Green Skies Ahead
by Ellawritesficssometimes
Summary: Isabel pretends to be happier than she is. Romano isn't as rude as he lets on. It's never easy coping with demons on your own, but perhaps friendship and a little something more could change that? (Fem! Spain x Romano/ Spamano.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello, hello! Welcome to this new fic of mine. It's a **stand-alone prequel** , so you don't have to worry about reading its sister fic. But, if do want to, the fic is called " **When Red Meets Violet** " Fair warning, things do get intense at the end.

For those of you coming from When Red Meets Violet, I hope you support this fic too. It would mean the absolute world to me, as I want to engage with people.

Welcome to my collaborative creation, otherwise known as the " **Color Verse** " where each story title is based off the character's eye colors. So creative. Much wow. (there's only two thus far including this story, but I'm planning two others in the future)

Anywho, to get some early trigger warnings out of the way, as it would greatly upset me if I hurt someone, there will be mentions of eating disorders and their habits, as well as mentions of depression.

Other than that, happy reading, and have a great day/ night :D

Fair warning, I won't update this for a bit, as there's two other fics (including WRMV) I'd like to get done by mid July! Then, if this story is doing well, you can expect much faster updates :)

-Ella

* * *

 **Romano's POV:**

I was having a nice fucking dream. Said dream came to a halt when I realized that I had slept right through my alarm, or rather, alarms. Ugh, you bastards better not be judging me. I was Italian, all right? We sleep through everything unless food, sex, or football is involved – that's European soccer by the way. Not that atrocious testosterone-filled fuck fest where brutes tackle each other into submission.

I groaned, slapping my forehead in anger. I had to wake up Felicia, – my little sister – otherwise she was going to miss her 'soccer' tryouts. That girl was an even deeper sleeper than I was, and that's saying something. I bet you anything the airhead was dreaming about pasta.

I sat up in my bed, which was really just the living room couch. Despite only wearing a pair of boxers, I was all sticky and sweaty due to the humid July weather outside. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford an air conditioner. Or much of anything for that matter.

The past two months have been rough for Felicia and myself. Our Nonno had passed away from a heart attack in May. I told the old fucker that he should have laid off the carbs and sweets, but _no_ , of course not, he just had to go and clog up his arteries. Nonno's death had hit us like a freight train; we hadn't been expecting it, and now we were on our own.

Felicia had always been Nonno's favourite, but I took his death just as hard as she did. The only problem was that I never showed it. Someone had to be strong through all of this, and that person just so happened to be me.

Perhaps, I should do a bit of backtracking to get you bastards all caught up with the shithole that is my life. As you can see, my thoughts are all over the place. Give me a fucking break, I just woke up.

Anyways, Felicia and I have lived with our Nonno ever since we were three and five respectively. My babbo died of lung cancer, and my mamma passed away soon afterwards from the grief. Spare me from your sobbing, for fuck's sakes. I don't need your pity.

We both had an admittedly healthy childhood. Nonno loved children and had always been a good role model to look up to. Sure, our family shouted like crazy, we didn't have much money, and we had pasta just about every night – because Felicia was a diva and always got her way, ahem – but we were always there for each other. And that's all that really mattered in the grand sight of things.

Nonno was a history teacher at a high school before he had retired. When Felicia and I became orphans, he had sacrificed everything for us. He used up his entire life savings to enroll us in extra curricular activities. We were always busy with something. Now I understand that he was trying to distract us from our parents' death.

For twelve years, Nonno worked several jobs, exhausting himself just to put food on our table. With an appetite like Felicia's, you would think that there were ten children to feed rather than two. The world's a sadistic place, and no school wanted to hire a 60+ year old teacher. Nonno had abandoned everything for us; his dignity; his pride; his money; everything.

I both loved and fucking hated that man. He was a saint, albeit an annoying one who loved to tease me at every given opportunity. I grew up with the guilt of knowing that I was a burden to him. I despised relying on other people, especially when they went out of their way for me. Nonno deserved better. I would never tell Felicia this, but I'm almost certain that he had worked himself to death. A man that age isn't supposed to be on his feet all day. The stubborn old fart, however, refused me when I had offered to get a job to help pay the bills.

Now that I was working at a pizza place seven days a week, I knew that Nonno would be rolling in his grave. I had always felt responsible for Felicia. We were even shorter on money, since I had used the last of Nonno's savings to give him a proper funeral. I don't regret a single thing. Yes, I was furious at him for something he couldn't have prevented, but I was just as stubborn as he was. He had entered this world in flamboyance, being the charismatic Italian that he was, and he had left this world in elegance. That was my final thank you to him. By giving him a dignified goodbye, I had restored the pride that he had long given up for his nipoti.

I didn't do Nonno any justice. In fact, I was a pretty miserable legacy. All I had going for me was a hard work ethic, one that I never applied in school. My time and devotion always went towards Felicia, my only family left. Don't tell her this, but I was thinking of getting a second job as a paper boy. I wanted to enroll her in a few art classes. She was amazing at what she did, and it would be a shame if she never got to develop her talents because of a lack of money.

Felicia was just like Nonno: bright-minded, a bit ditsy at times, kind, passionate, and creative. Whereas I was just bitter and angry all the time. Although, these past two months, I've rarely seen Felicia smile. Nonno's death had destroyed her; they had been so in tune with each other. They shared everything together: their hobbies, which included painting, and their personalities.

She had stopped painting after he died. I was really beginning to worry about her. That's why I worked my ass off so she could afford to tryout for the school's football team. I'm not calling it soccer, damn it. You North Americans can all go fuck yourselves with your surplus of obesity rates and ignorance levels.

So, you guys can probably all guess that I'm the overprotective brother type. Big fucking surprise, I care about my sister, and secretly hate myself because I'm a selfish prick. Blah, blah, blah, we get it already. I coped with Nonno's death by caring for my sister. Looking after her well-being had become my extra-curricular activity, _my_ distraction.

I wouldn't stop until she had finally cheered up. It didn't feel right to have her acting so gloomy all the time. It only reminded me about how much I had failed her and Nonno. I'm telling you, I'm not a good person. I yell and snap at people all the time. My angry fits of 'passion', as Nonno liked to call them, couldn't have been good for his blood pressure. Yup, I definitely played a role in killing him. Might as well arrest me for being an asshole. I would plead guilty to the charges in a heartbeat. Oh, for the love of fuck!

Classy, Romano. Real classy for a piece of shit like yourself.

I got up from the living room couch, stretching and cussing under my breath. Working every day really took its toll on you. That's right, Nonno. Fuck you. Fuck you for lying and saying that work was good for you. It's not. Oh, don't give me that look, you selfless piece of sacred shit. If it was so good for you, you would still be here.

I scowled, looking up at the picture of Nonno resting on top of the fire-place's mantle. He was like an older version of me with tanned olive skin, dark auburn hair and amber eyes, save for the stubble, old age, and attractiveness. He even had that same odd curl that stuck out from the rest of his big fat head.

"Stop smiling at me like you're proud or something," I whispered. "Felicia was your favourite, remember? And leave me the hell alone already!"

Nonno's smile didn't waver. I don't know why it would, considering it's a fucking picture.

"Fuck!" I rubbed at my eyes. They were getting all watery again for some idiotic reason.

I trudged over to Feli's bedroom, refusing to look at the room I used to share with Nonno. That room was dead to me. I didn't want to sleep in there, let alone enter it unless I absolutely had to. The room-that-shall-not-be-named would only be used for storage.

"Felicia," I called out. "Wake the fuck up! We're late!"

I heard soft groaning on the other end of the door, which prompted me to bang my fists against the wooden frame. "Felicia, get up!" I barked in my so-called 'adult' voice. "Don't make me come in there."

"Five more minutes," Felicia whined, yawning sleepily. I heard the creak of her mattress, followed by a contented sigh.

"Oh, hell no!" I furrowed my brows, wrenching open her bedroom door.

I stormed into Felicia's room, scoffing when I spotted her drowning in a pile of pink covers and stuffed animals. Dio, I spoiled this girl way too much. Her bedroom walls were covered with different murals that she had painted, ranging from pink pasta streaks, to rainbows, to unicorns, and all that other girly shit I won't even bother to mention.

All that was visible of Felicia was her head, her messy copper curls sprawled out on her pillow as she attempted to nuzzle her way back to dreamland.

I crossed my arms and loomed over her. "Felicia," I scolded.

Felicia crinkled her nose, pretending to ignore me.

"Felicia," I repeated. "You have a football tryout in one hour. Do you really want to be that freshman who makes a bad impression? The seniors are merciless. You'll become their dog if you don't get off to a good start."

It was the summer before Felicia entered her first year of high school. I was going into my junior year, so I knew how brutal sports teams could be towards their younger members. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience here. Although, I have no idea why they would be hosting tryouts this early. The season didn't start until September. It was currently _July._ Fucking overachievers, I couldn't stand them.

"What's so bad about being a dog?" Felicia pouted, mumbling into her pillow. "Dogs are cute. They'll love me."

"Being cocky now, are we?" I smirked. "One day your cuteness powers won't work on someone. What will you do then?"

"I'll win them over with pasta."

Touché.

This battle for consciousness wasn't done just yet.

"That's it!" I sat beside Felicia, reaching over to shake her shoulders back and forth. "Get up, you bum! You won't make the team with that lazy attitude!"

Sue me. I was overcompensating for Felicia's lack of enthusiasm lately.

Felicia pensively opened her eyes, revealing tired brown orbs. Her skin was paler than usual, despite already having a lighter complexion than me in the first place. She probably didn't get much sleep last night. "Come cuddle with me. You're being too loud and grumpy, fratello. Let me love you."

My eyes bugged out when Felicia pulled me down, wrapping her arms around my neck. Fuck, she was strong. I had a face full of her pink nightgown. "F-Feli!" I choked. "You won't get any breakfast if you choke me to death."

That comment woke Felicia up. Anything that involved food always caught her attention. I swear, if she didn't have such a good metabolism, she'd weigh 400 pounds.

While I gasped for breath, Felicia sat up, choosing instead to hug my bare torso. "Thank you," she murmured.

"For what?" I asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"For being you," Felicia gave me a wry smile. "Ve, I really do appreciate everything you do for me."

Satisfied that Felicia's verbal tick was back, – as that meant she was fully awake – I kissed her forehead and stood up from her bed. "You don't need to thank me. We're familia. You know I'll do anything for you."

Felicia yawned, stretching her thin arms behind her head. "Si, but what about you? What do you do for yourself? You're always working, Roma. You deserve to enjoy yourself too. That's why I can also get a job! It can't be too difficult, I can just-"

I held out my hand. "Nope! None of that nonsense! I already told you that only one person needs to be working in this family! Now, go get ready. I hung up your jersey on the balcony, there's frozen water in the freezer, and a container of fresh orange slices in the fridge. Chop, chop!"

Felicia whined in protest, but I wasn't having any of it. She was too young to worry about money. Only I could be concerned with such things. Who cares if I was exhausted? Felicia would always be my top priority. She deserved to live her life without any stress. She was talented, and I knew that if I pushed her hard enough, she would do very well in life. I can already see her being an artist…

Si, working those extra hours at the pizza place would be worth it in the end. If Felicia came out on top, then so would I.

I got dressed in a simple red t-shirt and a pair of denim jeans. I was then off to make breakfast. As I set myself in the kitchen, preparing two omelettes for the both of us, I felt the nasty tendrils of fatigue begin to set in. That's what I get for working overtime four nights in a row. I've often considered dropping out of school to make things easier for myself, but I knew Felicia wouldn't take that very well.

Every time I even hinted at the possibility, she threatened to get a job behind my back. Felicia wouldn't be getting a job, period. Not if I could help it. I wanted her to enjoy life. Besides, back when Nonno was alive, I did shit all. I was a lazy, entitled free-loader who couldn't even be bothered to make his bed. I had made a complete 180 these past couple of months. Now, I was pulling all the weight in this familia.

Oh great. I could feel Nonno's picture burning holes into my soul again. Christ! Doesn't that man have a life!?...

I'm not going to bother answering that tasteless, albeit completely unintentional joke. I think it's already been established that I'm an asshole.

While I plated the omelettes, Felicia flitted back and forth across our dingy apartment in a hurry, panic written on her face. All I saw was a flash of copper curls.

"Feli," I rolled my eyes. "What are you looking for now?"

Felicia poked her head out from underneath the pull-out bed in the living room. "My shin pads!" she squeaked.

"They're hanging on the vent by the bathroom," I responded, setting our plates on the kitchen table. "Get over here and eat. You're going to get a cramp if you don't get the proper nutrition in you."

Felicia scrambled to pull on her jersey, a cheap blue Italian knock off I had grudgingly purchased from Walmart. With a huff, she sat in the seat I had pulled up for her.

"Brush," I ordered.

Felicia handed me a hairbrush. While I combed through her waist-length curls, she scarfed down her breakfast, acting as if she hadn't eaten anything in days. I began to weave her hair in a tight braid, causing her to wince every now and then.

"So," I hummed. "Are you excited for tryouts?"

It was a weak attempt at conversation, but honestly anything from Felicia these days was God's given gift. Before she spoke too much, now she hardly spoke at all. She was a quiet shell of the joyful, adorable, and more importantly, _happy_ girl that she used to be.

Felicia took a sip of orange juice. "Si!" she trilled, causing me to smile. "Although, I'm a bit nervous about being the youngest one there, ve. Not many freshmen are brave enough to tryout. What if I don't make it? I'm always told that I'm too small, but strikers are supposed to be small! I can get past the defensemen much easier because I'm small. And I'm fast! And my footwork is good!"

I blinked back tears. _Finally._ Finally, Felicia was excited about something. We had always shared a love for football together. Breaking my back so she could play the sport just became that much more worth it.

I swallowed heavily. "Hair elastic," I grunted.

Felicia handed me a hair elastic.

I worked on tying the ends of her braid. "You shouldn't be nervous, Feli. We both know that you should be playing in a competitive league. High school soccer is beneath your skill, and you fucking know that. If I don't hear that you kicked ass today, I'll be super surprised. Remember everything that I taught you, and you'll be fine, promise. And if any of those older girls give you a rough time, you can sure as hell expect me to give them a piece of my damn mind. Now, who are you?!"

"A Vargas," Felicia answered meekly.

"And what do Vargases never do?" I asked.

"Give up."

"You best believe it!" I huffed. "All right. Pep talk over. We really need to get going."

I scarfed down my own omelette while Felicia did the dishes. Unfortunately, I didn't win that argument. Apparently, I 'babied her' and that she was a 'big girl.' Che, as if.

I grabbed my backpack, checking for my wallet, keys, and phone. Felicia was bent over in the front room, failing miserably to tie the laces of her bright red cleats.

"Here," I sighed, crouching next to her. "Let me do them."

Felicia blushed and looked away, too shy to refuse. She was just that adorable and helpless. Honestly, I didn't mind helping her, damn it. She was just as stubborn as me…and Nonno.

"There," I stood up, brushing off the dust from my jeans. "Checklist time."

I grinned at Felicia's horrified expression. She whined for good measure.

"Cleats? Shinpads? Socks?" I paused, bending over again to turn both of her socks the right way.

"Open your bag."

"But Romano-!"

"Open it. And no, pouting isn't going to make this process go any faster. Maybe if you weren't so forgetful, I wouldn't have to 'baby' you all the time."

"Spare socks? Water bottle? Extra hair ties? Sports wrap? Ice pack? Orange slices? Extra sweater? Change of clothes? Granola bars? Sunscreen?"

I was flitting around Felicia like a mother hen. How fucking lame and pathetic was that?

Felicia sighed, sarcastically saluting me with a dry "si" upon every necessity I listed. Most people at school thought that she was an angel. In reality, she was a watered-down version of myself; one that smiled more, ate more, and was more likeable. She could be very rude if she wanted to be, she just didn't show off this side of herself to people very often. After all, she was a Vargas; we were all made with an extra bit of spice. No, it's not racist and stereotypical if I say that, fuck you.

Dio, I missed playing football. I used to play in a competitive league before our lives went to shit. The nostalgia was so painful that it was almost numbing.

I tried my best to repress these memories. I'd deal with them later before I went to sleep. Because that's just how fucking brilliant of a problem solver I was.

"Oh!" I slapped my forehead. "You have your key, right? I won't be home until ten or so. There's leftover pasta in the fridge. When I get back, we can probably watch a movie or something. Would you like that?"

Felicia smiled, a small one, but it was still a smile nonetheless. She pulled out her key from underneath her jersey. I had forced her to wear it as a necklace, as she was often very careless and forgetful. "Si, I would like that. But I would like it a lot more if you stayed to watch my tryout."

I felt my face flush as I _tried_ to ignore those wide puppy dog eyes of hers.

It wasn't long before I relented. Felicia was my one weakness in life. Never mind, tomatoes were also a weakness of mine. I was always a slut for a good tomato. Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh, si, si! Felicia was begging me to watch her tryout.

"I guess I could call that pita bastard, and tell him I'll be coming in a bit later than usual. It's not like the restaurant will be busy now anyway," I grumbled, biting my lip.

Damn, I could have really used those extra hours. Then again, I could never say no to Felicia.

Why?

Because her face just lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when I said that. "Really?!" she squealed. "Oh Roma, that makes me so happy, ve! I'll play extra hard, just for you!"

I bit the inside of my cheek. Fuck, she looked just like Nonno; that same unrelenting grin that spread across both corners of her rosy face. It was a smile that could cure cancer and bring peace to the world. Felicia was too precious to disappoint. For the first time in weeks, she was glowing.

I blinked back tears. Her happiness was both blinding and relieving. Fuck, she really got me good, huh?

"You better," I choked, my voice cracking. "I'll disown you if you score less than five goals today."

Felicia jumped up and down in excitement. She was a tiny little thing filled with glee and it made my heart swell. "I'll score seven, ve! I always play better when you're there to watch me! You're my good luck charm~!"

"Ha!" I chuckled weakly. "If you truly feel that way, then I'll have to come to all of your games then. Pft! Stop pretending to be modest, we both know that you'll be making this team."

"If you say so, ve," Felicia said shyly.

I made a quick mental note to myself: _cheer Feli on until her ears bleed out. Well, either that or until she gets embarrassed._

I checked my watch. "Shit! The bus comes in five minutes! Out! Out! Out!"

I moved to shove Felicia out the door, but paused for a moment, choosing instead to pull her into a thoughtless hug. I did it on instinct, holding her close to me like this. I didn't know what had come over me.

Felicia looked up at me. "Roma, why are your eyes red?"

"Just allergies," I blinked harshly. "You know how I am in the mornings! Oi, out you go!"

Felicia gave me a curious look; she was oblivious to most things, but not when it came to how I was feeling. I didn't give her a chance to inquire further.

Felicia stumbled out of the apartment, as I had shoved her forward.

"Go downstairs, and tell that asshole driver to wait for me if he's already there! Run, Feli! Run!" I barked.

Felicia saluted me, this time out of respect, before determinately running off towards the stairwell. The girl could run like you wouldn't fucking believe.

I spared one last look at Nonno's picture, narrowing my eyes at him in a scowl.

"I hope you're happy, you old bastard. I'm becoming you."

…

 **Isabel's POV:**

I was sort of, kind of, grumpy. Okay, I was grumpy. But, to be fair, I woke up at 6AM today. Why? Well, because I'm the boss of course! Basically, I was hosting tryouts for the girl's soccer team. The season didn't start until September, and yes it was July, but our team was the best in the city last year. Lots of our upperclassmen graduated, so much so, that I was given the title of captain when I was only a junior myself. I had a legacy to uphold!

Now, I was doodling in my clipboard, attempting to look serious and contemplative. I was surprised and pleased by the turnout today. There were several freshmen from last year – now sophomores - and even one freshman was brave enough to tryout. Felicia was really cute! Hopefully, she had skills to makeup for her small size. The older girls would surely take advantage of this and push her around. Heck, I was pretty small myself; that's why I played goalie most of the time!

I fastened the red headband in my hair, keeping my curls – which had a mind of their own – out of my face. I walked up and down the painted-white sideline, inspecting the new recruits as they jogged up and down the pitch. The air was muggy and humid outside, suffocating even. I could already feel a thin layer of sweat begin to bead on my forehead. Thankfully, there was an early morning wind to cool things off.

Red and yellow cleats trudged against the dew-covered ground, my long ponytail bouncing with a sense of importance. I smirked as I watched our team's infamous groupie bellow into her megaphone, chasing - more like sprinting - after the jogging, red-faced recruits.

"Hop to it, bitches! Kesesese! No pain, no gain! I could outrun you sluts any day of the week! Also, I AM AWESOME!"

Gillian cackled, her long white ponytail dragging several inches behind her. I'm almost sure that a sophomore got bitch-slapped by Gillian's hair, that's just how long it was. Poor chica…

Gillian was one of my best-friends out of a trio. She was an oddball, if her crimson red eyes and milk-white skin didn't already make this obvious, but I loved her very dearly. She was a precious goofball whom I often got into trouble with, eheh.

The other member of our trio, Marianne, wouldn't be caught dead waking up this early, let alone dare to venture out into this humid jungle. The French's hair was her most important asset, after all. She was the sane person of our group, acting like a mother to Gillian and myself. The three of us just worked together somehow, between our constant bickering, cackling, and boy-watching. You'll get to meet Marianne later though! For now, let's just focus on the tryout!

The only reason Gillian was here was because her younger brother, Lud, a freshman, had volunteered to help manage the team for me. Hence – _Look at me! Using fancy terms like that_! – the reason she was here. Gillian didn't have any interest in playing for the team; that would be no fun for her. She liked bossing people around, as she considered herself to be a 'Queen.' Believe me, her egotism is actually endearing once you get to know her. She has a really big heart, and always looks out for those close to her! Besides, I was the boss, not her.

"Tori! Quit wheezing! You sound like you smoke 3 packs a day!" Gillian exclaimed, again into her megaphone. Dios mio, her voice was already scratchy as is. Whose idea was it to give her a megaphone?

Too bad Lud was inside the school, filling up the team's water bottle stock. Lud was the only person who could keep Gillian in line. Usually this entailed him putting her in a headlock, but hey you don't see me complaining! Lud sure was big for a freshman; he was taller and buffer than most seniors.

I thought their sibling relationship was cute. My hermano was too old for me to have such a close relationship with him. You couldn't bond over taxes and paperwork, could you? Ay! I'm getting off track. Lo siento, I do that a lot. Marianne tells me all the time that my brain is like a croissant: full of air (I don't understand this one), butter (because I'm clingy, apparently), and sugar (because I'm sweet~!).

Speaking of which, I should probably get moving. I still had the muffin I had for breakfast to burn off.

I blew my whistle when I saw Lud come back with the water bottle basket in stow. The recruits pooled around me, with Gillian slapping the butts of the stragglers. "Bring it in, girls!" I called out, in my assertive 'boss' voice of course, eheh.

Lud rolled his eyes before picking up Gillian by the armpits and depositing her in a place where no one else was standing. "I told you that French girl was a bad influence on you," he muttered, while Gillian stuck out her tongue at him.

At first glance, you wouldn't think that Gillian and Lud were siblings. Lud looked like the stereotypical German; blond hair, sharp blue eyes, a stoic facial expression, and 'scary' muscles. Meanwhile, Gillian was scrawny, short, and awkwardly built. She was still very pretty though, don't get me wrong…

"I hope you choke on a baguette and die," Gillian smirked, draping a bony elbow over Lud's shoulder. "Besides, someone has to keep these whores in line."

I cleared my throat, ending their squabble. "Hello, everyone~!" I beamed, smiling and making sure to establish eye contact with the new recruits. First impressions were always important!

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Isabel, and I'll be your captain for the upcoming season. So far, it looks like you girls could work on your stamina. But no worries, we'll make sure to fix that over the course of this summer. First things first, we're looking to replace our striker and midfielder positions – I play goalie if you couldn't already tell by my bright yellow jersey, eheh.

"Anyways, we're in need of players who can run for a long time without getting tired. That's why I'll be hosting weekly fitness days along with our regular practices. Tryouts will run for two weeks before I post those who have made the team online. Any questions?"

Gillian made a smug comment, but other than that, there were no questions.

"All right!" I eagerly tapped my clipboard. "I'll be taking attendance now. When I call your name, please say "here" and what position you'd like to play! I'll start with the first years."

"Felicia?" I called out.

"Here," Felicia meekly called out, her voice weak. She was practically swallowed up in the crowd, going unnoticed by most. That is until Lud set his eyes on her. For some reason, his cheeks became pink. I wonder if he was suffering from heat stroke? Really though? This early in the morning? I know white people tan easily, but _seriously_!

"And what would you like to play?" I asked her sweetly. "I'd also like to say congrats for being the only freshman brave enough to try out. That takes a lot of guts, kid."

"S-striker!" Felicia stammered. "I'd like to play striker if you don't mind! And, uh, gracie, ve…"

Gillian bent over to whisper something in Lud's ear. "You sly introverted dog, you," she snickered. "You think that chick's cute, don't you?"

Lud swallowed heavily, his ears reddening as well. "Nein, she just surprised me. I didn't even notice her."

Felicia really was a tiny little thing.

Several of the older girls' eyes widened.

Feliksa, otherwise known as the fabulous 'Kiki' scoffed indignantly. She was one of the two seniors on the team. "Like, really? I swear, they get smaller and smaller every year!"

Kiki loved attention, which was probably why she played center-mid.

Tori, the other senior on the team, placed a hand on Kiki's shoulder, shaking her head in scolding. "Kiki, you're not that much bigger than her. Give the poor girl a chance."

Tori liked staying away from the action. She was a reliable, cool-headed defenseman who had a knack for making the right moves and assessing the gameplay well.

I smiled at Tori, whose chartreuse eyes reflected my kindness with a weak smile. "Gracias, Tori. I'll remind you all that we don't tolerate putdowns of any sort! If we're to be a team, we better start acting like it!"

"Pft, whatever!" Kiki huffed, flipping her shoulder-length blonde hair out of her face.

I ignored this outburst and continued to call out the names of the returning sophomores.

"Mei?"

"Here! Left winger!"

"Michelle?"

"Here! Right winger!" Michelle giggled, sparing Mei a playful look. Those two had been waiting to fill those positions for almost a year now. I couldn't blame them for being so excited.

"Rachel?"

"R-right d-efenseman!" Rachel stammered. The girl lacked confidence in her abilities. She was good, but it looked like she would be sitting on the bench for most of the season; again.

Once I finished calling out names, I tossed my clipboard off to the side. Lud winced; he didn't care for my carelessness, eheh.

I clapped both hands together, garnering everyone's attention again. They were all chatting excitedly, save for Felicia who didn't know anyone. "For our first drill, I want you guys to pair up with someone. We'll be practicing headers, chest control, and one-touch passing."

The girls paired up. Even Gillian, who technically wasn't trying out, was nice enough to be Rachel's partner. Edel, Rachel's usual partner, unfortunately couldn't make it here today.

This left only Felicia without a partner. I would have paired up with her, but I needed to assess the skills of those trying out.

Completely surprising everyone, Lud cleared his throat. "Felicia, is it?" he blurted out awkwardly.

Felicia nervously played with the tip of her braid. "Si! And you are…?"

"Lud," Lud answered, his lips curling into the faintest of smiles. "Since you're lacking a partner, I would be more than willing to help fill that place."

Que?! Lud smiling! Was the world ending? I looked up at the sky, just in case. Nope, the world was still intact. But what a sight! Gillian's jaw nearly dropped to the ground. Seriously, she should really close her mouth; there were a ton of mosquitos outside. She could get malaria if she wasn't careful.

Felicia's eyebrows raised when Lud shook hands with her. It wasn't long before she was giving him a toothy smile, her sweet brown eyes sparking with life. She had a friend now and had even given him an adorable nickname. Aw, how cute~!

"Nice to meet you, Luddy!" Felicia exclaimed, grabbing Lud's wrist. "Thank you for being so kind by the way, ve! I was really nervous to be here, but you just made me so happy!"

Lud stumbled forward, surprised by the strength of Felicia's grip as she towed him towards an empty space for them to practice the drill. "N-No problem. I'm just doing my job…"

"Ahaha! Why is your face so red?" Felicia asked. "My fratello's face always turns red when he's embarrassed? Are you embarrassed? Oh, that's my fratello right there, if you were wondering!"

I perked my ears, satisfied that Felicia was becoming comfortable in the team atmosphere. Who knew that she was such a chatty person? She had been so quiet before!

Felicia pointed towards an auburn-haired boy sitting off by the bleachers. "Wasn't it nice of him to come here and watch me?" she asked.

"J-ja, very nice," Lud somehow managed to stumble out in between blushing and sweating profusely. Gillian knew her brother better than anyone; she had called his infatuation with Felicia from the start. How odd, though. I don't think I've ever seen him be this tongue-tied before. He was a know-it-all who always had something to say, or rather criticize about Gillian. It was a nice change of pace.

I smirked, leaving the two 'lovebirds' to do their drills. It was funny watching Lud be dragged around by a girl so small in size.

I let my attention drift over to the boy sitting on the bleachers. Even from here, I could tell that he was good-looking. He was thin, more like lean, and had a very dignified aura about him. Despite only wearing a simple red t-shirt and a pair of jeans, he looked mysterious. He was pretty; he had smooth olive skin and a funny pout on his face. In fact, he didn't look very pleased to see Felicia practicing with Lud, a boy. Ah, so he was one of those overprotective brother types! I should probably do something to reassure him.

Without thinking, I waved at the boy when he looked up to meet my gaze. I don't think he saw me because his head snapped down and he immediately began scrolling through his phone. Surely, he couldn't be _that_ rude if he was sweet little Felicia's older brother?

Oh well.

I went back to observing the ongoing drill.

Felicia was surprisingly good. No, she was amazing. She had great footwork and control over the ball. I'm not just saying this because I think she's cute, but she was better than most of the older girls, and I'd only seen her practice for five minutes.

Oh…

 **Thump-Thump! Thump-Thump!**

Felicia was really, _really,_ cute. I swallowed heavily, closing my eyes. I felt my face heat in embarrassment. As a bisexual, it was hard to keep these feelings at bay. Not that I was against who I was. It's just, I had a very bad experience in middle school that's made me afraid to show this side of myself to others. My family knew about it, and were more than supportive. They were actually fantastic! Gillian and Marianne were also amazing.

But as for the rejection I experienced? Not so amazing. My middle school boyfriend, Rodereich, treated me horribly when I had admitted my real sexuality to him. I really thought that he had loved me. He had been wonderful at first; charming, smart, nice. You know, he was an overall pleasant person to be around, even if he didn't speak all that much. That is until he opened his mouth and said something I could never forget, no matter how much I tried:

 _"Bisexuality isn't real. You're just greedy. Am I not enough for you?"_

As you can probably guess, I was heartbroken. Rodereich had been my everything. I told him about my sexuality because I trusted him; I wanted him to know every detail about me. I expected him to appreciate my honesty. I thought that this admission would bring us closer. All it did was tear us apart, and for no good reason too. He had fooled me into thinking he was the right person for me. _He_ would never be enough for me. Even if he, um, was the one to break up with me for my sexuality… Si, that hurt me a lot.

Although, something good did come out of our breakup. I became friends with Gillian shortly after being dumped. She had briefly gone to elementary school with Rodereich, and knew him for who he truly was: a terrible, awful, and narrow-minded person. Apparently, he had an old grudge against her. Back when we dated, he never had anything nice to say about her – that's why I had initially avoided speaking to her.

Anyway, I was already friends with Marianne at the time, so Gillian was the perfect addition! The three of us soon became inseparable; it's almost been three years since we've all become friends! They've helped me through a lot, although, I can't help but feel nervous when I get these flutters of desire in my stomach.

Oh well. ( _Si, I say this a lot. I'm normally a very happy person! Trust me_!)

It looked like Lud was interested in Felicia. I didn't want to intrude, especially on something as rare as that. Perhaps I'll try flirting with her older brother after the tryout is over. He really was quite handsome, now that I think of it. I wanted to see him up-close for myself. I don't think I've ever seen a guy resist my sexy Spanish charm!

He was, after all, our first fan of the season!

And a fan was exactly what Felicia's older brother turned out to be when I decided to wrap up the tryout with a good old game of World Cup. The game is pretty simple. Basically, you pair up with a person and declare yourselves to be a certain country. Every pair needs to score a goal to make it to the next round. When you score, you have to say your country's name out loud, otherwise the goal doesn't count. These sudden death rounds go on until there's only two teams left; the first team to score out of the final two wins!

Here's an example: Say I'm not playing as the goalie. I'll play as Spain. I shoot the ball at the net, and it looks like it's going in. I have to shout "Spain!" for the goal to be properly counted. Then my partner and I would leave the field and wait until the next round.

Simple, right?

It's a muy fun game, if you're ever bored! It makes time pass by really quickly!

Gillian and Rachel declared themselves as Prussia, as expected of the former. I was surprised yet again when Lud let Felicia pick their country; she picked Italy. Usually Lud played as Germany, his home nation, but it was nice to see him act like such a gentleman!

Tori and Kiki were playing as Poland; Michelle and Mei were playing as Taiwan, and so on and so forth. There were too many countries and players for me to keep track of.

I put on my keeper gloves, picking up the dirt-matted soccer ball once I was ready. From the corner of my eye, I saw Felicia's older brother put down his phone. Wanting to impress him, I smirked and took a few steps back.

I booted the ball so far down the field that it was a mere speck in the air. I looked over to Felicia's brother, only to find myself disappointed again. I mean, I really shouldn't be. He was watching Felicia scramble way ahead of everyone else for the ball, just like a good older brother should. Dios mio! That girl could run! She was a true Italian, all right!

When Felicia got control over the ball, she paused, waiting for everyone to catch up to her. When Kiki dove in to steal the ball from her, Felicia swerved to the right, dancing out of the way of the Pole with quick, fancy footwork. Felicia proceeded to effortlessly deek through everyone, sprinting down the field with no one but Lud running after her.

"Like, what just happened?!"

"Go for it, Felicia!" Lud called, running parallel to her on the opposite side of the field. "The shot's wide open!"

I was astounded that Felicia was able to keep up with Lud. What's more, Lud looked impressed! I knew it! It was love at first sight~! They made such a good team!

Felicia's brother stood up on the bleachers, cupping two thin hands over his mouth. "That's it, Feli!" he cheered. "You're kicking ass!"

I blushed slightly. He had a really attractive voice; thick, smooth, and slightly accented. It was sweet how supportive of his sister he was.

All was swell until Felicia popped out of nowhere - seriously, how the heck did she do that?! – punting the ball into the righthand corner of the net.

"This is for you, fratello!" Felicia huffed and puffed, looking proud of herself. Dio, I wanted to pinch her cheeks so badly!

I didn't stand a chance, mainly because I hadn't been paying attention.

"Italy!" Lud bellowed, making their goal official.

Felicia slowed down to a walk, beaming from ear to ear. She winded Lud accidentally by pulling him into a rib-crushing hug. "Luddy, we did it, ve~!"

I didn't see this, but Felicia's older brother nearly snapped his phone in half.

Lud awkwardly returned the hug, towering over Felicia as he stiffly patted her back, his eyes bugged out of their sockets. "I didn't do a thing. That goal was all you," he admitted, flushing a faint pink.

Okay mi amigas, on three. Unos, dos, trez: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww~!

While Felicia towed a stammering Lud off the field, chatting her little head off once again – it was cute how this one curl bounced with each step she took – I scooped up the ball. I wouldn't slip up again. That first goal was lucky; I would be going full beast mode now.

I also, kinda, um, wanted to impress Felicia's brother. I felt like I was fighting against his phone for his attention. I mean, like, hola?! I'm totally attractive, and you should be looking at me, the amazing tanned girl with super dreamy green eyes and a hot body?!

Gillian and Marianne say I can be cocky sometimes. I don't really understand that. But, I am quite passionate about the things I love.

They also call me 'hopelessly oblivious'.

I don't know why they call me that either.

Before I knew it, there were only two teams left: Italy and Poland. Gillian was off to the side pouting and eating out her feelings with an entire box of granola bars that Lud had been smart enough to pack.

Felicia was dazzling the field with her fancy footwork as usual, having just made Tori look like a fool for slide tackling empty space. Si, Felicia would definitely be making this team. That was without a doubt.

"Felicia, look out!" Lud shouted, alarmed.

Too late. Ay!

Kiki violently bumped shoulders with Felicia, sending the latter tumbling to the ground.

Kiki smirked. "The Polish play dirty, little one," she said devilishly. "We have no rules."

"OI! What the hell?!" Felicia's brother bellowed, balling his fists. He turned to look at me ( _ah~?_!), the ref. "Ref! Aren't you going to call a foul?!"

Felicia, with the help of Lud, staggered to her feet.

"Are you all right?!" Lud asked Felicia, looking her up and down with worry. Meanwhile, Tori crossed her arms and began to lecture an un-listening Kiki about playing fairly.

"S-si," Felicia stammered. She appeared to be all right. Just a bit shaken up from the fall. "I'm fine. I'm a lot tougher than I look, ve," she smiled.

I blew my whistle, aiming a playful wink at Felicia's brother. "Penalty shot!" I called out.

"So not cool," Kiki whined. "I like, barely touched her."

"You sent the kid flying three feet in the air," Tori snapped.

"So?" Kiki rolled her eyes. "She looked fabulous and graceful. You're just jealous because you can't like, kick a ball that high."

Tori looked like she was considering strangling Kiki. Although, most people often thought about doing that. The Pole talked way too much; more than I did, even!

I ignored the rest of their bickering. I grabbed the soccer ball from Lud, placing it on the goal line.

Lud looked at Felicia. "Do you want me to take it?"

Felicia shook her head, her lips pursed in determination. "No, I'll do it. I'll prove to them that they messed with the wrong girl."

Felicia looked scary serious. I made a mental note to myself to never piss off that chica. She looked like a murderous china doll.

Lud patted Felicia's back, just like comrades would. "You know what to do then," he nodded his head in respect.

Lud was right.

The ball soared into the net before I even realized that Felicia had kicked it.

"Italy!"

Que?!

Seriously, how the heck does she do that?!

…

"Need help with that?" I smiled, offering to help Felicia carry the gym bags into the school.

Unfortunately, since she was the only freshman, that meant she had to take down all the nets, and pack up the ball bags. Lud was busy doing water bottle inventory – I told him he didn't need to do that, but he did it anyway. He was just as stubborn as his older sister.

I'm sure Lud would have helped Felicia had he not been in the middle of confiscating Gillian's fifteenth granola bar. She had a tendency to distract him from getting any work done.

("You've surpassed your daily sugar intake for the whole week, you lunatic!" Lud groaned, waving the confiscated granola bar over Gillian's head. "Ack! Did you just lick my hand?!"

"Kesesesese! Your hands taste salty! It matches your arsehole of an attitude! Now, gimme!"

Si, Gillian was definitely on a sugar high. Also, que-?!

"Nein!")

Felicia looked up, her brown eyes warm with gratitude. "Oh, si! That would be very nice of you, ve!"

I felt a pang of anger settle in my stomach. I needed to remind the sophomores that they should be helping out with the clean up too. Either way, as the captain of this team, it was also my duty to help!

I crouched next to Feli, helping her fold the net properly. "You were very good today," I commended her. "I don't think I've ever seen a freshman as skilled as you~!"

Felicia's eyes became beach balls, her face flushing slightly. "Really?!"

"Yes, really!" I giggled, patting her back. Ah, she was so tiny…so cute~!

I just wanted to hug and squeeze her until she couldn't breathe!

"You kicked Kiki off her high-horse. That doesn't happen very often," I admitted.

Felicia snickered. "I have mio fratello to thank, ve. He's my good luck charm. I always play my best when he's there to watch me!"

I wonder why Felicia said 've' so often. Perhaps it was a verbal tick?

"Feli, you really ought to give yourself more credit," a male voice spoke behind us before I had a chance to respond. "You played just fine when it was only Nonno there to watch you."

Felicia inhaled sharply before forcing a smile on her face. If I hadn't been so close to her, I wouldn't have caught that. I was supposedly oblivious to things like this.

I turned around, only to find Felicia's brother standing over us. He must have left the bleachers to help us out. He looked bored with a black backpack haphazardly strung over his shoulder. Now that I could see him up close, I was even more attracted to him.

He had the most beautiful amber eyes that I had ever seen. They were almost cat-like; wry, dangerous, and perhaps a bit bitter? His lips pursed sourly. He just looked so…I don't know, casual? Like he didn't care about anything. I found myself ogling at how his auburn hair glinted red under the sun. He had that same adorable curl sticking out from the rest of his head like Felicia did.

He was very handsome, and I wanted him to look at me. He was kinda tall though, eheh. But not too tall!

Felicia met her brother's gaze. "Grazie," she whispered, her voice deflated from its earlier excitement. Hmmm. I would have to do something about that!

I helped Felicia zip up the bag before standing up and offering a hand to her brother. "Hola~!" I chirped. "It's a pleasure to meet you! Your little sister is amazing at soccer! I was just telling her that! Sorry about not calling that foul fast enough, by the way!"

Felicia's brother looked at my keeper's glove, cocking his head to the side. Blushing, I retreated my hand. I really wanted to smack my forehead for forgetting that I was wearing them. Ay! I was so embarrassed; I was probably as red as a tomato.

"Romano," he answered, cocking his head to the side with a 'what the hell' expression on his face. He appeared to be weirded out by me. Ay, it wouldn't be the first time. I really sucked at first impressions. "I know, and don't worry about it. It's, uh, nice to meet you too…?"

"Isabel!" I blurted out.

Romano…what a dreamy name!

Romano curtly nodded his head in acknowledgement. He was very short with his sentences and quick to the point. I wish he'd talk more so I could hear his sexy voice. "Well, Isabel, Felicia and I really need to get go-"

"Hey!" Gillian called out, running towards us with Lud quick on her heels. She had stolen the box of granola bars from him again. "I know you!" she said, jabbing a pale index finger at Romano. "You live in the apartment building next to us!"

Romano arched a brow at Gillian, his face showing no recognition. Instead, it showed mild annoyance. I couldn't blame him; Gillian was practically screaming in his face. Romano was also glaring at Lud, who was smartly keeping his distance from the former.

"We do?" Romano asked Gillian.

"Hell ja! I see you all the time!" Gillian blabbered. "I've tried saying hi to you, but you always ignore me or have headphones in."

"Oh," Romano hummed, disinterested. He then turned to look at Felicia. "Get your things ready. I'll drop you off at home before I go in for my shift. I still have a bit of time."

"Hey, you arse!" Gillian huffed, her chest swelling up like a blowfish. "The awesome me was talking to you! Don't just ignore me!"

Romano smirked, rolling his eyes. "Loud people like you are the reason why I wear headphones."

Lud wrapped an arm around Gillian's waist, sighing as she futilely tried to free herself from his grip. "Let me at that prick! I'll wipe that smug look off his face!"

"Sure you will," Lud rolled his eyes. "All 110 pounds of you."

Romano scoffed.

An awkward silence passed before Felicia laughed nervously, trying to ease the tension. "Ve, we'll have to visit them sometime, right fratello? We can order pizza together or something! Luddy, you never told me you lived so close by!"

Lud shrugged. "I honestly didn't know," he raised one hand in surrender. Hey, I've said this earlier, but Felicia could be pretty scary when she wanted to be.

Romano didn't look very pleased by this. "Luddy?" he just about growled.

"Yes, 'Luddy,'" Gillian scowled. "Your sweet and _totally not_ rude sister became friends with my little bruder, Lud. So, buddy, old pal, old prick of the bleachers, it looks like you'll have to get to know me whether you like it or not. The name's Gillian. I also respond to Queen awesome, or your majesty."

Romano turned to give me an incredulous look. Si, me! He looked at me. "Does she ever stop talking?" he deadpanned.

I giggled. "No, especially since you just insulted her pride. Kudos though. Not many people are brave enough to do that."

"So, what do you say, Romano?" Felicia asked, batting her lashes. "Do you think we can hang out with them sometime? Together?"

I swallowed back a tinge of jealousy. I wanted to hang out with them too!

Also, can we just take a second to appreciate how fun it is to say Romano's name? I get to roll my r's with him! That's sexy, right? Okay, it's not just me.

"Sure, whatever," Romano shrugged, completely indifferent. "Now, let's go."

"Oi," Gillian intervened. "If you're in such a rush, we can take Felicia home for you."

"No," Romano said without hesitation, his voice dry. "Thanks for the offer, but I'd prefer taking her myself."

He really was an overprotective brother type.

"But Roma!" Felicia whined. "I can get to know everyone better. And weren't you the one who said that I needed to make more friends? Go ahead! Don't let me make you be later to work than you have to be."

Romano bit his lip – I felt the urge to cup a hand over my face to stop my nose from bleeding. His expression looked conflicted, flashing to something akin to grief and concern before he pursed his lips in a thin line.

"Feli…" he started, faltering when he saw the pleading look on Felicia's face. "Oh, all right. But I want everyone's cellphone numbers," he grumbled. "Just in case."

You can only guess how ecstatic I was when I put my number in Romano's phone. I put my name as "Isabel ❤" I know, I know. I can be such a flirt sometimes. You don't have to tell me that.

I was going to Gillian's house after practice anyway. My house was very lonely during the summer; my parents were hardly ever home.

"Be careful and don't come home too late if you stay out," Romano looked back at Felicia one last time, his expression turning to disdain when he locked eyes with Lud. His amber eyes practically spelled ' _make a move on my sister, and I'll cut you_.'

"Okay! Bye Roma! Have a great day at work!" Felicia exclaimed happily, dancing with Gillian, who was excitedly swinging their arms back and forth.

There was something about Romano that reminded me of a parent. He was too mature, too serious. He was like an old man; tired, grumpy; and yet still very adorable. He didn't look very happy to be leaving Felicia, but her happiness must have been enough to placate his foul mood.

As Romano began to walk away, I did something _very_ stupid and _very_ bold. "Hey!" I called out to him.

Romano turned around, his brows furrowing together and his gently sloped nose crinkling slightly. "I'll see you next time, si? Maybe you can even play with us! We could always use the extra help!"

I didn't see this, as he was too far away, but Romano blushed, quietly chuckling to himself.

"Sure?" he shouted back. "Uh, bye…"

"Cool~! I'll text you later~!"

 _Why did I say that?!_

Romano blushed even redder, unbeknownst to me.

I grinned from ear to ear, while Gillian cupped my own blushing face with two pale hands.

"Oh, mein gott," Gillian sighed. "Don't tell me you like him?"

"Oi!" Gillian slapped my face, none too gently either. "You there, girlie?"

"Eheh," I laughed without realizing it, a dreamy, love struck expression on my face. "So cute."

 **To Be Continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Let it be said that I did warn you guys it would be a while before I updated this again. Anyway, I finished several stories, so I'm not juggling between updates as much. Updates will probs be like half the amount of time it took for me to pump out this chapter. Oh, and I made it extra long (11,000 words!)

Quick reminder that supporting your authors makes them write faster, who knew :p?! Many thanks for those who have reviewed, followed and favourited. It's wonderful beans like you that keeps this fandom alive and kicking. And if you're not doing that, start! Why aren't you anyway, don't you love Hetalia?! This fandom really is dropping, like **real** talk guys.

There's a tumblr event at the beginning of September that aims to revive the fandom. It's called the **HetaliaExtravaganza2017**. If you're on tumblr and would like to write, I highly recommend participating! I sure am! Anyways, have a great day/ night!

 **TRIGGER WARNING** : Mentions of eating disorders.

* * *

 **Romano's POV:**

It was an early Saturday morning, and surprise-surprise, I was tired as fuck. I had left the apartment early this morning in the hopes that Heracles would let me off at two in the afternoon. Felicia was still tired from hanging out with those kids from our school, so she hadn't been awake to give me her usual goodbye hug and kiss on the cheek.

Keh, it's not if I needed her to do that. Oh no, of course not. I wasn't angry about it at all. No, sir, ma'am, bella, and bastard, I was perfectly fine with leaving the apartment without so much as a "I love you, fratello!" or "Have a good day, fratello" or even "I'll bring you pasta for lunch, fratello!"

Nope, still not angry.

Don't even get me started on how I managed to get that demon chick's number in my phone. You know, the annoying as hell one with white hair and red eyes? God, she was loud. She never shut up, and I had only spoken to her for all but five minutes.

There was also that blue-eyed potato cunt, who had ogled at Feli during the whole try-out. I would most definitely have to keep my eye on him.

And then there was that Spanish girl, Isabel I think was her name. She was… strange, that's for sure. It unnerved me how much she smiled, or how she laughed and giggled at everything around her. I guess I wasn't used to being around someone as cheerful as her, especially since Feli hasn't been her usual self these past two months.

Although, I did see Feli smile when she was around Isabel, so at least I trusted one person from that friend group. Either way, whether I liked it or not, it was good for Feli to make friends. She needed to get out of the house more. She hasn't painted in the longest time, so all she really did was sit blankly in the living room and watch boring soap operas. Being around other people would do her a lot of good, even if most of said people were obnoxious and likely perverted. The poor girl deserved to enjoy her summer, not lounge around all day like the lazy bum I used to be.

Feli thrived when she was with people; she was a social butterfly. Nonno's death had briefly caused her wings to get stuck, but with a careful amount of mending, she'd be back to normal in no time. I would make sure of it.

It was for this reason that I went into work early today, arriving at the hellish, near-impossible hour of six AM. I wanted to get home early and spend some proper time with Feli, like hosting a movie night or simply cooking pasta together while we listened to classic Italian music. I was so busy with work that I had forgotten about the simple pleasures of life. Correction, I had taken them for granted.

Before, I had all the time in the world since it was Nonno holding up the roof on top of our heads. Now, it was me doing all the lifting, except I was struggling immensely and barely getting by. Nonno never let the stress get to him, whereas I was an anxious ball of nerves that snapped at people and lashed out; it was a defensive mechanism of mine that I had developed from a young age. I was used to not being the favourite, so any attention that I did receive was met with hostility.

It was a wonder why I had been employed at a pizza place, where I was forced to speak and be social with people. Unfortunately, it was the only place hiring inexperienced workers. Nonno used to date the owner's mother way back, so there wasn't much of a problem in getting the job. Oh no, the difficulty was in mustering just the right amount of motivation and sanity to keep it.

I did all kinds of things at "Catty-Cabbie's Pizzeria". The previous owner's son, Heracles, was a lazy fuck who slept all day and shouldered all his responsibility onto his employees. There weren't many employees in the first place, as no one lasted after the first week. Heracles also couldn't be bothered to conduct interviews with people, since he knew that I came in to work nearly every day anyway.

Originally, I was only supposed to be a cashier and phone's person, but that had quickly morphed into me becoming the occasional driver and cook.

I had spent the early morning hours before the store opened to cook several pizzas to put in the slices oven on display. On top of that, I swept, mopped, and wiped down all the counters, fridges, and freezers in the kitchen, finding the occasional cat hair.

Heracles kept his cats in the backroom, but cat hair had a knack for getting everywhere. I would never understand how this business was still running. If I quit, the place simply wouldn't be operational. Health inspectors would be leaping at the chance to shut it down; if that was the case, I would happily join them…

That is, if I ever won the lottery and was able to leave this hellhole without being financially reliant on the shitty paycheck it gave me every two weeks.

Sigh.

After taking several phone orders, cooking and preparing the respective orders, and calling in a new part-time driver to deliver the food, as Heracles had forgotten to schedule in someone, I was eventually able to take a brief lunch break at noon.

I had just taken out a sprite from the back fridge when the bell at the front of the pizzeria rang, announcing the arrival of one of my regulars.

I sighed, placing my soda can on the counter. I nearly slammed it, but refrained from doing so. Only two more hours and I would be able to go home and relax. Also, I had to be nice if I wanted any tips. I hated ass-kissing, but it's the only thing that pays the bills when you're working in any service-related industry.

Alfred came strolling in with an infuriating, sunny smile on his face, humming some dumbass tune under his breath. His blond hair was sticking up and was far nappier than it should have been given the formal blouse and dress pants he was required to wear for his job as a waiter/ host.

The dumbass American worked at a restaurant down the road, and came here every day for a slice of pizza, as the cheap pricing was perhaps our only redeemable feature.

"Catty-Cabbie's Pizzeria, how may I help you?" I droned in a bored tone.

Alfred stopped before the front counter, grabbing his chin to feign contemplation. "Hmmm," he mused, looking up at the menu that he had already seen hundreds of times. His cerulean blues eyes sparkled at the diabetic list of options on display.

Seriously, what the fuck is a poutine pizza and why the hell does it even exist?

Stupid North Americans, ruining every possible food with grease, french fries, and ketchup. Ugh.

"You look tired my dude, Romano," Alfred commented, his voice unreasonably loud, sounding like a bark. He was used to shouting, given how busy his workplace was. "I'll take it easy on you. What would the chef recommend?" he asked.

I bit my tongue. Recommending the 'go fuck yourself special' was a sure way of getting fired.

It bothered me how social Alfred was. Just order your food and get the hell out. I didn't need nor did I want to have a full-fledged conversation with a customer. Of course, that didn't stop Alfred from offering to get me a job at where he worked, as the pay was higher. I refused only because I knew his restaurant was extremely popular, and preferred to limit my social interactions.

It was exhausting for me to talk to people.

I inhaled sharply. Patience, young Romano. He's just trying to be nice, grating and loud as he may be.

"Just order whatever the hell you want, Alfred," I groaned. "We both know that you're just trying to humour me, and I'm not having any of it."

Alfred winced. "Rough day?" he asked me softly, his expression offering something akin to sympathy. For some reason, he had taken it upon himself to look after me like an older brother. The bastard was only 21, and still made reckless decisions, so he had no business mentoring me. Hell, just yesterday, he had gotten bitch-slapped for whistling at an elderly woman.

That was one instance where treating all people equally didn't work out.

I solemnly nodded. "Mhhhm. Heracles hasn't woken up yet, so I've been doing everything today. So, what can I get for you?"

"That sucks man," Alfred pursed his lips before glancing over at the slices oven on the right-side of the counter. "You don't have any meat-lovers slices today, do you?"

"No," I stifled an eye roll. Other than sausage, why the hell would you put meat on a slice of pizza? Also, what sorry prick ate one slice? When you eat pizza, it's go big or go home. In Italia, you have a whole pizza to yourself, not this half-assing bull-shit.

"It's either pepperoni or cheese for slices," I replied. "Unless you want to order a pizza."

"All right," Alfred grinned. "I'll have a small Hawaiian then."

"Shit," I faltered. "I'll be right back, I just have to check something."

I left a stunned Alfred and sprinted into the kitchen. When I didn't find any canned pineapple slices in the walk-in fridge, I had no choice but to wake up Heracles from his dumbass slumber.

This was typical bad luck for me. I hadn't bothered to cut up any pineapples for toppings, since hardly any one ever ordered it – for a good reason too, mind you.

I found Heracles in the backroom, curled up on his leather swivel chair in front of his desk, the desk where he neglected his piling debt and financial paper work. Rather than a spreadsheet on his computer screen, there was a paused 'meowing kitties' compilation video. Several cats of all breeds were lying on pillows and cat beds on the floor, glowing eyes staring at me creepily.

I cleared my throat. "Heracles, do we have any cans of pineapple slices in the attic?"

Since I was still under 18, I wasn't allowed to go in the attic, for safety reasons.

The attic was where we stored our extra ingredients. We didn't have many extra ingredients, since Heracles hardly did inventory, let alone bothered to go grocery shopping or have a company do it for him regularly.

Heracles mumbled in his sleep, waving a lazy hand at me. He opened one eye, revealing a puffy chartreuse iris. "No, just use the litre of pineapple juice we use to make soda," he whispered.

"The fuck?" I spluttered. The Greek was too fatigued to notice anyhow. "The customer is obviously going to notice that their topping is missing."

"No, they won't. Just say that we put the topping underneath the cheese or that it melted or something. Relax, little Mano, you sound like you could use a nap," Heracles drawled.

"I can't take a nap because I'm too busy running your shitty business!" I snarled.

Heracles had already fallen asleep again, mumbling something about "bomping cute kitties on the nose."

Whatever. His business could burn in flames for all I cared. The only time he was ever active was when our competitor across the street visited, some Turkish jerk who ran a kebab joint.

Heracles flipped out when Sadiq had offered me a job at his own restaurant. It was the one time where I had seen the Greek lose his cool.

I nearly tripped on a cat on my way out of the back room. The little bitch had the audacity to meow at me indignantly, as if it was my fault for moving and not letting it rub against my leg. My fucking apologies.

Obviously, since I'm not an complete asshole, I told Alfred that we were out of pineapple pizza. Unlike most customers, who for whatever reason thought it was socially acceptable to talk down to fast-food employees, Alfred was kind and patient with me.

He ordered a small pepperoni pizza instead.

A half hour passed as I waited for the pizza to cook. Alfred passed the time by showing me pictures of his and his brother's dog. I could care less, but he honestly wasn't that bad of a guy to talk to if he wasn't shouting in your face all the time.

I drew the line when he reached over to ruffle my hair though. The curl, bastard! Watch the curl!

Thankfully, the ding of the oven's timer rang off, saving me from having to explain to him why my curl was so sensitive, er, si, let's just leave it at that. Why? Because I said so, you nosy fucks!

"How much do I owe you?" Alfred smiled, pulling out his wallet.

I began to ring him up.

"$10.50, but because there was a delay, I'll give it to you at half price," I sighed, plugging in the discount button on the cash register.

"Yo, aren't you going to get in trouble for that?"

My glare answered his question.

I slid Alfred's pizza box over the counter once I was done with the transaction. "Take care," I leered in a miserable attempt to smile.

Alfred chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

 **DING!**

A small girl with blond pigtails walked into the restaurant. I immediately recognized the pink dress and shy green eyes. "Ciao, bella~!"

My voice took on an unnatural cheerful tone.

Lily gave me a shy wave, her cheeks flushing a faint pink. God, she was adorable, but in a little sister type of way.

Alfred scoffed from the napkin station. "Why are you always so nice to girls but not me?" he pouted.

"Because I can stand them," I answered through gritted teeth, speaking low enough so that Lily didn't hear me. "They're not loud and moronic like you. They also don't chew with their mouths open."

"Whatever, little dude," Alfred smirked, walking over to me again to place five dollars on the counter. "Here's your tip, don't spend it all in one place," he winked.

Alfred leaned over to whisper while Lily patiently waited in line. "We're still hiring, ya know. It gets busy this time of year. You won't even have to deal with people, since you have kitchen experience. I'd be happy to put in a good word for you."

I let out a snort. "Goodbye, Alfred."

Alfred shrugged, waving over his shoulder. "Your choice. Our door's always open."

The American then muttered under his breath. "One day that kid's stubbornness is going to get him into trouble…"

Lily walked up to the counter, nervously fidgeting with her hands. I put on my classic charm, one that I only reserved for polite ladies like her.

She was also a regular customer, but usually she came in with her older brother who worked as an accountant in a nearby firm. Thankfully, it was just her today, so that meant I would be getting a decent tip. Lilly wasn't nearly as stingy as Vash was, even if she was using his money.

Turns out, I was right, locking in another five-dollar tip. I made a mental note to myself to pick up some pastries for Felicia from our neighborhood's Belgium-Dutch bakery before I got home. I knew the owner there – I had even had a crush on her when I was younger – and it was always guaranteed that she would give me a discount.

Bella knew how much Feli adored sweets. She also knew that we had been having a rough time lately, and occasionally stopped by at our apartment to give us free treats in condolence for our recent loss. Don't tell her older brother Tim that, though. That tall and scary blunt bastard was the reason I had never bothered to apply there in the first place. Fuck, that guy was intimidating.

I still had another hour and a half before my shift ended. I spent the time staring at the ceiling, counting the seconds until freedom. This was the rare time where I wished to have customers, as it kept me busy and made my shift go by faster.

 **DING!**

Felicia skipped into the pizzeria, her face alight with excitement. Her hair was in its usual braid, although it was messier since I hadn't done it for her. She was wearing a pink skirt that was way too short for a girl her age to be wearing and a cream t-shirt. Nonno sure loved to spoil her with clothes back when he was alive…

I put aside my irritation for the meantime, instead choosing to feel happy for her. A pleasant surge of warmth filled my stomach when I noticed that she was smiling. Si, actually smiling. That's two days in a row now, oh my fuck, bless the lord or lords or whatever the hell else that's up there watching out for her.

"Felicia?" I called to her in question. "What are you doing here? I'm not off until two?"

"I wanted to tell you something!" Felicia squealed, hurrying over to the counter.

I furrowed my eyebrows, crossing my arms. "Annnnnd?"

"I made the team! Well, it hasn't been posted officially, but Isabel told me that she's already decided on what position I'm going to play! You're looking at our school's next top striker!" Felicia proudly declared, warm brown eyes wide with determination.

"What did I say?" I smirked. "It only took one try-out for them to figure out just how amazing you are. Congratulations!"

I raised my hand for a high-five. When Felicia reached out to reciprocate, I swerved my hand and reached out to pinch her cheek instead. She was so easy to tease.

Felicia scowled at me, which only made her look like a mildly agitated chipmunk. "Roma, you're embarrassing me," she mumbled with a huff. "I'm not a bambina anymore. Oh, and thank you. I still want you to come to my try-outs, ve. Isabel said you can play too when we're not doing drills."

"Really, because I still catch you getting lost on the way up to our apartment. If that doesn't spell naivety, I don't know what will," I joked. "And si, si, I'll come. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't? No guarantees on me playing though."

"Hmmmph!"

I let go of Felicia's face, backing away in surrender. "Ouch. For a second there, I thought I was looking in a mirror. You've really improved on your glare. Now I'm proud of you for two things."

Felicia rubbed at her sore cheek.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her. "When did you wake up? Did you remember to unplug your hair straightener?"

"No, I had breakfast at the bakery. I woke up at nine, and I don't even use the hair straightener anymore. You put it on a shelf I can't reach!" Felicia countered.

"That's because you almost burnt down the entire apartment building," I deadpanned.

"There was a squirrel on the balcony! I couldn't just not watch it! It was too cute! And then, I sort of kind of maybe forgot about doing my hair because I was too busy sketching it…"

"Oh, for the love of god!" I relented, slapping at my forehead. "Anyway, I have to get back to work. I'll see you at home, okay? We'll have a nice dinner, and if you want, I'll even let us rent a movie."

Instead of getting excited like I expected her to, Felicia avoided eye contact.

"Feli?" I asked. "What's wrong? There's something you're not telling me."

"Well, I was wondering. Do you think I could have a friend over tonight? We won't be loud or anything, and we'll only stay in my room if you want! Ve, I know you don't like being around unfamiliar people," Felicia blurted out.

My shoulders slumped. I tried not to look visibly disappointed. The worried expression on Felicia's face told me that I had failed to do so. "I guess so…" I said, my tone uncertain.

"Roma?" Felicia started.

I waved my hand at her. "No, no, I'm fine. Sorry, you just haven't had anyone over for so long. I'm happy that you are now, go for it. They won't be unfamiliar for long if I can help it. Any friend of yours I want to meet too," I said firmly.

Truth is, I wanted to spend some time with Felicia today. Now I would have to put up with a guest at the house, where I would inevitably act awkward and likely hole myself up in my room the whole time. Fuck… I didn't have a room anymore. I slept in the living room like a bum.

What kind of cluster fuck have I just willingly agreed to?

A wide grin broke out onto Felicia's face, sending a tremor of contradictory relief up my spine. "Thank you so much! I can't wait until tonight!"

"Any time. Whatever makes you happy, Feli," I forced a faint smile on my face, despite feeling like crying for no good reason on the inside. Sometimes I could be selfish and petty like this. I wanted Felicia to make friends with other people, but now that she was, I suddenly felt possessive.

On top of being my sister, she was my best friend. I didn't want to lose her, but knew that it was the right thing to let her go and experience the world more, even if it wasn't always with me by her side.

"See you later!" Felicia trilled.

"Mhhhmmm," I said, waving back at her.

Once Felicia was gone, I was surprised to realize that the smile on my face hadn't wavered. I was genuinely happy that Felicia's mood was improving, regardless of how poor my own mood was.

"Ack!" I fell forward when Heracles slumped an elbow over my shoulder, causing my knees to buckle as well.

"You're smiling," Heracles remarked. "It looks good on your face. You should do it more. It suits you."

I felt my face flush involuntarily. "W-what's it to you?" I stuttered. "And why the hell aren't you sleeping?"

"You weren't yelling," Heracles answered. "I got worried."

"Don't give me that excuse. It's because there's no customers around, isn't it?" I bitterly spat. Lazy good for nothing twenty-something bastard.

"That too," Heracles chuckled. "In all honesty, I worry about you, Romano. A kid your age shouldn't be so stressed all the time. Take the time to enjoy the small treasures in life. You can grow up later."

"I find it hard to take this advice from someone who sleeps like it's an Olympic sport."

"Okay, Mr. Grumpy Man. Looks like someone needs a kitty to cheer him up."

"The fuck I do! Chigi! Get that ball-licking furball away from me!"

I'll repeat myself again. It's a miracle this idiot's business was still running.

…

I came home at three, surprised to hear another voice on the other end of door. Looks like Feli's friend was already over. Because it sounded female, a sense of dread filled in the pit of my stomach. What if it was that crazy demon chick in the apartment building across from us? And what if she had brought that creepy, emotionless brother of hers? Ugh, just ugh. I so did not have to deal with either of those potato siblings – 'potato' because they were very clearly German, duh.

Seriously. I didn't like how that 'Lud' guy looked at Felicia. It was unnerving how soft his expression became from its previous stoic, 'I'm-shitting-a-brick' counterpart. If I could help it, those two wouldn't be hanging around each other without me as a chaperone. It was for this reason that I was willing to lose sleep if it meant going to everyone of Felicia's football practices.

She was too young to date, period. I don't give a flipping fuck if all she had to say when she got home yesterday was "Luddy this" or "Luddy that." Felicia was naïve, and that smooth-haired fucker was likely just trying to get into her pants.

*Shudder*

I prepared myself for the inevitable, curling my lip and squaring my shoulders. The height and weight difference between me and that potato underling meant nothing. I knew how to fight my way to the top; when he was younger, Nonno used to be part of the mafia. He had taught me a few things. If there was one thing I could do to respect his legacy, it was protecting Felicia from no-good perverts who would only take advantage of her.

I opened the door and stomped into the apartment, purposefully being loud to set the mood, a dominating one. I heard giggling in the living room.

I shoved off my shoes, kicking them for good measure.

My rugged posture dissipated when I realized that the potato wonder fuck wasn't present in the apartment. The bathroom door was open, so he wasn't there either.

Rather than relaxing, I froze when I spotted that Spanish girl from yesterday sitting with Felicia on the living room couch – which I slept on, as it was a pull-out – watching videos or some kind of movie on our shared laptop.

My heartrate quickened, but thankfully the two girls hadn't noticed me standing there in the hallway, eyes bugged out like a complete fucking idiot.

Felicia was grinning from ear to ear, pointing at the screen, only to erupt in another fit of giggles. The sight of it would have caused me to smile, but right now I was far too nervous to feel anything other than sheer anxiousness.

Isabel, or Isa as Felicia had fondly referred to her as, was sitting cross-legged, her fit elegant legs dainty in the tight denim skinny jeans she was wearing. She was also wearing a loose red spaghetti top and had her long brown curls hanging free half-way down her back, whereas the right side of her face was covered by a thick layer of bangs. Her green eyes were kind as she laughed at whatever Feli had pointed out, tanned cheeks pink from exertion.

Fuck, she was gorgeous.

I had noticed that yesterday when sitting on the bleachers, but this was the second time I got to see her up-close. She was just so… how do I put it?... Sure of her movements. When she was on the field, she tamed the ground at her feet; she controlled the game and was decisive, strong… calculated. When she had spoken to me, it sent chills down my spine from how powerful and commanding her voice was; she was a leader, the team's captain and role-model.

Isabel was everything I wanted to be back when I had played football. I had talent, but lacked confidence, which made my foot movements faulty and unsure. Her lack of fear and familiarity on the pitch was what I had aspired to be, but never achieved.

But now, she was just so ditsy and cheerful-looking. She was like an older version of Felicia. I trusted her, but was also very wary to approach her. I knew I would act like a total moron in front of her. It was easy to flirt with attractive girls, but speaking to one that I was actually attracted to was an entirely different story.

Besides, I don't think Felicia would appreciate me flirting with her friend anyway. Ha, as if I would be able to flirt with her. I was already swallowing a giant lump in my throat, trying to control my breathing.

I intended to walk into the kitchen and hopefully go unnoticed. Unfortunately, our kitchen was open, and was constructed so that the counter and barstools on the other end of it looked into the living room.

Felicia noticed me before I had even made it to the kitchen. She looked up from the laptop screen and gave me a grand wave. "Ciao, Roma! Did you have a good rest of your shift?" she asked before gesturing at Isabel. "You remember, Isabel, right? She was the one leading the try-outs yesterday!"

I shrugged. My voice felt strange, raising a pitch higher than usual. "Same old same old," I grumbled. "Heracles was sleeping, so I did all the work, although he did wake up for the last hour before I clocked off."

I paused to give Isabel a hesitant smile while also nodding to answer Feli's question. I didn't reveal my teeth, but it was pleasant enough. "Ciao," I shyly greeted, my voice hardly speaking above a whisper. "Sorry about the mess, I should clean up more in here. I'd also like to thank you for taking care of my sister yesterday."

Isabel beamed, showcasing her pearly white teeth. Her expression was so kind and warm that I had to look away to prevent myself from getting embarrassed.

"Hola! No worries! Oh! It wasn't a problem at all," Isabel chirped. "As teammates, it's important that we look after each other. More than that, we're all supposed to be great friends! It's the bonds we form that makes our gameplay stronger. As they say, the more you know your teammates, the more successful your team will be! It's all about finding out the strength's and weaknesses of each player. Hmmm. I haven't quite figured out what your weakness is, Feli! You're just really good at everything, ahahah," she broke off nervously, shy of how much she had just babbled.

I robotically nodded at her again.

Felicia pouted. "That's not true," she protested. "I'm not good at keeping my guard up. I get pushed around easily."

"Ay!" Isabel teased, grabbing hold of Felicia's cheeks. "Away, negativity, away! Don't worry, I'll teach you how to protect yourself better. It's all about how you hold your shoulders. If your feet are already firmly planted on the ground, they'll bounce right off you, no matter how big or small you are," she crooned.

Felicia humored Isabel by smiling. Only I could tell that she was slightly annoyed by having her face being held.

"Ve, okay!" Felicia agreed, politely shrugging out of Isabel's grip.

Meanwhile, I trudged into the kitchen, pulling out a box of pastries that I had purchased from the bakery nearby. I had stored them in a pizza delivery bag that I had 'borrowed' from work; it made walking home a whole lot easier.

"Feli?" I called out, making sure that my back was turned so that I wasn't facing the living room. "Do you want a pastry? I stopped at Bella's on my way home."

I opened the pastry box on top of the counter beside the oven, taking one for myself.

Felicia leapt up from her seat and was hovering in the kitchen in no time. "Si, si! Graci!" she exclaimed. "Isa, do you want one?"

Isabel cleared her throat. "Ah… no thank you, I had a big breakfast today. I'm not really hungry."

Even though I wasn't looking at her, I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Big breakfast? It was three in the afternoon.

Felicia shrugged. "Your choice! More for me then."

Before Felicia could rush off to the couch again, I grabbed her wrist, forcing a handful of napkins and a bib into her opposite hand. "Don't get crumbs anywhere," I chided. "I sleep on that thing, you know."

"No one told you to sleep on that thing. You have a perfectly fine bedroom to sleep in, but you choose not to," Felicia retorted back, surprising me by how bold she was being. It must have been the company.

Felicia left before I could say anything further. Not that I would have been able to; I was stunned by how she had just snapped at me like that.

I sighed, solemnly finishing the rest of my pastry before being forced to turn around and wash my hands in the kitchen sink. As if she was waiting for this, Isabel looked up at me. "Romano?"

"S-si?" I stammered.

"I texted you earlier today. Feli told me that you were busy at work. Did you get the chance to see it?" Isabel asked, batting her lashes at me with a wry smirk on her face.

"Um, ah, no, I don't really check my phone unless it's something important…" I trailed off, faltering as I realized the implications of what I had just said.

Isabel inhaled sharply, looking like a puppy who had just been kicked in the stomach. Her green eyes were as wide as saucers. "Oh, well, I guess you already know this by now, but Feli has a spot on the team. I thought you would have liked it if I had told you first…"

Felicia waved her arms back and forth, trying to calm down her friend. "Ve, no! It's not like that! Fratello doesn't even check his texts from me! I have to call him if I want his attention!"

"Yeah!" I blurted out. Shit, this was going perfect, wasn't it?

"It's not that you're not important!" I flushed, inconveniently remembering how her name was saved with a heart on my phone; her doing, not mine. "Crap, I just don't check my phone often, all right? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings…"

Isabel's face lifted. "Okay, Romano, you didn't~! That's good to know!"

I gave Isabel a double-take. One second she looked like she was mourning the loss of a loved one, and then all of sudden she's back to being happy again? God, this girl was all over the place.

Hearing her say my name didn't exactly calm me down either.

"Isa? Why don't we continue the game, si?"

"Sure~!"

Thankfully, Felicia was there to change the topic. Lord knows how badly I needed it. It was getting hard remaining my composure in front of such a pretty girl. Not to mention that it had been a long time since I had developed a crush like this, minor as it is now.

I hadn't had the chance to think about girls with all that's happened lately. Perhaps it was merely the right timing, but I wasn't just attracted to Isabel for her physical beauty, I was also drawn in by her cheery demeanor. Seeing someone as cheerful as her gave me hope that I wouldn't always be this depressed in the future.

However, for now, I did what I always did when something either confused or startled me. I ran away and pretended to ignore the problem. I knew myself better than anyone. When I got flustered like this, I lashed out at people, often for no good reason too. If I ignored Isabel, then I wouldn't have to worry about actually hurting her feelings.

I was a self-aware asshole, remember?

Anyway, since my luck is shitty, my plan didn't exactly work out.

Unsure of what to do, since my room, aka the living room, was currently occupied, I began preparing dinner for tonight. I was using the other counter beside the fridge instead of the one facing the living room so that I wouldn't have to worry about accidentally making eye-contact with Isabel as I chopped up vegetables.

Still, that didn't stop Isabel from staring at me. I could feel her eyes on the back of my neck, her gaze intent and patient, like a child who was watching an adult go about their daily chores.

Again, it didn't help when Felicia began to brag about my cooking. "Fratello's pasta is the best. He really loves tomatoes, so he puts a lot of them in the sauce."

"How wonderful!" Isabel remarked. "We Spanish sure do love our tomatoes too." She was speaking louder in the hopes I would respond, but I pretended not to hear her.

It was only when I set the sauce to boil and simmer for a few hours that I spoke again. More like, I was spoken to the moment I turned around.

Felicia and Isabel were still watching a football match on the laptop, ogling about how good-looking the players were.

During the intermission, their conversation had somehow morphed into comparing the players' looks.

"I still think that Podolski is the best-looking," Felicia let out a dreamy sigh. I repressed a scoff and an eye-roll. What was it with her liking Germans?!

Isabel bent over, glancing at the images that Felicia had drawn up on the computer screen. "I disagree," she laughed, although it sounded like wind chimes, that's just how smooth and carefree it was. "Personally, I think that Ronaldo is the most handsome!"

"Ve!" Felicia exploded with excitement. "You're just like Roma! He thinks that too! Don't you, Roma?" she asked me as I attempted to slink out of the kitchen and hide from sight.

I spluttered, freezing mid-stride. Felicia froze, only realizing when it was too late that she had just outed me.

Isabel turned to glance at me, her expression as kind as always, but it was in her eyes where I saw slight disappointment. "You like boys?" she asked me.

My face burned. Felicia knew better than to intervene after what she had just done. She was mouthing apologies, but I wasn't paying any heed to them.

If I had been paying attention to her, I would have seen Felicia mouth "She's just like you, it's okay." I wouldn't find this out until later.

I pointedly stared at the ground. "Yeah, I'm…uh…bi."

Clap your fucking hearts out ladies and gentlemen or whatever you identify as because you've just witnessed the most pathetic coming out in the history of coming outs.

"Oh!" Isabel clapped her hands together. "That's okay! Love is a beautiful thing. It should never be constrained just because some old book says so," she stopped to get a good look at me, noticing how uncomfortable I was. "Your secret is safe with me. I'm sorry if you didn't want me to know."

I shrugged, a wave of relief washing over me. "It's all right, but I would like to keep this private. I don't really care so long as you're not going to be a prick about it. Ah, um," I stuttered.

I didn't like speaking crudely in front of girls, that is, unless they annoyed me. "It doesn't matter anyway. I find liking girls easier. Guys our age are just way too immature," I scoffed, refusing to reminisce about my first male crush.

I honestly have no idea why the fuck I just admitted that to her. Was it to make her feel better? Who the hell knows. I was overcompensating, I just didn't know the exact reason for it.

Understanding crossed over Isabel's face. Perhaps it was even sympathy. Whatever it was, I just wanted to be left alone. My stranger anxiety was getting too much to handle and I had already made an incompetent, stammering mess out of myself.

I interrupted her before she could say anything. "I'll leave you two be."

I promptly ducked into the hallway, only to realize that I had nowhere else to go but Felicia's room. Going in the bathroom for the rest of the night would be extremely weird and carried a lot of heavy, unwanted presumptions.

That's how I found myself sitting in a world of pink and fluffy stuffed animals. Several old water colours, pastel paintings, and mixed-media pieces were hung up on Felicia's bedroom walls. What bothered me was that there weren't any new ones for her to showcase. She hasn't painted for two months; it was all she used to do. Felicia brought her feelings and emotions to life by creating such vibrant imagery.

It was heartbreaking for me when I realized that depression had taken away her muse. Correction, depression had taken my little sister from me, and it was only now that I was beginning to see her crawl out of her shell again. This year was a big change for her. She had left her middle school friends behind to start somewhere fresh in the hopes that she would find happiness elsewhere. Seeing her do this was my only motivation in life…

If only I wasn't so godawful at going about it.

I had a couple of hours to pass while the sauce cooked on the stove. I could hear Felicia and Isabel giggling and talking about all kinds of stuff, but the walls muffled most of their words. A blush sprouted onto my face every time Isabel's laughter chimed from the living room. She was just so bright and lively; it amazed me.

For some reason, I found myself lying on my back, holding out my phone in front of my face. I was staring at Isabel's contact name, reading and re-reading the text she had sent me several times over. So many emojis… so happy… so cute…

I almost texted her back, but then I realized it would be fucking pointless as she was in the other room. Now that I knew she wasn't judgemental, my curiosity about her only piqued. She was perfect and that's why she was so dangerous. I couldn't get too close to her. She was better off not getting to know me.

I spent the next two hours flipping through an old sketch pad of Felicia's – the one she had on her desk for people to look at, mind you. Nostalgia crept in, and I soon found myself having to wipe tears from my eyes.

I didn't full-out cry, but I was still feeling pretty vulnerable. I hated when people saw me when I was like this, so it only gave me more reason not to leave the room. Thankfully, Felicia didn't have any pictures of Nonno in here or I would have surely started to bawl my eyes out. It was when I was alone that I let my thoughts creep past my emotional barriers, taking me hostage for the better part of the night, or day in this case.

Unfortunately, life is impatient and you still have to carry on. Dinner would be ready soon, I just had to get off my ass, show my face instead of being an introverted coward, and cook some noodles. Thing is, I didn't know if I had to make food for an extra person.

Rather than leaving the room, I caved and sent Felicia a text.

 ** _Meet me in your room, I have to ask you something._**

Felicia wasn't having any of my awkwardness. Before, she always used to push me to talk to people and be more social. Now that she was speaking more and not holing herself up in her room, that side of her was returning.

 _Just come here. Isabel's not going to bite :)_

I scoffed at her passive aggressiveness.

 ** _Just come!_**

Felicia responded immediately.

 _What am I supposed to say? You're being weird .-._

I huffed.

 ** _Just say you're going to the bathroom or something!_**

Felicia didn't answer, which meant that she had given up on arguing with me.

Thirty seconds later, she opened her bedroom door and tip-toed into the room.

"What?" Felicia asked me, lowering her voice.

I sat up from the bed, stretching my arms. "Is your friend staying over for dinner?"

"Her name is Isabel."

I grit my teeth. "Is Isabel staying over for dinner?" I corrected myself.

"I don't know."

"How do you not know?!" I growled.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Felicia hummed, brown eyes leering with a rare form of smugness. That girl knew something, but wasn't about to tell me what it was.

"No."

Felicia opened her mouth wide; I immediately knew that I was a goner. "WHAT WAS THAT, ROMA? YOU WANTED TO KNOW IF SHE'S STAYING FOR DINNER?"

"Are you crazy?!" I shouted, leaping to my feet so that I could wrap a hand over her big bratty mouth.

Felicia licked my hand, prompting me to yelp in disgust and pull away.

"Ugh! It's moments like these that makes it hard to love you," I deadpanned.

"Love what?" Isabella asked, stepping into the room.

"HOLY CRAPOLA BALLS FUCK CHIGI!" I screamed.

Meanwhile Felicia burst out laughing, clutching at her side, red-faced. "Don't worry, Isa," she chortled. "You just scared him. He frights easily."

"Eheheh," Isabel laughed nervously. "Sorry about that. I heard yelling and wanted to see if you guys were okay."

The Spaniard paused, eyes wide as she gazed at the art-work surrounding her. "Dios mio! Feli, did you make all this? It's absolutely stunning. What a lovely room!"

Felicia beamed under the praise.

"Is that why you stay in here, Romano? Because it's prettier than the other bedroom?" Isabel asked.

"Ah, um, yeah," I quickly answered, rubbing at my reddening neck. Felicia let out a relieved sigh.

"So…" I drawled, biting the inside of my cheek. "Dinner will be ready in about an hour. Will you be joining us?" I asked Isabel, willing the blood flow to my cheeks to cut off for the meantime.

Isabel fidgeted with the hair elastic wrapped around her thin wrist. "Oh, that's very sweet of you. But…" she faltered, glancing at a hole in the wall from where Felicia had opened the door too quickly. "I would hate being too much of a bother…"

I didn't like what Isabel was insinuating. Sure our apartment was crappy, and we were poor, but I still knew how to be an excellent host, damn it!

I would never let my pride be called into question. Nonno raised me better than this.

If only he had taught me how to handle my emotions better.

"You're not being a bother!" I snapped. "I just need to know if I have to fucking cook more noodles!"

Felicia shook her head while Isabel gave me an uneasy look. She knew that my fit had a lot more to it, but she was nice enough not to say anything.

I wanted to facepalm myself into oblivion. See? This is exactly why I don't allow myself to grow close to people. I only end up hurting those around me.

The awkwardness became too much for Felicia. "Ve, you'll stay right, Isa?" she pleaded, batting her lashes.

"Sure, Feli, if that's what you want…" Isabel smiled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Of course, I do!" Felicia grinned – falsely, mind you – before grabbing Isabel's arm and towing her out of the room, giving me the privacy I desperately needed to calm down.

Isabel spared me one last concerned glance, silently apologizing for something she had no right apologizing for. It wasn't her fault; it was mine for being a shitty excuse of a person.

When they left the room, an unwanted memory came to mind. It had been triggered by flipping through Feli's sketchbook again in the hopes of easing my nerves, only to find a graphite sketch of Nonno that had perfectly captured his infamous womanizing smile.

" _Why does Feli get her own room? I don't want to share one with you!"_

 _"Roma, please, don't be like this. Your sister is a girl. Girls need their privacy and space. You'll understand when you're older."_

 _A failed attempt at a consoling hug._

 _"I hate you, don't touch me!"_

 _A strained voice._

 _"Come now, you know you don't mean that."_

 _"I do! I just… I want to go home! I don't like it here! I want Mama!"_

 _"Roma, Mama's gone. I know it's hard, but you have to accept that."_

 _"GO AWAY!"_

I sat on the bed, cupping my face with my hands, thoroughly ashamed of myself.

I still hadn't changed at all.

When I was confused, I became angry.

I _always_ ended up hurting people.

…

 **Isabel's POV:**

Eheh, today was certainly going to be interesting…

After hanging out with adorable little Feli yesterday, we had become quick friends. We just clicked, you know? It was really fun! We played football in the park for countless hours before we had to call it an afternoon.

Lud had to take Gillian home early because she had eaten too many granola bars, again. He had to carry her over his back since her stomach had bloated enough to make her look pregnant. Seriously? How can a girl that small eat that much? I'll never understand.

Anyway, that left Felicia and I to our own devices. We had spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and walking around the park before eventually going home ourselves. I had already decided that I wouldn't develop feelings for her, no matter how cute and precious she was. It really did seem like Lud was fond of her, and I didn't want to intrude!

Besides, I was more interested in Felicia's older brother! He was just so dreamy and mysterious. Ah, Romano. What a sexy, lilting name. I repeated it over and over again, never getting tired of it. I imagined how smooth his accented voice was, blushing and swooning over it like a young school girl. Oh wait, I am one.

Still, I hadn't felt this way for nearly three years now...

I deserved to be happy, right? Right.

Don't get me wrong, if I wanted something, it was only a matter of time before I got it. That was perhaps my best and worst quality; I had a stubborn sort of determination that often got in the way of me making rational decisions.

I had a lot of pride, and didn't like to lose.

The chase was on. I wanted to find out more about this mysterious Romano.

It just so happened that I was best friends with his little sister. I wasn't taking advantage of her, oh no. I loved spending time with her. She was funny, sweet, and just a pleasure to talk to.

Although, there were times where she became shy for a moment before springing back with a large smile. I haven't figured out why Felicia had these sudden mood swings, but I wasn't going to push her or anything. Either way, I would be there to talk to if she needed me. I know what it's like to feel alone; I don't ever want someone to go through that, not if I can help it.

So, you can probably guess what happened. One thing led to another, and Felicia invited me to her house. We had been texting non-stop, and I hated disappointing people, so I couldn't say no. She was excited about making the team too.

Honestly, it was nice to make another friend. Felicia was a lot more intuitive than I gave her credit for. With her, I found myself spewing out my deepest secrets. Somehow the topic of my sexuality came up, and I impulsively admitted it to her, praying that I wouldn't experience any backlash or negativity.

I didn't, thankfully! In fact, it only made Felicia more excited to be my friend. I hadn't found out why until I had gone over to her apartment. Turns out I shared something in common with her brother. Although, I wasn't quite able to talk to him about it…

It was awkward at first. Romano never even answered my text, which did a number on my confidence until he explained that he didn't check his phone very often. That came as a huge relief.

Things got painful after that, though. Romano was very stiff around me. I tried making conversation with him, but he would always angle himself so that he didn't have to make eye-contact with me. To make it even worse, he texted Felicia just so he wouldn't have to ask me if I was having dinner with them.

Did he really hate me that much?

I couldn't help but wonder after he had snapped at me. I had only learned that they were living on their own today. They looked like they were struggling financially. Felicia told me that Romano worked all the time, and it broke my heart imagining how tough life must have be for them. I didn't know if they had any guardians, but I felt a need to protect them, to help them out.

My family had money, a lot of it. Unfortunately, it seemed like Romano had a lot of pride in himself as well. He hadn't taken me refusing his offer for dinner very well. It was one of the rare times I read the atmosphere and understood he didn't want to be pitied.

It's the reason I left him alone after that. He seemed scared and agitated easily. I really didn't want to make him anymore uncomfortable.

So, while Romano finished cooking the noodles and sauce for the pasta in the kitchen, I kept Felicia busy by chatting about any topic that came to mind.

Every now and then, I felt his gaze settle on me, but when I glanced back, he would turn around sharply in the opposite direction.

My nerves only increased when it was time for dinner. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten with people. My own parents were always out of town, and if Henrique or I cooked at home, we never ate at the same time.

This was going to be…difficult.

"Feli?" Romano called from the kitchen. "You can start setting the table."

Felicia closed the laptop that was resting on both of our laps. "Finally!" she exclaimed. "I'm starving. Isa, want to help me?"

"Of course~!" I forced a large smile on my face, despite feeling as if I were choking. Eating was the one time where I couldn't socialize and feel comfortable. I wasn't like my usual self, at all. I wasn't in a large group either, so I couldn't exactly distract myself…

I followed Felicia into their small kitchen, accepting the pad of napkins she handed me. Romano still had his back turned to me, intently stirring the pot of sauce on the stovetop.

Felicia grabbed cutlery while I helped with the plates.

Felicia had us sitting on the barstools, while Romano chose to stand parallel to us, by the kitchen sink. He was still keeping his distance from me, and I didn't understand why. Okay, I understood why, but that didn't mean I had to like it!

Romano looked up at me, amber eyes kind for once. "Guests first," he shyly gestured with his hand.

Swallowing heavily, I held up my plate, feeling my cheeks warm up as he began to ladle noodles onto my plate. "Tell me when to stop."

I bit my lip. He had already ladled too much, and it was only one scoop. How many calories were there in a serving of noodles? 360? And that was maybe 1.5 servings. Okay, if I was easy on the sauce, and didn't have any parmesan cheese on top, I should be fine. I wouldn't even consider having the side of garlic bread. I would feel disgusted with myself if I had anymore, so it really wasn't worth it, even if it tasted good.

"Stop!" I blurted out, causing Romano to falter. "Uh, actually, why don't I serve myself?" I chuckled nervously. "It seems a bit messy to do this over the counter."

"Um, sure?" Romano furrowed his brows.

I accepted my plate from him and skirted around the counter, entering the kitchen again. I didn't even bother to look at him or Felicia as I assessed the sauce in the pot.

I waited until Romano began to serve Felicia noodles before I started helping myself.

It was always worse when people stared.

I inhaled sharply when I realized that there were meatballs in the sauce. I hadn't even considered the possibility of those. If I took too long avoiding them, then Felicia and Romano would notice, and if they did, they would ask questions.

I quickly ladled a decent amount of sauce, wincing when I had picked up a total of five meatballs.

I wouldn't be having a morning snack tomorrow morning.

Quietly, and totally unlike my usual cheerful self, I returned to my seat and bowed my head, estimating once again how big my plate of food was. I couldn't be too sure.

I wasn't very happy with the results, but I had no choice but to eat from it.

"Isa, are you sure you don't want more?" Felicia asked, taking a large bite from her slice of garlic bread. I inhaled the scent, mentally shaking my head. It wasn't worth it. No.

"Oh, ah, I'm okay thanks," I smiled, imitating how Romano twirled the pasta around his fork. His technique was genius!

"No wonder you're so skinny," Felicia continued, sighing in longing. "You have so much self-control. I wish I had that."

 _No, you really don't. Please don't say that, it only makes me feel worse. Don't let me be your role-model here. Every day is a struggle. Every day, I'm always worried, terrified of what keeps me alive._

 _It's awful._

 _Horrible._

 _It eats at you even though you're not physically hungry._

Romano set down his fork with a loud clang. "I don't want to hear any of that non-sense!" he growled. "You're fine just the way you are, Feli. Eat as much as you want. You're healthy and beautiful: I won't have you beat yourself down like that, not under my, ah, our roof…" he trailed off.

Felicia giggled. "I know, silly. I don't mean it like that. It's just, when I eat this much pasta or junk food I get really sleepy!"

"Oh," Romano backed off, resuming eating. "That's good then. You don't seem to gain weight anyway. Just promise me you won't let things as stupid as that get to you. It's not worth it."

I couldn't have agreed more. "He's right," I added. "So many people worry about these things when it's pointless. Everyone is different, we just need to accept that. Not everyone can have a perfect body, especially when the standards are so impossible to reach in the first place. What's unhealthy, is aspiring to be something you will never be. Just be you."

Romano and Felicia both paused to give me a weird stare.

I nervously rubbed the back of my neck with a free hand. "Eheh," I giggled, anxious. "I watch a lot of modeling shows," I explained. "I really shouldn't, the messages they promote are so wrong!"

"Damn right there are," Romano agreed before pausing to furrow his eyebrows at me. "Would you like me to warm up a slice of garlic bread for you?" he asked.

"Oh!" I clumsily dropped a fork in my plate, causing pasta sauce to splash across the counter. "I'm, um, lactose and tolerant!"

"I can make a plain one if you want?" Romano offered.

"No, no!" I protested. "It's fine, really. I work out at night, so I can't have anything too heavy. I eat more during the early morning and afternoon!"

Romano looked like he wanted to say more, but I stuffed a forkful of pasta in my mouth, promptly ending that conversation.

Romano and Felicia then went about asking each other how their day went, occasionally throwing me into the conversation just to be polite. It was nice, since I didn't get to experience this much at home – even though I didn't remember most of it.

I was more focused on eating the plate of food in front of me.

When Romano finished his own food, I took full opportunity of his turned back.

Felicia was a little confused at first, but didn't have a problem with me sliding some of my food onto her plate.

All I wanted was to stop feeling guilty all the time. I simply couldn't win. If I ate, I felt guilty, but if I didn't and set a bad example for Felicia, I would feel guilty as well.

By the grace of God, Felicia didn't take eating my food the wrong way.

I was finally able to breathe when dinner was over.

I was still sitting on a barstool when Felicia excused herself to go to the washroom.

Romano was silently doing the dishes, refusing to look up at me.

As soon as the tap was shut off and he began to dry the dinner plates and cutlery, I attempted to speak to him, hoping to erase some of the awkward tension in the room.

"So!" I stuck up an index finger to the air. "Felicia tells me you used to play football too."

Romano froze. "Yeah, what's it to you?" he leered. What? Where did this foul mood come from?

He was like a completely different person when Felicia wasn't around.

I faltered. "I was just asking, you know…"

"Well stop; stop pretending that you actually give a shit about me. We both know you're only here for Feli. I've just about had enough of you patronizing me. You could have taken more food. I wouldn't have had any problem giving it to you!" he fumed.

Tears welled at my eyes. Of course, he didn't understand. How could I expect him to?

I stood up from the barstool. "I think I've overstayed my visit. It's very clear that you don't want me here. If you don't like me, I'll just leave. I was just trying to be polite. Believe it or not, I wasn't just here for Feli. I wouldn't have texted you earlier if I didn't want to become your friend too. Tell Felicia I said goodbye."

What he said had really angered me. It angered me enough to storm over to the front room.

I was just about to put on my shoes when Romano called out to me. "Wait!"

"What?" I snarled back, lowering my voice so that Felicia wouldn't hear me. "I thought we were pretending to be civil with each other?"

"Just…come here…" Romano mumbled from the kitchen, stepping out in front of the entrance. "It was wrong what I just said. I want to explain something."

Confused, I slid off my shoes and returned to my seat at the barstool. My temper was quick to flare, but just as quick to cool.

Romano was still standing in the kitchen, in front of the sink.

"Well?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Romano coughed, but didn't remove the fist from his mouth afterwards. "I'm sorry for being like that. I just can't tell if people are being genuine these days. Thing is, it's been really hard for Felicia and I lately. Our grandfather died two months ago, so she's all I have. I'm only telling you this because you were one of the first people to make her smile again. She really likes you…so I really do hope that you stick around, for her sake at least. I've just got a lot of stuff on my mind right now…"

"I'm so sorry," I apologized. Romano shrugged as if to tell me it was all right and that I didn't need to apologize.

"That's horrible," I continued. "You shouldn't have to go through this especially at our age. Felicia, uh told me that you're in the same grade as me. And, ah, that you work a lot. I wish I could say more, but there's nothing you can really do when life is unfair like this. I can only hope that things get better for you guys."

Romano solemnly nodded his head. "Si. Again, I'm embarrassed by how rude I was to you. I wasn't raised that way. I was always taught to be respectful to women, no matter what."

"That's a bit extreme. I was taught to treat others the way they treat me," I smiled, genuinely this time. I still couldn't get over how cute a flustered Romano was. His cheeks were so red. I just wanted to pinch them, ah~!

"So, we can be friends then?" I asked. "I wasn't trying to patronize you, by the way. I really do work out at night. It's the first thing I'll be doing once I get home."

That was a half lie, so I didn't feel as guilty.

"Sure," Romano flushed. "If you want."

My smile only grew wider from there. "Great!" I exclaimed. "Since we're friends now, it's time to bond. Wanna hear something interesting about me?"

Romano lowered his hand, smirking. "Why do I get the feeling you'll tell me anyway?"

I laughed. "You know me so well, and it's only been one day! Anyway, I'm bi too. I have to agree, most guys our age are really immature. It's what drew me to girls in the first place. I was…also hurt by a guy in a past relationship, but I try not to let that affect me."

"Amen, I'm sorry to hear that," Romano agreed, hazel eyes flashing, sparking with something akin to mutual exasperation. "My first crush or thing or whatever the hell you call it was with a boy too. God, he was an idiot. Oh, um, sorry, I try not to swear in front of girls."

"Don't worry about it!" I chided. "You can swear in front of me as much as you want. It's actually kind of cute!"

The surprised expression on Romano's face made me want to squeal. My nose felt like it was about to gush out blood any minute now! Wait, why was I excited about that?!

I reached over the table, closing my hand in a fist. "Bisexuals, unite!"

Romano laughed, surprising me. It was the first time I had heard him laugh, and let me tell you, it was beautiful. It was like all my problems had cleared up upon hearing it. It was so sweet and pure, like a male version of Feli. The fact that it was rare made the experience all the more better.

Romano reached over to give me a fist bump. I didn't really care how awkward he was about doing it. "You're so weird," he muttered.

"My friends tell me that a lot too! I think it adds to my charm, don't you think?" I chirped.

My foul mood from earlier was completely forgotten.

"You sure are…something…" Romano sheepishly admitted.

I accepted his blush as his own unique form of praise.

I was getting better at reading his emotions.

"Hey, I-Isa?" Romano stammered, trying out my nickname for the first time.

"Yes?" I winked, batting my eyelashes. I thoroughly enjoyed flirting with him. "That question you asked me earlier. I did use to play football. The same position as you, actually. I played keeper for the first half and then mid-fielder for the second…"

"Really?!" I exploded. "Now you have to join us at practice! I'll be so much fun! We can be a team. Come on, you have to!" I practically begged, leaning over the counter.

"S-sure," Romano pursed his lips, trying to smile but it was good enough for me. "If you want?"

"Of course, I do!" I grinned from ear to ear.

The rest of my time spent there went by in the blink of an eye.

We ended up chatting until ten PM before I had to go home. Felicia carried most of the conversation, but occasionally Romano and I would glance at each other: he blushed and I smiled. He even texted me behind Felicia's back, surprising me once again by how funny he was with his snide remarks.

He truly was precious.

I found myself feeling disappointed when it was time for me to leave.

Oh.

Did this mean I had _real_ feelings for Romano?

Oh.

Oh no.

This wasn't good.

We were both broken people.

I just didn't show it.

…

The moment Isabel left, all hell broke loose in the Vargas household.

"You sure took your sweet time in the washroom, didn't you?" Romano accused.

Felicia smirked evilly. "Ve, it's obvious you think she's cute. I was only doing you two a favor. I mean really, Nonno at least taught you how to flirt with a girl."

"What did I say about butting into my love life?!"

"You butt in mine all the time," Felicia scoffed in retort.

The buzz of a phone.

"Speaking of which," Felicia grinned.

"Wait, what the hell? Who's texting you this late at night?!"

"Luddy."

"Luddy? WHO THE FUCK IS LUDDY?"

The next moment went by in a blur. Felicia attempted to run away but was quickly tackled onto her bed, the cellphone snatched right from her hands.

It took Romano a solid five hours before he stopped frothing at the mouth from anger.

 **To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello! Here's another long chapter again. If you haven't already guessed, this story isn't going to have a large chapter count. I don't think it'll go over ten!**

 **I just thought I would clarify the ages of the characters for those who haven't read When Red Meets Violet.**

 **Gillian, Marianne, Isabel, and Romano are all Juniors – that's typically 16-17 years old and your third year in high school.**

 **Lud and Felicia are Freshmen – that's typically 14-15 years old, and your first year in high school.**

 **One last note:** **This story is based on my personal experience with an eating disorder. I don't get into graphic detail, but I must make it clear that I'm giving you every reason NOT to do or become like what I was. This applies more to later chapters – again, I won't be getting too detailed, but it's still very much there. If any of you are suffering from one right now, I'm always open to talk. Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I'm there if you need me.**

 **Thanks so much, and I'll see you guys next update (Once I go on break in December, I'll probs spoil you guys with quicker updates!)**

 **-Ella**

* * *

 **Isabel's POV:**

A week passed since I had last spoken to the 'mysterious' Romano. I saw precious little Feli all the time, as we had two practice try-outs this week, one drill-based, and the other for fitness purposes, but other than that, there was hardly any sight of the sexy, amber-eyed Italian. He came to the try-outs, but only stayed for a few minutes before having to leave for work.

I could tell this upset Felicia, but it's not like Romano had any choice, right?

He…wasn't avoiding me, was he?

Ay! Stop being so silly, Isabel! – _I mentally scolded myself_ – The world doesn't revolve around you. You're becoming cocky again.

I let out a pitiful sigh and then forced an indifferent expression on my face. I couldn't let my friends find out that I was feeling down again, even if Romano was hardly answering my texts, and when he did, they were boring and blunt answers.

I mean seriously?! Gillian tells me all the time that I'm great at making conversation, even if it's not wanted, but Romano was just so dull with his texts. It wasn't the same as the fiery, hot-headed boy I had encountered back when I had had dinner at his house.

Romano in person was interesting. Although now, he was hardly giving me an impression, let alone _anything_ to work from. Either he was a bad texter or he was a very private, closed-off person. Eheh, I was leaning more towards the latter.

On the bright side, we shared a lot of things in common! We were both goalies and bisexual! Ah…those were the only things we had in common. NO! Wait! We both liked tomatoes too!

Ah…Romano~! So cute…

A pale, manicured hand waved itself in front of my face, which made me jump unexpectedly. The disorientation of my lovestruck stupor was replaced with mild embarrassment. I looked away from the apartment window and turned to meet my friend's amused expression.

I was over at Gillian's apartment, sitting on the couch with my other best friend, Marianne. Cunning sapphire-blue eyes and red-painted lips narrowed and curled respectively, _teasingly._

"Isa, what's going on with you today, chere?" Marianne asked. "You seem a bit off."

I felt my face flush as Marianne wrapped a friendly arm over my shoulder. She was like the mother of our group when she wasn't being a 'ship-happy' matchmaker as Gillian liked to call her. "N-nothing, eheh," I chuckled nervously.

Marianne's blonde-brown hair tickled my cheeks as she leaned closer to whisper into my ear. "You have a crush on someone, don't you?" she concluded.

"What? No! W-what makes you think that?!"

Gillian poked her head outside the kitchen's entrance. "Agh! Just great! You guys are third-wheeling me again," she deadpanned.

Okay, so maybe sometimes I made out with Marianne when we got drunk at Gil's. But, it didn't mean anything, I swear! Marianne wasn't even into girls past kissing. It was just fun for her. I never took any of it seriously, and didn't see her that way at all.

It was mostly just dares anyway.

Although, she was an amazing kisser…

Sensing my uneasiness, Marianne removed her arm from my shoulder. She pulled away to get a good look at me. "I just know things like this. Your smile doesn't reach your face, and you look very bashful and confused," she mused. "C'est adorable. Ma belle, Isa. It's been so long since I've seen you take an interest in anyone. It warms my heart to see you…ah healing. So, _who_ is it?"

"I told you!" I huffed, crossing my arms. "I don't like anyone!"

Marianne glanced at me and silently communicated the universal facial expression for 'I don't believe you.'

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" Gillian protested. She stormed into the living room holding a bowl bearing an unhealthy amount of microwaved taquitos. "If you sluts are going to have a lesbo orgy, at least let me join!" she joked and plopped herself down onto the couch with an indignant huff.

Marianne immediately reached over to fondly pat Gillian's head, albeit wrinkling her nose at the disgracefully freezer-burned food the German began to greedily plough into her mouth. "Gil, if you keep eating like that, the grease is going to seep into your skin. You're already sensitive to sunlight as it is."

Gillian shrugged. "Bitch, you think I care about that?" she smirked. "Self-destructive eating habits are the best way to cope with boredom, okay? I don't have any money to do anything fun this summer; leave me be. Well, I mean, I could get a job like Lud, but fuck that, I can't be bothered to wake up that early in the morning like a total loser. So…what's this I hear about Isa having a crush on someone?"

Marianne chuckled. We were all used to Gillian's vulgarity by now. "Just look at her."

Gillian leaned over Marianne and pursed her lips. Long silver-white hair swept over her shoulder. "Yep, she's definitely into someone. She's got that dopey face that all harlequin female leads have. It's about time too. That asshole never deserved her," she paused to look up at me.

"I know I keep telling you this, girlie, but you shouldn't let him prevent you from loving who you want, or loving anyone for that matter. It's okay to put yourself out there. You _deserve_ to be happy. Believe me, not everyone is as awful as he was, and… well, still is. You just got unlucky, that's all," Gillian finished solemnly.

My shoulders sank at the reminder of Rodereich.

"Thanks, Gil," I whispered. "It means a lot. I just hope he doesn't make anyone feel as horrible as I did when I was with _him."_

I couldn't bring it upon myself to say his name out loud. I avoided him at school. I didn't want to see, hear, or talk about him. He was a shameful reminder of how foolishly naïve and trusting I had been. Back then, my happiness was real. Now, I wasn't so sure what was real and what was fake. Smiling was my defensive mechanism; perhaps it always had been, I just hadn't realized it.

"It's a little late for that now," Gillian growled. "That arsehole is trying to get close to Liza. Worst of all, she's letting him."

I felt my entire chest constrict. No. NO! Not another person for him to hurt!

Marianne sighed. "I'm sure she won't put up with him for long. You don't give the girl enough credit, Gil. She's strong; she won't tolerate him once she finds out how controlling he is. Liza likes making decisions for herself, she always has. If you keep nagging at her not to talk to Rodereich, then she's going to do the opposite. You're both stubborn; be the greater person and back off for once. She'll learn."

Liza was Gillian's best friend. She was a year younger than us, but had been friends with Gillian since kindergarten. Those two were always together; they were practically bound by the hip. That is, until near the end of sophomore year when Liza started having lunch in the music room.

I didn't know much, but judging from Gillian's tense posture, more had happened between Rodereich and Liza since June.

Gillian grumbled and stuffed two taquitos into her mouth before grudgingly nodding in agreement. "Fine, you're right, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Maybe I'll just hang out with them and make everything so awkward that they'll immediately be turned off by each other. If I try being friends with him, it'll probably freak Liza out. Ja, Ja!" she cackled evilly. "That'll work. Reverse-psychology mother fucker! Kesesesese!"

Marianne and I both ignored Gillian as she opened her laptop and began to draft a rough copy of her so-called plan to thwart Liza and Rodereich's friendship, or whatever it was. What mattered was the recognition that Rodereich was and still is a toxic person who only hurt those around him. Liza had no business being with someone like that. Then again, since we weren't as close, I had no business intervening.

There was also the small fact that I was a coward. Just the sight of Rodereich made me freeze on spot. I couldn't handle his patronizing glares. They just made me feel so…ugly, dirty, like I was at fault for our relationship's end even if it wasn't nearly the case. He was a true manipulator. Anyone was susceptible to falling for his lies.

I didn't even notice that Marianne had left the living room until she came back with a bowl of grapes in hand. When she offered me some, I immediately declined.

"Isa, darling, you've been active nearly everyday of the week," Marianne chided. "You need to eat more."

I avoided Marianne's concerned gaze. Both Marianne and Gillian suspected that I had an eating disorder, but never directly commented on it. Instead, they tried coaxing me into eating food, rather than forcing or confronting me about it.

It made things a million times worse, since I hated seeing how worried they got when they looked at me.

I was fine, they didn't have to worry.

This was exactly why I preferred eating at home. I didn't have to worry about people monitoring me.

But, since I hadn't had anything to eat this morning, I took a handful of grapes from the bowl Marianne offered. On routine, I avoided the relieved expression on her face.

Marianne nudged Gillian's shoulder, who flinched slightly and logged off from her blog.

"Isa? Would you like some breakfast now?" Gillian asked as she closed her laptop.

Since all three of us woke up late on most days, we usually got to each other's houses at around eleven in the morning. Gillian, on the other hand, was all about getting the most out of our days once we were together.

It was almost noon.

"Maybe just a slice of toast, por favor," I smiled weakly.

While Gillian set off into the kitchen, Marianne resumed with her interrogation.

I had been replying to one of Felicia's texts when Marianne snatched my phone.

"Ohonhonhon!" Marianne exclaimed. "Is this the sister of the guy you like?"

"GILLIAN!" I wailed. "You told her?!"

Gillian cackled from the kitchen. "Obviously! How could I not!? You two are so cute together. He lives right across from here too. If you thought I wouldn't take advantage of that, _boy_ , you really don't know me. If you two aren't sucking each other's faces by the end of summer then I will have failed my life-long duty as a shit-disturber."

"Don't forget moi!" Marianne snickered. "I'm the true matchmaker here."

"Of course," Gillian trilled. "We're a tag team, you whore!"

"Mon dieu, will you ever stop calling us these horrid nicknames?" Marianne deadpanned.

"What nicknames, you slimy cunt?" Gillian snorted.

Marianne and I both rolled our eyes.

"So, who is this Romano I've heard so much about?" Marianne asked, a devilish smirk on her face.

"He's um, Felicia's – the sister's – older brother. If you weren't so worried about going outside and getting your hair frizzy, you would have already met the two of them," I replied.

"Details, details," Marianne waved her hand at me. "We must all get together, non?"

"Oh! That sounds like a plan! Lud has a _huge_ crush on Felicia. This would be the perfect opportunity to get them to see each other in person again. The oaf only talks to her on FB now. He's coming up with all kind of excuses not to go to try-outs anymore…" Gillian groaned.

I laughed at this. It was true. I hadn't seen Lud all week. Since Marianne and I were over, he holed himself in his room, shy and anti-social as usual. His excuse was giving us privacy when we all knew that he was simply awful at making conversation. The only person I've ever seen him actively talk to was Felicia.

What frightened me though, was the maniacal spark in Gillian's eyes. I could handle being around Felicia, but if Gillian and Marianne got us all together in one group and Romano was there, I would probably make a complete fool out of myself.

I was always nervous when I was around him. What's more, because we had such a deep talk, I wouldn't know where to pick up after that, especially since we've barely had anything remotely interesting to say to one another.

"Aw! He's shy," Marianne cooed.

"Watch this," Gillian winked. She took out her phone after handing me my breakfast.

"Hello, Felicia?" Gillian spoke extra loudly, making sure that Lud was able to hear her from his bedroom. She was pretending to be on the phone.

Marianne and I had to stifle our laughter as we heard a loud bang and the heavy thud of feet drum against the floor.

"Yeah! It's me, Gillian! The awesome chick who taught you how to trip people when the ref isn't looking! KESESESESE! I know, right? I really _am_ a great strategist."

Marianne and I exchanged annoyed glances. Even when she was pretending, Gillian never missed an opportunity to gloat about herself.

"So," Gillian whistled. "I was wondering if you and your brother are down to hang out later? I have some friends over and we're always happy to see new faces. The more the better!... Oh? An hour you say? Perfect, I'll see you then!"

"Watch and learn, girls," Gillian whispered.

Not a second later, Lud burst out from his bedroom. His face was beet-red and he nervously raked a hand through his gel-slicked hair.

"WHAT?!" Lud exploded. "You're having more guests over? What did I say about t-telling me first? Mein gott, the apartment is a total mess. T-there's not enough food! I haven't ironed my clothes! I-I! AGH YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE, AREN'T YOU?!" he bellowed, pointing a sharp index finger at a now cackling Gillian.

"Well, duh. Someone's hot and bothered," Gillian teased. "You like that spicy little Italian, don't you?"

"I do not," Lud muttered with a grunt. His nervous facial expression indicated otherwise.

Gillian then raised her voice several octaves. "Ve, ve, ve~! Luddy, you're so handsome. Make love to me you stud of a potato!"

"WOULD YOU STOP?! FINE, I LIKE HER! BUT NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN IF YOU KEEP EMBARASSING ME, YOU CRINGE-HAPPY LUNATIC!" Lud screamed, and then stormed into the kitchen.

Marianne gasped. "What? Do my eyes beseech me?" she whispered to me. "Or is Lud actually showing emotion?"

I shrugged. "You didn't see how he acted with Felicia in person. This is nothing."

"Great, just great," Lud spat. "Now I have to clean up this dummkopf's mess," he said, aiming a disgruntled glance at the large pile of dishes in the sink.

Gillian was actually a very neat person; she just wasn't so much on top of things as Lud always was.

"Lud, chill," Gillian chided as she entered the kitchen.

"NEIN, I WILL NOT CHILL!" Lud snapped. "YOU ALWAYS DO THIS. I'M SICK OF PLAYING ALONG WITH YOUR NARCISSISTIC AGENDA. I AM NOT A TOY FOR YOU TO RELIEVE YOUR BOREDOM WITH!"

Silence swept over the room as Lud slammed/ washed the dishes. It was a miracle he hadn't broken any.

Gillian sighed dramatically, tsking at him like an estranged mother. Panic settled in when she spotted Lud placing all of her favourite cereals, granola bars, sports drinks and other junk food on the shelves of the highest cabinet in the kitchen.

"W-what are you doing? It was just a joke, bruder! Bruder _, please_! I'll suffer from sugar withdrawal! Don't do this to me! YOU M-MONSTER!" Gillian pleaded. She hopped up and down but to no avail. Lud was much taller than her.

The last thing we heard from Lud was the slam of his bedroom door, that and the sound of frantic German swearing and bangs as he rushed to get "dressed properly".

Gillian slunk out of the kitchen with a defeated expression on her face.

"So, what now?" Marianne asked. There was an unhealthy amount of excitement in her eyes.

I took a bite from my toast. "We can call them for real, I guess?" I proposed.

Gillian sprung back from her foul mood far too quickly for my liking. "Or, why don't we play a good old game of ding-dong ditch?"

I gulped.

Uh-oh.

…

 **Romano's POV** :

I worked a late shift tonight, which gave me plenty of time to sleep in just a little bit extra today. Unfortunately, falling into a deep sleep also meant that I would suffer from nightmares, or even worse, flashbacks that turned into nightmares…

 _I was sitting in my shared room with Nonno, irritated by the sound of his and Felicia's laughter echoing throughout the apartment. They were always spending time together. It was as if I didn't even exist._

 _No one ever did what_ _I_ _wanted to do._

 _It was always Felicia this, or Felicia that. I loved my sister with all my heart, don't get me wrong. It's just: naturally, I'm a petty, jealous, and spiteful person. I want attention, and my lack of self-esteem does shit all to control my anger when I'm neglected._

 _I treat any sort of attention with hostility. I know they're going to leave, so why bother?_

 _Grumbling to myself, I decide to watch a football match. The hazy feeling a person gets when they're dreaming has yet to register with me. I don't notice how fuzzy the rest of my surroundings are. I'm only focusing on my laptop._

 _I'm watching a football match._

 _I'm entranced by a particular player. I can't remember who he is. All I know is that he's beautiful._

 _I'm pausing the screen to get a better look at him, at his body, at his gorgeous face._

 _Suddenly, I'm no longer the only person in the room. Nonno is looking over my shoulder. The amber eyes that I had inherited from him are twinkling with kindness, the folds at the corners of his eyes more pronounced than usual._

 _I nearly snap at him right then and there. I_ _hated_ _sharing a room with him. It meant that I had little room for secrets. There was only one secret he didn't know about me, and I had no intentions of telling it to him either._

 _I was already rejected by them now. I simply didn't fit in. I didn't need another excuse for them to_ _hate_ _and ostracize me. Even though we weren't religious, we still came from a background which was._

 _I couldn't risk him finding out. I already_ _hated_ _myself. It didn't matter what Felicia told me._

 _I would never be accepted._

 _"What are you watching?" Nonno asked me, a wide grin stretching across his strong, stubble-covered cheeks._

 _My greatest fear becomes reality._

 _"Romano," Nonno gapes disbelievingly. "You… you're not gay, are you?"_

 _"NO!" I immediately protest. "I'm not gay! I promise! I'm not!"_

 _I'm bi, I want to tell him._

 _I don't._

 _Nonno reels back. "Then why are you looking at…that?" he sneers and points at my laptop screen._

 _I look down and scream. I don't remember clicking on that website. Why is it showing up? It was a mistake! He has to believe me!_

 _I want him to hug me. I want to be told that everything will be all right and that he loves me no matter what._

 _Instead, Nonno turns to leave the room._

 _He looks at me one last time, tears falling from his face. What was once a powerful man is weak and frail with old age. His shoulders slump and his jaw slacks as he chokes back a sob._

 _I did this to him._

 _I've always been a disappointment._

 _Nonno surprises me with what he says next. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asks. His eyes are puffy and red. "Do you not love me enough to tell me something like this? Do you think I hate you? Why did you hide this? Did you really think I would care?"_

 _"Of course, I love you!" I sob. I'm too overwhelmed with emotions to swear. "I was…I was scared."_

 _"Scared of what?"_

 _"Of telling you…"_

 _"Of telling me, what?"_

 _"That I'm…that I'm…"_

 _"…"_

 _"That I'm bi!"_

 _Nonno sighs and leaves my bedroom. I cry out and reach for him, but he leaves in a flash of blinding light. "I love you so much, Roma. I just wish you would have told me this earlier…"_

 _I begin to scream._

 _It had been so easy. Too bad I was a coward and had never gotten the chance to tell him._

"Ah!" I woke up with a start. The abrupt motion made my head spin.

On instinct, I grabbed my forehead and waited for my vision and breathing to settle before I checked the time. It was almost noon. Felicia wasn't up yet. Still, I intended to start my day without letting my nightmare get to me.

I changed clothing in the bathroom, removing my sweaty t-shirt and boxers. I had broken out into a cold-sweat. The shivers didn't seem to go away. I felt Nonno's picture in the living room watch my every move. His gaze apparently had the ability to burn through walls now.

I took a quick shower as well. By the time I was out and wiping water from my hair with a towel, Felicia had already made coffee and was sitting at the dining room table.

I didn't approve of her drinking coffee at such a young age, but once you got into the habit, it was nearly impossible to break.

Felicia could tell by my pale complexion and peculiar silence that I had just suffered from another nightmare. Rather than talking about it, she comforted me by folding me into a hug.

I silently rested my head against her shoulder and let her pet my hair. I was in a weird place. I just couldn't snap out of this rut I was in. Never before had I had a nightmare like this one. Normally, they consisted of flashbacks of Nonno's funeral and a lot crying on my part.

This time, however, my regrets had materialized. It had shocked me so bad that I had very little energy. It was only when I had gotten some food in me that I started to feel more like myself.

Felicia was sitting on the pull-out couch – which she had folded up and made in my absence – humming lightly as she hugged her knees close to her chest. We were both still groggy from waking up, so enjoying each other's company was all we could manage as we waited for the caffeine to settle in.

Numbly, I was flipping through my texts, which was something I actually had to look through for the first time. I wasn't used to maintaining relationships with people outside of my family. Talking to Isabel was nice, but I wasn't exactly the best conversationalist. I had no idea what to say; I was just so blunt and short with my answers. It was only a matter of time before she got bored with me…

I don't think I would ever get bored with her, though. She was just _so_ bright and lively. We shared _so_ much in common, it almost made me feel happy knowing that. I had been _so_ rude to her, and yet, she gave me the benefit of the doubt by allowing me to explain myself.

We were almost…friends?

I wanted to talk to her more, but I was so shy and busy all the time. It was pathetic, but sooner or later, whatever we had would probably end. I couldn't get my hopes up. All I could do was look at her texts and excessive use of smiley faces with wonder. Why me? Why interest yourself in me? I'm only going to hurt you, I'm only going to –

As if to tease me, the universe wanted to prove me wrong.

The knock on our apartment door snapped me out of my stupor. Confused and ready to murder the potential robber, I leapt onto my feet.

Felicia meekly followed after me, but rather than being frightened like she should be, she had an excited expression on her face. No one ever came to our apartment. Not unless they were invited, which _very_ rarely happened.

Sniffing like a blood hound, I inspected the door before pressing my eye close to the peephole. The first thing I saw was red eyes and white hair.

"OPEN UP, LOSER!"

I jumped back with fright and let out a surprised "Chigi!" while Felicia laughed, as if she had been expecting the company all along – go figure.

Disgruntled, I opened the door by a slight crack. The obnoxiously loud girl who lived in the apartment building across from us was standing on our front mat, grinning widely. She was wearing a baggy purple crop-top and denim capris. Her long straight white hair fell all the way down to her thin, bony hips and swung along with her erratic hand movements as she spoke.

"Hello again!" Gillian smirked. "Are you and your sister free this afternoon?"

"Si, si! We are, totally!" Felicia shouted behind me. I ignored her.

"How the hell did you get my address?!" I snapped.

Isabel poked her head over Gillian's shoulder and gave me a sheepish smile. She too was wearing loose denim capris, but had a red spaghetti shirt and brown sandals on instead. Her curly brown hair was kept up in a neat bun. "Hola, Romano. How are you? I…uh, haven't seen you in a while. I hope you don't mind us intruding?" she said hesitantly.

"Oh," I deadpanned.

Fuck, why did she have to get prettier and prettier every time I saw her?

Sighing, I opened the door. Another person I didn't know was standing beside Gillian and Isabel. Judging by the leering grin on her pale face, she was not to be trusted. She had startling blue eyes, brown-blonde hair that was kept up in a ponytail, and long, thin limbs that were accentuated by the lilac mini-skirt and tube-top she wore.

"Oh~!" the blue-eyed stranger squealed, her voice bearing a heavy French accent. "Is this the precious Italian siblings I've heard so much about? Mon dieu, they're gorgeous, both of them."

I had to restrain myself as the stranger cupped my face with both hands and inspected my appearance way too close for my liking.

"Who the hell is this?" I grit my teeth. Screw being polite to women. This chick had no sense of personal space. Respect went two ways in case you didn't know.

The stranger pulled back and stood on her tippy toes to get a better look at Felicia. "You can call me Marianne," she purred. "It's so wonderful to meet you. You're a feisty, handsome little devil, aren't you? I've reached my final conclusion!" she declared proudly. "He is an amazing partner in bed. Just look at those eyes. So smouldering and full of passion!"

"The fuck?" I muttered to myself.

"Anyways," Gillian whistled, while an apologetic-looking Isabel hoisted a pouting Marianne back several steps. "Felicia, you got my text, right chickee? We've got an entire afternoon on our hands. Let's make the most out of it!"

Felicia appeared under my right arm. I was blocking her from leaving the apartment. "Si, I did. I'd love to. Fratello, you still have a lot of time before you have to go to work. Let's hang out with them."

"Fuck no!" I blurted out, only to falter when I saw hurt flash across Isabel's face.

I cleared my throat. "Um, well, I don't know…" I trailed off.

"Let's take the little one then," Marianne suggested. "1 cute Italian is better than no cute Italians."

"What the hell is this girl on about?" I turned to Isabel incredulously.

The way Isabel's cheeks became pink nearly rivalled how rosy mine were. "I wouldn't take her too seriously. She just likes to tease," she explained. "So, will you come? It'll only be for a few hours. It'll be a lot of fun," she said, batting her lashes as she rocked back and forth on her heels, impatient and jittery.

Isabel's eyes then widened into impossibly large saucers. I felt like I was looking at a puppy.

My theory was confirmed when I agreed to her proposal. Isabel became so happy that I imagined a tail wagging between her legs. "Um, yeah, sure. Just give me a minute. I'll change into something nicer," I meekly grumbled.

"OH! This makes me so happy!" Isabel squealed. "I thought for sure you would say no! We're going to have so much fun! Thank you so much!"

I raised an eyebrow at her in question. "No problem? It's really not that big of a deal. I've been wanting to get Felicia out of the house more. If anything, I should be the one thanking you."

"Really, it's fine!" Isabel squeaked, unable to contain her excitement. God, if she smiled at me one more time, I was going to melt. This girl was just too pure for me to handle. She was the kind of person who would donate her kidney to someone she had just met at a coffee shop. That's just how selfless and kind she was.

I stepped into the apartment and ignored Gillian's catcalls from behind. What I was more concerned with was how touchy Marianne was with Felicia. I would definitely have to do something about _that_ later.

What I wanted most to see, however, was that shy smile on Isabel's face again. No, I wanted to see a confident smile on her face. The one that tamed those before her into submission when she walked on the football pitch like she owned it.

There were two sides of Isabel that I had seen: a happy one, and a shy, potentially insecure one.

Nonno raised me to make a woman feel good about herself. Even if I couldn't reciprocate for myself, I wanted to cheer up Isabel like I did with Felicia. The only problem was that I couldn't figure out what made Isabel so special to me.

My sour mood forgotten, Felicia and I joined Isabel and her two friends. We arrived at Gillian's apartment and lounged around, brainstorming ideas for something 'fun' we could all do together. Fun likely meaning stupid and idiotic if we're going by Marianne and Gillian's mischievous suggestions.

When a certain oaf decided to make his unwanted appearance, that's when I raised my guard.

Turns out I wasn't the only guy in this lunatic party.

…

Awkward was the only word to describe my predicament. Or should I say, stubbornly awkward?

When Lud left his bedroom to greet _only_ Felicia, mind you, I immediately went on the defensive. Felicia predictably began babbling to him about who knows what the fuck.

It made sense why Felicia liked him so much. Just like we were on our own, Lud and Gillian were too. Their parents had died when they were younger. The only difference was that they had financial support from their grandfather living in Germany – Felicia and I didn't have that luxury.

I honestly didn't know what Felicia saw in that deutschewipe. He was stiff and emotionless for the most part. He also blushed like an idiot after every question Felicia asked him. No, it's not the same as when I blush with Isa, fuck you.

Unlike Lud the potato douche, I had class.

I didn't just ignore everyone else in light of talking to Felicia.

Oh no. I ignored everyone. Equality, assholes. And before you ask: Romano, why were you such a depressing prick earlier today, but not now?

My smartass answer: I have priorities. And that includes making sure a certain perverted oaf doesn't try to stick his massive bear hand up my little sister's skirt. Ew. Ew. Ew. I really didn't need to imagine that, chigi!

Anyway, your favourite cockblocker and asshole extraordinaire was back to feeling angsty and emotionally unstable.

I was on the couch, purposely situated between Felicia and Lud.

Gillian, Marianne, and Isabel were standing near the kitchen. There were looking up places or landmarks we could visit without any charge.

After an hour of bickering and deliberation, we were just about forced into doing Gillian's bidding. She had had one too many bottles of blue Gatorade. The sugar was making her even crazier than usual.

Why crazy, may you ask? Because she went to the washroom, and the next thing I know, she's holding us all at gunpoint with a large water gun.

"Okay, bitches!" Gillian grinned, dangerously waggling her water gun around. "Enough of these lame-ass suggestions, they're getting us nowhere. Here's what we're really going to do. You're all going to get up and follow me to where the real fun begins."

"Nein, I'm not playing elevator roulette again," Lud snapped. "We're going to get kicked out of the building if we get caught again. I'm not looking for another apartment! Just once, I'd like to make it past six months! Is that really so hard to ask?!

Gillian cackled. "LALALALA! I don't speak boring! Can't hear you!"

Felicia turned to give the potato a confused look. "Elevator roulette?" she asked him, leaning over my lap.

Lud sighed in defeat and reluctantly stood on his feet. "Just listen to what she says. That is, unless you want to be soaked from head-to-toe. She's not lying; she wants to be given an excuse to shoot you."

"Okay, what the fuck?" I spluttered. "I'm not doing whatever this stupid-as-shit game is. I'm done. Felicia, let's go we're leaving right–!"

 **SPLASH!**

Furious, I wiped a cold stream of water from my face. "Oh, you're going to get it good, demon bitch," I growled. Demon bitch, huh? That fitted Gillian perfectly.

"Bring it, noodle dick!" Gillian taunted.

Before I could lunge forward, Isabel intercepted me. She shook her head in warning as she handed me a dishtowel to wipe my face with. "Come on," she smirked. "Let's play along, si?" she said, cocking her head towards Felicia, who despite the danger she was in, seemed to be having a good time.

"Fine," I grunted.

For Felicia.

Gillian led us out of the apartment. Since Marianne refused to get her hair wet, she was deemed as the 'dice roller', whatever the hell that meant.

When we were all gathered in the elevator, that's when Gillian gave out her instructions. Her and Marianne were standing by the button area, ensuring that no one could make a hasty escape.

"Listen well, losers because I'm not going to repeat myself again. That means you, newbies," Gillian paused to smirk at Felica and myself. "Elevator roulette is a very simple and very dangerous game. If you get caught, you lose. If you don't make it back in time, you lose too.

"I choose the floor and victim while our dice master – _Marianne_ – picks how many doors our victim has to run past. When the elevator door opens, you have until the doors close to knock on an apartment and make it back in time. Oh! We never play on the ground floor," Gillian visibly shuddered. "Our landlord has this creepy Norwegian Voodoo girlfriend who practices black magic. You _don't_ want to get on her bad side."

"Anywho, are we all clear on the rules?" Gillian didn't really give us a chance to answer. "Good, because I've been needing to piss off a lot of people. It's good for the soul. Lud, as the record-setter of this game, you're up first."

Lud rolled his eyes. "One, her name is Lucy, not Voodoo lady. And two, if Matthias catches us, _you're_ taking the blame."

"Fine, fine whatever. He's always bribable with beer, no need to be a pussy," Gillian snorted. She then closed her eyes and blindly pressed a random elevator button. "All right, floor number 13. How spoopy," she joked.

As we waited for the elevator to rise to the 13th floor, Lud tensed in preparation.

"Luddy," Felicia whimpered. "This game seems _really_ scary."

"It's okay, Feli," Lud reassured her. His facial expression softened. "I'll volunteer for you, if you want…"

Felicia quickly nodded her head.

"Uh, hold the fuck up! I'll volunteer and protect my sister myself, thank you very much!" I snarled.

Isabel snickered. "Romano, he's just being nice." I didn't hear her; there was a persistent and angry buzzing in my ear.

Marianne shed me with a worrisome wink. "You must never interfere with love, cher."

"DID THIS BITCH JUST CALL ME A CHAIR?!"

"QUIET!" Gillian bellowed. "It is time, oh slightly less awesome dice roller. Roll out your poison."

Marianne chuckled. She rolled the single dice cube in her hand. "Cinq!" she declared.

"Oh, a difficult first number indeed," Gillian mused. "Oh, and she means five," she explained to us newbies.

Lud grit his teeth.

The minute the elevator door opened, he sprinted out of it and abruptly made a sharp left. Presumably he counted five doors before knocking on one and sprinting away.

I had hoped to see the elevator doors shut on him, but the oaf was athletic and moved like a cheetah. He was back even before the elevator doors had begun to close.

Lud leaned against the elevator's back wall, panting. "I…hate…you," he wheezed, speaking directly to Gillian.

"Oh, you love me," Gillian chided, and then proceeded to point her water gun at Felicia. "All right, Felicia, you're up!"

"I VOLUNTEER AS VICTIM!" Lud and I shouted at the same time. I glared at the potato, who quickly shrunk back and took a good two steps away from me. Height or weight difference didn't matter. A good death glare was all I truly needed.

"Oh dios mio," Isabel muttered to herself.

Marianne made some snide comment that I promptly ignored.

"Tsk! Tsk!" Gillian pursed her thin lips. "Since we have _two_ volunteers, I get to pick which one goes."

"Actually, I want to do it! It looks fun, ve~!" Felicia piped in.

"What?! No!" I fumed. "I don't want you getting in trouble. Don't you even-!"

I shut up when Gillian aimed the water gun at my face. "No objections!" she shouted. "Let the chickee spread her wings."

I watched in dread as Marianne rolled the dice. "Quatre!" she declared.

"That means four," Gillian explained.

"I FUCKING KNOW THAT ALREADY!" I snapped.

"Yikes, who shit in your morning bowl of pasta?" Gillian teased.

I was too tense to respond.

Repeating the same process as before, Gillian had already blindingly picked the eleventh floor.

When the elevators door opened and Felicia sprinted out into the hallway, I could only watch helplessly. Gillian was being extra cautious by holding me at gun point, again. I was beginning to like her less and less. Um, not that I ever liked her or could totally relate to her situation or anything.

A warm hand placed itself on my shoulder. I turned to look at Isabel, who smiled at me reassuringly. She smelled nice too, unlike that French lunatic and her rose perfume. Isabel smelled like spice and something sweet, like pollen or flowers and all that other crapola.

"You know your sister better than anyone else does," Isabel told me. "She's probably the fastest runner on the team. She'll make it back in time, I just know it."

"Yeah," I agreed, pointedly looking at the ground. "True that." I was too shy to look at her directly, not when she already had such a pretty smile on her face. I couldn't bear looking at it. It made me want to smile, and that would just creep everyone out.

Felicia did in fact make it back in time. When she and Lud reached out to give each other high fives, I swiftly intervened by giving her props myself. Felicia sent me a death glare, but I wasn't having any of it. She was too young for boys, period.

I then firmly stood between Felicia and Lud and 'accidentally' elbowed the douche in the ribcage, prompting him to let out a pained grunt. "Oops, my bad," I muttered, completely unapologetic. "Just reminding you that I'm still here, watching your every move. Look at my sister like that again, and I'll tear out your eyes and feed it to the squirrels."

I spoke loud enough only for the potato to hear me. The loss of blood in his face told me that he had understood my message loud and clear.

Moving forward with the game, I was Gillian's next victim. I was ready this time, though; ready to assert my dominance as the lead male in our ragtag group of delinquents.

Gillian picked the fifth floor and Marianne rolled a three.

It had been a while since I had last sprinted like this. But, god did it ever feel good.

I left a trail of wind behind as I leapt out of the elevator and took a sharp right.

I counted three doors before pounding my fist against my selected target. High on adrenaline, I shouted: "Catch me if you can, fucker!"

As I hurdled back towards the elevator, I could hear angry shouts as my target opened their front door. "Oi! Get back here, you little brat!"

I laughed, too busy enjoying myself to realize how long it had been since I had last felt this…happy and carefree.

These feelings only intensified when I re-entered the elevator. I was immediately met with a pair of glimmering green eyes. I didn't have a chance to react before Isabel brought me into a congratulatory hug. "Wow!" Isabel exclaimed. "You were so fast!" she paused and lowered her voice. "Even faster than your sister."

 _"Roma, there will be a time when someone likes you for you and not just because your Felicia's older brother. If you keep meeting praise with hostility, it won't ever happen. You just have to be patient."_

Politely, I patted her back and returned the hug before pulling away. My cheeks were warm. I looked up at the elevator's ceiling and let out a victory cry. The moment was too glorious to let it slip away just like that. "Fuck yeah, motherfuckers! That's how it's done!"

Felicia giggled. "Finally, he's learning how to have fun again. I haven't seen him this revved up for so long."

"That's what I like to hear!" Gillian cackled.

When it was Isabel's turn to be victim, however, our smiles were quick to wane.

She had gotten floor eight with six doors to run past. It would have been fine had Isabel not had to turn around and go down a different hallway from the original one she had chosen.

"What's wrong?" Gillian called from the elevator as Isabel hurdled past us again.

"There's people in the other hallway!" Isabel's panicked voice echoed as she entered the hallway to the left. "I have to go the opposite way!"

Although the game was supposed to be sudden death, no one liked the possibility of someone losing. The implicit point was to have everyone survive just in the nick of time. We all wanted each other to win.

That's why when the elevator doors began to close, and Isabel was just within reach, I stuck out my foot without hesitation to allow the panting Spaniard to make it in in time.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside to safety. Isabel doubled over to catch her breath. "I…thought…I wouldn't…make it…in time…"

I consolingly rubbed her back on pure instinct. "It's okay," I smiled. "Did you really think we would leave you behind? We're a team. W-we're…we're friends."

Isabel straightened, grinning widely. "That we are!" she beamed. "Thanks!"

I shrugged. "Anytime."

Gillian's face became red. She was conflicted over being happy that her friend was saved, but was also angry that the rules of the game were broken. Because she was an egotistical maniac, she prioritized the latter. "Y-you cheated!"

Marianne placed a manicured hand over the raised water gun. "Leave them be, they're bonding," she cooed.

The good moods of everyone in the elevator ended when Gillian let out a surprised yelp. "Ah, shit! Someone from the ground floor just pressed the button. Everyone, act cool," she ordered and promptly hid the water gun behind her back – Lud stood beside her to help. We all did.

When we reached the ground floor, a tall man with spiky blond hair and blue eyes entered the elevator. He had a childish smirk on his face. "Gillian, Lud, Gillian and Lud's friends," he greeted smugly.

"Matthias," Gillian replied stiffly.

"Hello sir," Lud said, stiffer.

The silence was beginning to become unnerving. I've never stood so straight in my entire fucking life.

"He's our landlord," Lud whispered to a confused Felicia.

"So, Gillian, my sweet little dudette, why am I getting _several_ noise complaints on _several_ different floors. You're not playing elevator roulette again, are you?" Matthias hummed. He bent over to press his nose close to Gillian's quickly reddening face.

"Because if you are…" Matthias paused, allowing a dreadful silence to follow.

"You best expect that I'm going to join you."

Everyone took a much needed breath after that, despite the unexpected turn of events.

We weren't in trouble, far from it. The only punishment in store for us was having our asses whipped by a late twenty-something manchild. Damn. That Matthias guy sure gave us a run for our money.

Regardless, I was having so much fun that I didn't care when Heracles had called to inform me that I wasn't needed for the evening shift.

I had never even wanted to leave anyway.

…

After tiring ourselves to the point of death, we went back to Gillian's apartment, completely beaten down despite the smug grins on our faces. Not even Lud continuing to flirt with Felicia was able to damper my mood.

Felicia was happy, and for once, I wasn't just happy because she was enjoying herself. I was happy because I was enjoying myself. And fuck, did it ever feel amazing.

I impressed everyone by using my discount to order a shit ton of pizza from work. We ate so much that I'm almost sure I would never be able to eat the greasy atrocity again. Although, I said that every time, and still ended up craving it, shitty as it was in comparison to the real thing.

When it got late, I had to pick up Felicia, as she had been sitting next to Lud on the couch. She had been dangerously close to having her head fall on his shoulder. She was still fast asleep by the time we got back to our own apartment.

Isabel needed to bus home too, so once I was done putting Felicia in bed, I offered to stand outside with her at the bus-stop. I repeat, it was late – there was no way in hell I was going to let her be out on her own.

Thankfully, that crazy French bitch had already left earlier to get her precious beauty sleep, so I had more time to talk to Isabel. Gillian was already teasing us about "love at first sight." Meanwhile, I didn't know what I had with Isabel, I just knew that I liked being around her.

She was such a goofball; dorky and shy at times; bashful; kind; and could always bring a smile to my face, so much so that I had to cough frequently to hide it. It didn't help that Marianne and Gillian were constantly taking photos of Isabel and me. Supposedly, they wanted to document the progress of our friendship.

What does shipping mean, anyway? Weird.

"You really don't have to do this, you know," Isabel whispered as I quietly closed my apartment door, not wanting to wake Felicia.

"Too bad," I smirked. "I was raised better than to not escort a girl home. Standing outside a bus-stop will just have to do."

Isabel let out a dreamy sigh. "You're so cute," she giggled. "But, thank you, the sentiment is really sweet, eheh."

I blushed furiously and stammered out a pathetic thanks in response.

When we walked out of the building, the cool chill of the evening was there to greet us. Isabel was still dressed in day clothes, whereas I had grabbed my Adidas football sweater from my room before leaving.

"Here," I said, offering her my coat. "You don't have any sleeves," I trailed off shyly. "You can wear it until the bus comes."

Isabel's green eyes widened. There was amazement and child-like wonder in them. "Really, for me?"

"No, for the other girl I'm escorting to the bus stop," I teased.

"Oh, did Marianne not leave?" Isabel faltered.

"No, silly," I chuckled as I wrapped the jacket over her tiny shoulders. "It's for you."

Isabel was back to grinning again in no time. "Oh!" she blushed. "Thank you! Thank you very much! Gracias!"

Like me, when she got either excited or angry, she slipped into her native tongue. It sounded far better than when she spoke in English. It was more natural and less restrained.

I nodded my head, fondly remember how giddy she had been back at Gillian's apartment. She was just so full of life; cracking jokes; make everyone laugh from how naïve she was; grinning all the time; being supportive and sweet.

She was just a wonderful person all around.

Now that we were alone, my heartbeat quickened and refused to slowdown.

I playfully bumped shoulders with Isabel as we walked towards the bus-stop. Petty as it may be, I liked that I was a good head or so taller than her. It was nice to be the tall one for once.

I also liked how I could reveal my softer side with her. I didn't have to put up a tough act. She saw right through me, and accepted me for whichever side of Romano I decided to be; pissy – which she thought was cute – or quiet and easily embarrassed – she also thought this side of myself was cute.

I thought she was cute too. Too bad I was too much of a coward to tell her this.

"Hey," I said smugly. "You were quite the talker back there," I commented. "You ate and talked so much I almost mistook you for an Italian."

Isabel faltered. "I don't think I ate that much, did I?"

"Well, I mean, you matched me with three slices of pizza," I replied. When I noticed that she wasn't going to say anything, I bumped shoulders with her again. "Don't get me wrong, girls with large appetites are great," I trailed off.

This girl was way too tiny and bony to be worrying about what she eats.

Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had touched a nerve.

Isabel laughed. It sounded forced. "I guess I was just having a really good time," she sighed, shivering when a cool gust of wind blew in our faces. She shrugged on my jacket. I repressed a smile when the sleeves were too big for her. They flopped over her tanned hands.

"I didn't realize what I was doing. I, um, I'll work out when I get home. I usually do so anyway," Isabel vaguely muttered.

I didn't say anything. It seemed more like she was rationalizing with herself than actually speaking to me. I still didn't quite understand her. One moment she was bubbly, and the other she was nervous, perhaps even panicked.

It was best to just let the topic drop. The last thing I wanted was to wipe that beautiful smile off her face. Fuck, this girl would be the end of me.

Upon reaching the bus-stop, Isabel began to play with the over-sized sleeves of my sweater. Playing quickly took a turn for the worst when she realized their full potential as a weapon.

Even under the dim lighting of the lamppost, I could see the evil glow lurking in her eyes. "Hey, Romano?" she cooed. "You should have never given me this sweater. I'm bored waiting. Let me caress and show you my gratitude for coming all this way."

"What the hell are you going on about? ACK!" I yelped when Isabel whacked me in the face with a sleeve.

She doubled over with laughter. "Ahahah! Your face!" she wheezed. "So cute~! You looked so angry! I feel like I'm provoking a bull!"

"ISA!"

SMACK!

"STOP!"

SMACK!

"I SAID-!"

SMACK!

"Oh, you're on, Carriedo," I growled, tensing my shoulders. "C'mere! You're so dead!"

Isabel froze like a deer in the headlights.

I wasn't thinking. I was doing whatever the hell I wanted, living in the moment. I didn't have to worry about what I said or did.

I wasn't just existing…

I was living.

"A-ah! R-Romano!" Isabel stuttered. She backed away from me as I stalked forward. "It was just a joke! Have mercy por favor!"

"Not going to happen!" I cried out into the night.

Swooping in like a hawk, I grabbed Isabel by the waist and flipped her over so that her bun nearly touched the ground. She was suspended upside down, helpless to whatever I decided to do. Felicia had suffered from this fate many times. Now Isa would too.

"I'm s-sorry!" Isabel laughed, out of breath. "Put me down, please. I'm going to be sick! I really did eat too much!"

"Do you promise not to hit me again?" I demanded.

"Si, si!"

"All right…" I relented, but not before shaking Isabel's body teasingly. This prompted another wave of distressed giggles from her. "I'm putting your down now."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Isabel stood up straight. With a huff, she crossed her arms and pouted her lips. "That wasn't very nice."

"I told you," I smirked. "I'm on asshole, get used to it."

Isabel pressed her face closer to mine, so close that I could see the specks of brown freckles that peppered her face. "Really," she asked, cupping a hand over her ear. "Because all I'm hearing is a sweet, shy boy. Now as for sight," she paused, scrunching her nose and eyes. "I spy with my _beautiful_ eyes, an Italian with an _adorable_ blush."

"You're a cocky one, aren't you?" I retorted. "Fine, I spy with my little eyes, an elfish girl with a big mouth."

Isabel visibly deflated.

"Hey," I chided. "I'm not finished. I see a girl with a smile big and bright enough to cure cancer. I hear a girl who cares about her teammates, and is willing to put others first. Most ironic of all, I smell bullshit. You said the bus was supposed to be here in ten minutes twenty minutes ago."

"I didn't want you to leave," Isabel simpered.

"Idiota," I sighed. "I'm not going to leave you. You could have just told me the truth."

Isabel shrugged. "Oh well, you're here now."

"Not for long," I said, looking over her shoulder and down the road. "The bus is coming."

"Huh," Isabel whispered disappointedly. She took off my coat and handed it back to me. "Thanks for everything. I'll, um, text you later?"

"Yep. Sorry about that, though. I'm kind of new to this texting thing. I'll try not to be too boring," I apologized.

"Okay~!" Isabel nodded. "You're much more interesting and fun to be around in person. Everyone is actually. You should really stay for more of Felicia's tryout's if you can. I know you're working a lot. It's just, she perks up and plays even harder when she knows you're watching her. She really looks up to you."

"I'll try," I sighed. "I know. I want to be a good role model for her."

"You already are," Isabel said sweetly.

When she reached forward to pull me into a hug for the second time today, my heart stopped.

It was over much quicker than what I would have liked it to last.

"Bye~!"

"Y-yeah, take care. Text me when you get home safely."

"Kay~!"

Isabel stepped onto the bus and eagerly greeted the bus driver. She chose a window seat so that she could wave back at me.

She waved until she was out of sight. I couldn't stop laughing at how silly she was being. Still, that didn't stop me from waving back. I was entranced by her. I didn't want to disappoint her.

I didn't realize it at the time, but when I got home, I slept free of any nightmares. In fact, the nightmares stopped entirely.

Why?

Because I was no longer guilty all the time.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Casually drops a 13,000 word bomb chapter on your and shrugs* Yay! I have my beta reader, **Nebula Zee b** ack! Thanks for the edits Zee. Anyways, school's crazy, and all, but you guys know by now that when I update, it's well worth its weight :D This semester will be over soon, and the next one won't nearly be as hard. Updates should be a lot quicker. I intend to have this story finished by spring!

Anyways, it's my birthday and I have exams still, so I'm off :) Thanks for all the lovely support and enjoy!

-Ella

* * *

 **Romano's POV:**

I came to watch Felicia's third try-out, even if she had already made the team. I was her older brother, of course I was going to support her. I had a night shift tonight, so I was extremely groggy, and definitely grumpy, but the espresso shot I took this morning seemed to be doing its magic.

The morning air was humid and stuffy. A clean sheet of dew glistened under the morning sun, twinkling with the hope and determination of those aspiring to make the team. It was a pleasant scene, the faint trotting of cleats jogging against the pitch in numerous laps making up for the early day silence.

And then Gillian just had to ruin it all by bellowing and shrieking into her microphone like a fucking lunatic. I honestly had no idea why Isabel let Gillian go to these things; the demon did more harm than good by slapping the butts of stragglers, swearing profusely (and this is coming from me), and tripping her little brother when he wasn't looking.

Okay, I actually enjoyed seeing that asshole topple over like a deck made of cinder blocks. Served him right for ogling at my sister all the time. It didn't help that they hung out just about every day now. Obviously, I couldn't say anything, since Felicia genuinely seemed to like this guy. Although, I didn't have to like it, and that's what my thoughts were for. I reserved all pictures of glorious murder there.

Despite this, life's been good this last week or so. And I'm not just saying this because of Felicia's improvement in mood. Not to mention that yesterday I had caught her doodling on her dinner napkin – she was one step closer to painting again, I just knew it.

Ah, I'm getting off track again, aren't I? Sorry, I can't help it. There's a beautiful girl I've had my eye on for a while now, and I'm too shy to tell her. I knew if I acknowledged these feelings, it would only result in me hurting her. I'm not good with other people.

I always fuck things up because I don't know what to do when people get close. I push them away because I'm terrified of them pointing out the _many_ faults in my character. I'm my harshest critic, but it kills me when people state the obvious. Everyone was just better off keeping me at an arm's length.

Isabel deserved better anyway.

Still, I could watch. Or text, that worked too. She really liked to text. I wasn't much of one, but the girl could literally make a conversation out of anything. I could text her the word 'tomato' and she'd go on for hours about how much she loved the fruit – this actually happened.

If only I hadn't escalated things by picking her up last week. Christ! What had I been thinking? Forget it, don't answer that. I wasn't thinking. Of all times for my flirty nature to come out, it just had to when I was the least emotionally ready.

Then again, when was I ever emotionally ready? I'm an impulsive and selfish person, but I've already decided that I wasn't going to pursue Isabel. We were friends, that's it. Si, friends. Even if she was gorgeous, and made my heart flutter with excitement, and all that other girly stereotypical crap romantic experiences you see on a sub-standard mid-day soap operas.

It's also probably best to acknowledge that this past week, I've gotten much better sleep. Isabel just had a habit of making all the negativity in my life seem less important, trivial even. She was sweet and kind, and went out of her way to make me _want_ to smile, but I refrained from doing so.

She had even visited me at work yesterday just to chat on my lunch break, without Felicia mind you. That meeting had consisted of me sitting stiffly in my seat, bug-eyed as Isabel smiled and laughed and talked about who knows what. She had asked me about my day and other random questions. I guess I wasn't used to talking about these things, since I, uh, didn't have anyone to ask these things ever since Nonno's passing in May.

It was nice.

But that's all it would and could ever be.

 **SCrrrrrrreEEEEEEET!**

Isabel blew her whistle to begin another drill. The way she strode on the pitch like she owned it and everyone's else's attention was mesmerizing to watch. Her high pony tail bounced with a sense of importance, but rather than the air of a Queen, she gave off a very familial vibe. The girls she had been put in charge of were her sisters. She wanted to see them all do their best, and although she was strict in her teachings, she was patient and knew every person's limit.

Catching my gaze, Isabel turned to smile and wave at me, revealing a heart-stopping smile full of straight white teeth.

Flustered, I returned with a weak smile of my own before ducking my head. I fumbled through my phone and pretended that I was texting someone when in reality I was actually just looking over messages from a previous conversation of ours.

God spited me by having a particular text with a lot of heart emojis pop-up.

That's my life for you.

As another dribbling drill took place, Lud paced up and down the pitch with a clip-board in his inhumanely large hands. He was noting down the skill-sets of each player. When he paused to stand in front of Felicia for too large of a time, I cleared my throat and channelled my anger.

I needed to be intimidating if I wanted to set some ground rules here.

"Hey, Lud!" I bellowed in a surprisingly deep voice. You all know how loud I can be, but whenever I'm confronted with someone larger than myself, my voice tends to raise a few octaves. I wasn't a complete coward, but I could be at times. Just another wonderful trait about me, huh?

Lud paused and politely nodded his head in acknowledgement. Oh please, he was just trying to get on my good side. He wasn't fooling me. "Ja?" he replied lightly, slightly out of breath.

"Keep your eyes on the ball," I warned, cocking my head over in Felicia's general direction.

Lud swallowed heavily and nodded again, this time more curtly and stiffly, like a marionette doll being strangled by an immense pleasure to please. It gave me great pleasure when he stumbled forward to observe the next set of players.

"OH! DRAMA!" Gillian cackled into her microphone. Everyone ignored her, as per usual.

The try-out carried on for another half hour before Isabel blew her whistle.

"All right," Isabel shouted, loud enough for me to hear her all the way from the bleachers. It had such a pleasant echo, commanding, and yet inspiring. I would follow her anywhere if ordered to. She was the perfect leader – charming, charismatic, and most important of all, compassionate.

"It's the end of the try-out and you know what the means!" Isabel grinned and cupped a hand over her ear, waiting for the rest of the girls to fill in the gaps.

"World Cup!" the other girls shouted in excitement.

"That's right!" Isabel winked. "But, since this is our last official try-out before I post the final roster online, I thought we'd make this game a little more special than usual. The winning team won't have net duty for an entire month! How about that? Does that make you guys want to give it your all?"

The girls erupted in an enthusiastic chorus. Isabel was extremely talented at bringing out emotions in others.

"OH!" Gillian squeaked. The uneven rasps of her microphone made everyone wince in pain. "Since Edel finally decided to show up," she paused to smirk wickedly at a girl with a bobbed blonde ponytail and wired spectacles, "I'll sit this one out and act as commentator."

"Actually," Isabel intervened. "I was thinking that you could step in as goalie for me. I haven't gotten to play much this summer. I want to kick some butt too! You can still be a commentator, though. We all know that you can scream louder than anyone here," she teased.

Gillian appeared satisfied with that answer and didn't offer any protest.

"Who'd be your partner then?" Felicia asked softly. It was already a given that she'd be teaming up with Lud. They had done so since the beginning of the summer.

Unbeknownst to me, Isabel had already thought out this plan beforehand "Why, he's right over there…"

Confused, I looked up when Isabel came jogging over to me. Suddenly, her red cleats became far more interesting to ogle at rather than her electric green eyes that prodded into my personal comfort zone, begging for mine to meet their steady gaze.

She was just so intimate in her expressions. I couldn't handle it without letting my thoughts trail off elsewhere.

"Romano?" Isabel greeted, like a mother attempting to console and get the attention of a child with stranger-anxiety.

"Uh, y-yeah?" I cleared my throat.

Isabel took this as an invitation to come closer. She stood in front of the bench I was sitting on, which was the lowest one nearest to the gravel track wiring around the football pitch.

"You've avoided playing with us for long enough!" Isabel declared boldly. My stomach sank. Not this again. "It's about time that you join us, si?" she continued. "Enough excuses, I had Lud bring an extra set of clothes just for you, so you can't say that you're unable to participate now! We're partners in this whether you like it or not!"

"Isa," I groaned. "I've already told you. It's been so long since I've last played. I'm probably not any good."

Before I knew it, Isabel had already grabbed my wrist and was tugging me onto the side of the field. Lud opened his gym bag and held a spare jersey in his hand. The face he held made it seem as if he were offering his soul to the devil. I wasn't going to bite him, you know. I may not like him, but I could be civil, damn it.

"We won't know that until you try. Felicia wants you to do this too, and you don't want to disappoint her, right?" Isabel chimed, knowing I would be unable to give a solid rebuttal to this.

Either way, my head was still trying to process that Isabel was nearly holding my hand. Black dots spotted in my vision.

Grumbling, I wrenched the jersey from Lud. "What about shoes?" I deadpanned.

Isabel hummed and procured a spare set of cleats from her own gym bag. "I brought my brother's old pair from when he was our age. These should do," she said as she eye-balled the black sneakers I had on.

"You planned this, didn't you?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

Isabel giggled.

Lud pointed towards the gym. "The changerooms are open. Just don't go through the emergency exit or you'll set off the alarm," he instructed.

I sighed and shrugged indifferently. Meanwhile, Felicia was literally bouncing up and down. It made me wonder if Gillian had given her too much Gatorade again.

"Finally, fratello! This is going to be so much fun! Oh, and don't think that Luddy and I will go easy on you," Felicia exclaimed. "We've been practicing day and night at the park!"

Lud smiled proudly to himself.

"Watch it, Feli," I smirked and looked over my shoulder. "Don't let your pride get the best of you. You'll see for yourself what it's like to come second best for once very soon."

Felicia pouted. I didn't blame her. That had been a pretty petty jab. Being Nonno's favourite had always made her feel guilty, unnecessary as it was. I hadn't meant to say something like that, but in times of uncertainty, I had no filter and blurted out whatever came to mind.

I had no choice but to carry on. Keh, just walking into the school put me in an even sourer mood.

I changed quickly into the matching black t-shirt and shorts, waiting until I was on the field before I put on the cleats Isa had given me. I didn't have any shin-pads or socks like the others, so I would have to be extra careful not to hurt myself.

When I walked back onto the pitch, they were all waiting for the game to begin.

With the intent to shit-disturb, Gillian announced my rival. "And here he is, ladies and gents. The untouchable Casanova with a glare mean enough to kill and wet a gal's pants simultaneously! The ever grumpy, ROMANO! AHHHHH! AHHHH!" she then moved on to making weird, hoarse sounds with her throat as if to imitate a cheering crowd.

"What did I say about that megaphone?" Lud lectured Gillian, confiscating the item from her. "You're going to make everyone deaf."

Gillian's whines were near intelligible, that's just how high-pitched and scratchy they were.

"See, they all fit you very well!" Isabel pointed out.

Well? I had had to roll up the hem of the shorts several times!

Isabel ran over to grab my wrist again; she was ensuring that I wasn't going to bolt away. Truth is, if Lud hadn't confiscated the megaphone from Gillian, I would have likely lost my temper – big surprise. But, since there were a lot of girls here, most of whom were nice, I would cut back on my vulgarity.

It wasn't the same as with that French chick from last week. Thankfully, she didn't go to these type of things. Marianne had a special talent for getting on my nerves.

Point is, I treated women cordially like Nonno had taught me to, but had added my own unique spin to said philosophy. Once I got to know someone, I treated them in reciprocation to how they treated me.

For now, I had to make sure to set a good example, especially in front of a crowd of bellas so large.

Isabel let go of my wrist once we were back at the center of the field, although she kept sending me smug glances as if to say: "I've got you now, eheh!"

Yes, I had memorized Isabel's laugh so that it replayed in my head accurately without much effort on my part. It was a very distinct laugh – like the chimes of a bell except there was a hint of playfulness to it rather than just mere softness.

Some girls glanced at me shyly, presumably the younger ones, while the older ones were blunter. Particularly this one girl – Kiki, I think that's what her name was (short for Feliksa). I had heard Felicia talk about how brutal and rough the senior was with her.

"Oh, like look at him! So handsome! I definitely see the family resemblance. They're both so delicate!" Kiki gushed.

"Delicate?" I muttered to myself in confusion.

A girl with light green eyes and a long brown braid shook her head in annoyance before offering me an explanation. She gave off an impression of being very timid and sweet. "I'd be amazed, if I were you," she said, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Kiki doesn't give many compliments. She likes stealing them all for herself. The name's Tori by the way, nice to meet you."

"Romano, but I'm sure you already know that," I smiled politely.

Tori rolled her eyes as Gillian screamed at Lud for taking away her voice: "I'm asserting my agency as a strong independent woman and my voice will not be taken from me, damn it!"

"No one's stopping you from talking normally," Lud retorted as he walked off to the side of the field with Gillian quick on his heels, like a blood hound. "Continue to test my patience, and I _will_ ban you from practice. Siblings or not, you're…you're embarrassing me!" he said exasperatedly.

Gillian softened. "You really want to make a good impression on little Feli, huh?"

Lud fell silent.

"All right," Gillian filled in the gaps of her brother's stony expression. "I'll _try_ to behave."

" _Thank you_."

When the two German siblings entered the pitch again, Isabel clapped her hands. "Okay! Now that everyone's here, let's get started. Get in pairs and pick your country. Gil, you man the net. And remember! There will be no net duty for a month for the winners of this game! I want to see everyone put in their best effort!"

"Poland!" Kiki and Tori declared.

"Taiwan!" Michelle and Mei shouted.

"Estonia! "Latvia!" Edel and Rachel said at the same time. "Uh, Estonia!" Rachel corrected.

"Italy!" Felicia shouted, waggling her brow at me in challenge.

I honestly didn't care. I would much rather prefer Felicia playing as Italy than Germany.

"Back up, losers!" Gillian announced, preparing to boot the ball down the field. "This puppy is going halfway across the globe!"

All the players reciprocated, going so far as to stand behind the half-field mark.

Isabel took her position beside me. "You don't want to play as Italy?" she asked me.

"No, Feli can have it," I replied. "Besides, you never got to play as Spain yet, have you? We can do that, um, if you want."

Isabel beamed. The sight of it sent flutters and tingles all over. "I would like that very much!"

"Spain, it is, then," I grunted. I was in this game to win and needed to focus. But first, to make things more interesting, I would let Felicia and her stupid potato partner score first. It wasn't out of courtesy, oh no. I wanted the final two teams to come down between Italy and Spain.

With a dramatic holler, Gillian punted the ball down the field. It nearly made it to the opposite net. I'll give the lunatic credit where it was deserved. She was an excellent athlete. The only reason why she wasn't trying out was because she had commitment issues and got bored easily, having the attention span of a gnat.

Isabel surged forward after the ball, while I stayed back.

"Felicia steals the ball from Tori, who seriously needs to work on her footwork!" Gillian bellowed, still dedicated towards announcing the events of the game.

"The little Italian cheetah passes to Lud, who swerves around Kiki and avoids a cheap elbow to the rib-cage. Lud passes back to Felicia. Oh shit, Felicia is coming right for me. I glare at her and try to spook her out - she prepares to kick the ball and – _dissatisfied grunt_ \- she scores and screams 'Italy' victoriously.

"How unawesome. Unfortunately, my genes have failed to make me tall like my stud of a brother, who totally would make a good match for the Italian cheetah. Lud gives me an evil scowl as he walks off with the Italian cheetah. I pout because I'm a very short goalie who can't jump very high."

"'You're supposed to narrate the game, not everything you do, dummkoph' shouts Lud as he continues to glare daggers at my awesomeness from behind the net."'

Satisfied that Felicia was in the next round, I grit my teeth in preparation. Gillian grabbed the ball from the holds of the orange meshing.

Isabel abruptly grabbed me by the shoulders, knocking me out of concentration. "What was that?!" she seethed, eyes narrowed in cold slits. "Roma, you didn't even go after them!"

"I wanted to let Feli get in first," I squeaked. Isabel was smouldering from head to toe, but she accepted my answer as appropriate. I didn't know how to react; I had never seen her get angry before.

As they always say, a person in a competition is never their true self. You develop a persona. Isabel just so happened to remind me of a blood-thirsty missionary.

Lips pursed in a thin line, she opted to grab me by the front of the jersey instead. "Roma, I know you're being courteous, but this is not the time to be a gentleman! This is a game! It's brutal. And I will not lose. You will make sure we win, si?"

Danger curled around Isabel's person, clouding in the air like red hot fury.

Weakly, I nodded. I felt like I was in the presence of a beast who threatened to charge at me the moment I said or did something wrong. "Yes. There's a reason I let them in," I said wryly. "I want us to be the final two teams."

Isabel calmed down. "Oh," she smirked, roughly patting my back. "I like how you think. But _don'_ _t_ let them off so easy again. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Yes, captain." We exchanged smug glances before readying ourselves for Gillian to boot the ball down the field.

I was the first person to reach the ball. I stopped and took control of it, taking note that the other players were still several paces away. The closest one was Kiki, and she seemed to have the intention of knocking me right off my feet.

I sighed – this was it. It was time to channel all that I've learned over the years. It's been so long since I've felt the soft tap of the ball; heard the whoosh of the air when you kicked it; or smelled the earthy scent of clumped soil, paint, and the rust of the goal posts.

I clenched my fists; _Nonno, this is for you. I'm having fun. I'm letting myself relax. I hope this is what you want for me._

Everything seemed to slow down as Kiki dove in for a slide tackle. In a swift brush, I feigned the ball to the right and danced out of the way.

I picked up speed and began to dribble down the pitch, head up in search of Isabel. I swerved by Tori just as easily, leaving her behind with a satisfied chuckle.

"Wow!" Mei exclaimed as she sprinted to catch up with me. She was far behind now. "He's fast!"

"My god!" Michelle wheezed, long pigtails swinging. "His foot movements are even better than Feli's! How is that even possible?!"

My chest swelled with pride I had long forgotten.

"Roma!" Isabel screamed, sprinting parallel to me on the pitch. "Over here!"

I immediately passed the ball to her and made a beeline for the net. We didn't have to communicate anything; we had both seen and done enough gameplay to know what happened next.

Isabel dribbled to the far corner, and then kicked the ball high in the air. It fell down in a smooth, languid arc. I met the ball at the far-left goalpost and headbutted it into the net.

"SPAIN!" Isabel called out.

"Using his stubborn head, Romano scores! I let him, though!" Gillian jealously crossed her arms. "Hell if I'm going to jump that high and risk stretching a muscle."

Isabel bounded over and joined me as I sat next to Felicia and Lud behind the net, where we waited for the next round to start.

"Great job!" Isabel commended. We gave each other high-fives, still out of breath from all the running we had just done.

"Nice job, Roma," Felicia smiled sweetly, patting me on the back. "Just remember that the real game starts when you face off against us."

Lud straightened his posture, if that was even possible. "Don't fraternize with the enemy, Feli. We can save the formalities for when they have to shake our hands with the weight of defeat resting on their shoulders," he said stiffly.

I didn't have to say anything. Isabel had it all under control.

Isabel leaned over to glare at Lud. "Hahaha!" she laughed, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. "We'll see how confident you are once we rub that smugness of yours into the ground. Remember that time you faceplanted after trying to slide tackle me? Ha! As if you're fast enough to catch up to me… and Roma too! We won't spare you any mercy – this game is ours Beilschmidt. The only benefit I'll give you is a quick defeat."

Felicia smirked. "Don't listen to her, Luddy. We've got this, trust me."

"Hmmph!"

"On the contrary, Isa. Let them boast. They needed all the confidence they can get, pointless as it is," I leered, waggling a teasing finger at Felicia, who stuck out her tongue at me.

For the sake of the game, the Spain and Italy teams refused to converse any further. Actions spoke more than words, and winning was what Isa and I intended to do.

We were a good team. I dribbled and ran, and she scored most of our points, although I got a goal here and there too.

The last round came before we knew it.

The previous round before had been a mix of Italy or Spain scoring first. But now, it was all down to Italy and Spain.

Isabel and Felicia waited at the half-field line, whereas Lud and I sprinted after the ball. He was in hot pursuit and I was several paces ahead of him.

 _Suck on this, kraut_ – I allowed a shy grin on my face, waiting for Lud to come closer so I could make a fool out of him by dribbling to the side.

Except that didn't happen.

Lud slide tackled me, sending us both down in an awkward scramble on the ground.

"Fucking bastard," I swore under my breath.

Lud revealed a sly expression before getting up and dribbling ahead, face now set as strict as a drill sergeant. "Feli, get in position," he commanded.

Felicia was a little occupied in a battle of shoulders and shoves with Isabel, who wasn't backing down in the slightest. Their tight friendship meant nothing here.

Before he could send the ball ahead to Felicia, I returned Lud's asshole behaviour by slide-tackling him back.

CLUNK!

"AHA!" I cried out. "Not so smug now, are we?"

"Ungh!" Lud groaned, head rattled from the harsh fall. The rule was that you had to get the ball first while slide-tackling – you couldn't go for a person's legs.

"Isa, get open!" Ball now at my feet, I punted it a few paces ahead of me, wanting to clear a lot of distance with each kick.

I had to stop when Felicia beat Isabel to the punch. She met me halfway, feet crouched and ready to anticipate my next move.

Felicia's lips curled into a vengeful sneer. Her brown eyes communicated a lust for avenging her fallen partner.

"UH-OH! A SIBLING SHOW DOWN!" Gillian yelled in amusement.

"Whatcha going to do Feli?" I teased, stopping the ball at my feet. "Go right? Oops!" I swerved to the left.

Felicia lagged a few paces behind, but caught up just as easily. "AH-AH-AH!" I provoked her again, dodging her attempt to steal the ball from me. "Haven't you heard the saying: brother knows best?"

Much to Felicia's fury, I began to juggle the ball in the air, balancing it with my thighs and the tip of my foot. "Tch! Tch! You're still rusty next to me, even after all the extra practice you've had."

"OH NO, ISA FELL!" Felicia exclaimed.

"WHAT?!"

 **WHIP!**

Wind blew past my ear as Felicia stole the ball from me and took off towards the net.

"OH, YOU'RE SO DEAD, MISSY!" I screamed after Felicia. I received laughter in response. So did the rest of our audience, who thought Felicia tricking me was worthy snapchat material.

Gillian began to panic about having her precious face ruined –Felicia kicked the ball quite hard for her size.

Felicia wound her foot to kick the ball, but never made contact with it.

Like a bull, Isabel came sprinting out of nowhere. She took the ball for herself and made a swift circular movement to put herself out of Felicia's immediate path.

Lud scrambled after her, but ended up committing too much energy. He looked like a fool as he dove to the right and missed Isabel entirely.

Isabel was now only a few feet away from the net. The game was in our hands. If she scored, we would win.

"SHOOT! SHOOT!" I screamed.

Isabel's tongue waggled out of her mouth in concentration. Her feet thundered against the grass-bed as she was just approaching the edges of the penalty box.

"Well, folks, it was a nice life while it lasted," Gillian sighed. "Here, I die. Death by ball."

In a swift kick, Isabel sent the ball flying into the air. It flew and continued to soar higher and higher into the air much to everyone's panic. It was well over the net now. In fact, it was heading straight for the parking lot.

 **CRASH!**

The ball collided head first with the windshield of someone's truck, setting off its alarm.

Every froze, unsure of what to do.

"Fuck," Gillian bluntly said what everyone was thinking.

Isabel stopped, cheeks coated in crimson. "Well," she muttered sheepishly. "I guess I got too excited… looks like no one wins…"

"What do we do?!" Gillian screeched. "Oh man! Oh man! You dented the front bumper!"

There were probably much more responsible things to do, such as waiting for the owner of the truck to get there so that we could get his insurance and pay for the damages.

Unfortunately, Gillian had the brilliant suggestion to run away, and since mob mentality wins in times of uncertainty, we all followed. "Everyone quick! Into the school. Retreat! Retreat! Grab everything you can!"

Gillian then proceeded to grab Rachel and throw the small, stammering Latvian over her shoulders. "Don't worry, chickee. I got you!"

"Well, don't just stand there! Let's go!" Isabel shrieked. "Everyone inside. Take down the nets! Get the bottles! Get the ball bag! Get a freshman, heck I don't know! Ay! I messed up really, really bad!"

Lud and Felicia rushed to take down the net, the former muttering about how ludicrous and irresponsible we were all acting. No one cared.

I helped Isabel with the water bottles and medic kit, while Tori grabbed the ball bag next to me.

We eventually poured into the gymnasium's front area like wasps fleeing from smoke, gasping for breath.

Isabel awkwardly offered me a water bottle. "I drank from it, but you can waterfall if you want…"

I accepted it from her gratuitously, pouring the stream of water into my mouth. It was glorious.

"That was close!" Kiki huffed and slumped to the ground. "Tori, I'm going to need you to carry me home. I can't sweat anymore. It'll give me dandruff."

"Carry yourself," Tori snapped. "I'm not your personal pony."

"You had no problem carrying me in here," Kiki murmured through pouted lips.

Gillian poked her head out through the doors in front of the gym. "I don't think the owner will be coming out for a while. If we go home now, we'll be fine."

"Tell me again, why I agreed to this?" Lud sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oh hush," Gillian chided. "The dent isn't even that big. You can probably pop it right back up with enough pressure."

"That's not the point!"

Isabel cleared her throat, garnering everyone's attention. "Well, rough endings aside, that concludes today's try-out! I'll post the team online on our Facebook page this Friday. If you didn't make it, feel free to still come to practice to improve your skills. Have a great day everyone! Take care!"

With that said, we all piled into the locker rooms to get changed.

I refused to share a locker room with Lud, so I went to the nearest washroom instead. Great, just great. Now I would have to wash his uniform and give him something as a form of thanks.

My pride refused to have it any other way.

…

 **Isabel's POV:**

Things seemed to be okay, and by okay, I mean no one's stormed into the school screaming bloody murder after us 'brats'. Believe it or not, this isn't the first time that I've damaged a vehicle playing football.

I was the last one in the change room. Everyone thought I was inspecting the place, making sure that no one had left anything behind as it was my responsibility to lock up the place afterwards.

In truth, I still wasn't comfortable changing in front of people. Even now, as I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. My ribs were sticking out slightly, my wrists were bony, and my thighs should be much thicker than what they were now.

I sighed and tried to retain my composure. How many times would I slip up before I finally got rid of this disease? Because that's what an eating disorder was; a disease of the mind that invades and ruins every aspect of your day-to-day life.

I wanted to get better, and yet, I didn't want to eat in the fear of gaining weight. Can you see my predicament? Can you see how silly doing something like this to yourself is? It's not worth it, believe me. There are better ways of losing weight, and most of the time, us girls don't even need to lose weight.

You lose a part of yourself when you give in to this culture that enforces a thin, near impossible body type that the majority of people will never be able to attain. I was naturally curvy, and no matter how hard I tried, I hated this about myself.

I was trying really hard not to, but I had fed into this 'ideal' body type more than my actual body.

Now, I was dealing with the repercussions of it.

Someone knocked on the change room's door. The hollow clacking of it made me jump a little and give a startled gasp.

"Isabel?" Romano opened the door slightly, but politely didn't poke his head into the room.

"Hmmm?" I squeaked. I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from bursting out into tears. I usually needed a couple of minutes to myself after inspecting my appearance in a mirror. Every time, it was a given that it would pull out a strong emotional reaction from me.

"The others are all ready to go," Romano told me. "We'll be waiting outside. I can, um, stay out here if it makes you more comfortable, though?"

"It's fine," I lied. "I'm changing now, it's all good! I'll be out in a minute, kay? I'll meet up with you guys there."

"All right." Romano shut the door.

I waited until I no longer heard the soft patter of his footsteps before I grabbed my face with both hands and let out a choked, dry sob. Everything was just too much. I felt helplessly overwhelmed and ashamed of myself.

My eyes squeezed shut and a spell of dizziness quickly overcame me. Sweat pricked at the back of my neck. My whole face burned in embarrassment.

I hadn't eaten enough this morning, and now I felt sick. My muscles were beginning to cramp. The water I had forced down didn't do anything to alleviate this excruciating pain; it was a punishment for not nourishing myself properly.

You'd think I'd listen to what my body was telling me. Most of the time, I only listened to what I saw. Nothing else mattered because I would always be thinking about how long it was until I ate next, how much I had eaten, and how long I would have to work out to burn off the food. And that's not even mentioning the constant paralyzing fear I had of people staring at me like how I stared at myself.

"Ay," I murmured softly as I hefted up my right leg over a wooden bench. I began to massage my calf, praying for the cramp to ride out quickly. I buried my head into my knee and continued to search for a solution.

When I found one, I didn't like it.

Gillian must have dropped a granola bar, as there was one resting on the bench next to me.

At the time, I hadn't realized that it had been left behind on purpose. My friends had a funny way of expressing their concern without directly addressing the subject.

I hadn't told them about it, but oh, did they know.

It's amazing how the world can be giving you so many obvious cues, and yet you still choose to ignore them out of sheer stubbornness.

The cramp _miraculously_ went away two minutes after I had finished the granola bar. Usually, I ate slowly to draw out the eating process, but my body was hungry and needed to fuel immediately.

I didn't have much time left to spare either way, so I quickly left the changeroom after that. It was strange, almost like I was floating as I closed the door behind me and entered the empty hallway.

I was acting like I hadn't just had a panic attack, and soon enough, I'd have to force who knows how many smiles on my face until I finally got home.

Ah! There I was again, getting all depressing and negative! Actually, now that I think of it, I feel a lot better now. I had just aired out my dirty thoughts, and was putting them behind me.

I hummed lightly under my breath to compensate for the unnerving silence in the school. The soft swish of my flip-flops echoed ominously, and I kept having to turn back to make sure that no one was following me.

The girls usually met at the front of the school, outside of the office, so I headed over there first. I wasn't thinking, and didn't realize that that would be the last place the team would go after the trucl incident just twenty minutes ago. The office was in plain view of the parking lot.

Rather than seeing my girls in the front entrance of the school, I was met with another old omen. Panic crept up in my throat. My shoulders sagged disbelievingly; I couldn't have been more flustered and angry with how things were working out for me today.

Sitting on a bench underneath a shade tree were Rodereich, and Liza, or 'Elizabeta' as she now referred to herself as. I recognized the neat, meticulous strands of ebony hair save for one clump that liked to stick out, the straight, rigid posture, and the wired spectacles perched on his pointed nose.

The sight of him sent shivers down my spine. If I were a dog, the shackles on my back would have been raised.

Liza was better than Rodereich. He was no good for her. He could be charming when he wanted to be, but deep down, he was rotten; stuck-up; malicious. He thought the whole world should bow at his feet. To see Liza willingly holding his hand and lean against his shoulder was a betrayal to the strong girl I once knew.

Liza never used to wear skirts, nor did she keep her long, chest-nut hair pinned back with a hair-clip. These things were all Rodereich's doing.

He was controlling, but his charisma blinded people to his abusive nature. When I dated him, he had somehow manipulated me into thinking that the only thing that mattered was his approval. History was repeating itself, but since I wasn't very close with Liza, it wasn't my place to say anything.

I would have to tell Gillian about this later, though. She was Liza's best friend and had the best chance of getting through to Liza, because lord knows how stubborn that Hungarian could be.

I stopped short a few paces from them. Although, the damage had already been done. Normally, I did my best to avoid Rodereich in the hallways. Now that I was here, however, he was going to say something. He always had something to say, and it was never positive.

"Looking for something, Isabel?" Rodereich spoke in a soft tone. His eyes told a different story. They were narrowed in a disgusted leer.

I straightened and readjusted the duffel bag hanging on my shoulder. The reason he hated me was not a valid one, and I absolutely wouldn't let him get to me. Maybe if I set an example for Liza, she would follow.

"Hey!" I replied cheerfully. "Nice morning, isn't it? I'm actually just looking for my team, but I guess they're not here, aha!"

Liza smiled at me. There was no reason for there to be tension between the three of us out of simple pettiness. Rodereich and I hadn't been together for years. I'm not even sure middle school romances counted for anything, anyway.

What counted now was getting Liza away from the toxic person sitting next to her. I couldn't force her, but if I could just show her who he was before it was too late…

"It's quite lovely, isn't it? Rodereich always knows the best places to sit at," Liza mused happily. She turned to give Rodereich a bemused glance, affection sparkling in her eyes.

I was making a strong effort to look anywhere but at Rodereich.

"I didn't know there was a try-out going on today," Liza continued. "Do you have the team put together?"

"Almost! The roster will be put up by the end of the week! I was surprised you didn't show up, Liza. We still could really use some mid-fielders. The younger ones are fast, but they get knocked off their feet a lot more than you do."

Liza shrugged. "I guess I just lost interest. I wish you guys the best of luck in your season. Say hi to Gillian for me if she's there!"

I nodded. At the same time, I swallowed down a sour taste in my mouth. Why couldn't Liza tell Gillian this herself? What was stopping her? Liza loved sports too. What had changed? Who was she?

Rodereich sniffed indignantly. This grated my nerves, and I lost my cool a lot faster than I had initially anticipated I would. It infuriated me how passive-aggressive he was.

"Is there something on your mind Rodereich?" I asked sweetly.

Rodereich stuck up his nose and irritably re-crossed his ankles. "Yes, actually. The foul odour of your 'equipment' is making my eyes water. I'd appreciate it if you left this space immediately. This is mine and Elizabeta's time alone. If you had any manners, you'd have already realized this. It's quite rude, actually."

Liza laughed nervously. I don't think she understood how mean Rodereich was being. "It's all right," she chided. "My cleats used to stink too back when I played. It's not that bad. Often enough, you don't even realize it."

Rodereich's temper flared. He had a strange way of expressing his anger with a stony look. Probably having never seen it before, Liza was put off by it, but she didn't offer anything else to the conversation. She didn't know what to do. Likely, she was trying to come up with an excuse for Rodereich's own rude behaviour.

"This is our special time together, Elizabeta. I won't stand for any interruptions. Especially from someone who has no problem poking into _everyone else's_ business," he muttered with an air of self-importance.

I held my ground. Liza looked between the both of us, not comprehending how Rodereich had just made an inexcusable biphobic comment.

My smile grew wider; more dangerously.

"You prick," Romano growled from behind me. He was speaking to Rodereich, and was glaring so intensely that I had half the mind to grab his wrist just in case he decided to lunge forward. He must have come looking for me since I had taken too long.

What scared me is that I didn't know how much of the conversation Romano had heard.

"Is that any way how you speak to someone?" Romano spat. "Get off you high-horse and apologize. The only person being rude here is your ignorant ass."

A lump in my throat formed. I don't know how, but Romano had already picked up on the tension in the air, something that Liza had yet to read.

"I'm obligated to do no such thing," Rodereich huffed.

Liza gaped, conflicted over what to do. She was starting to grasp that there was something more than the shallow surface of our words. This was a grudge and outright attack on my and Romano's sexuality, even if Rodereich didn't know about the latter.

"The hell you are. I don't know who raised you, but a real man with real manners would never look down on someone and dismiss them so easily. You're a real piece of work, you know that? Actually, you know what? Fuck you. I can see now that you've already made up your mind, and I'm not even going to bother arguing with you."

Romano then turned to look at me. "Don't listen to him, Isa. His words mean nothing."

"Excuse you," Rodereich pursed his thin lips into an angry line. "I'm not the one shouting like a mongrel and donning out insults left and right. No less, in front of my girlfriend. Do not make me repeat myself: take your crude vulgarity and leave. It's not welcome here."

"Oh, you're really asking for it now," Romano growled. "Someone should really teach you to keep your filthy mouth shut. I don't see a sign here with your name on it." He moved forward, and that's when I finally grabbed his wrist and shook my head.

I silently communicated to him that it wasn't worth it. The fury in his amber eyes didn't die down, but his posture relaxed considerably. Liza stared at us wide-eyed, like _we_ were the problems in this situation.

"Roma, let's just go. It's obvious we're not welcome here."

"Fine with me. You and I both don't need this shit. Here," Romano took the duffle bag from me. "I'll carry this. You look really tired. I haven't been exercising all morning, you have."

I gratefully let him take the extra load off my shoulders.

Rodereich was quickly forgotten as we turned on our heels to leave. That obviously didn't settle with him.

"Bunch of fools," he told Liza.

"Isa, so help me God, I'm going to beat the living shit out of that bastard," Romano growled as he held open the door for me.

He glared at Rodereich like a wolf would to a bunny that was constantly biting and pulling on his tail. I had no doubt in my mind that Romano could fight Rodereich and win. Thing is, that would only be giving in to his elaborate mind games.

Even if Romano didn't know about my past relationship with Rodereich, anyone could see how foully he had just treated me – us.

"Don't," I sighed. "You can't change the minds of people like that. It's best to just leave them alone, you know? I don't let things like this get me down. You shouldn't either."

Romano wasn't done with his rant.

"What about that girl, huh? She just sat there like a total ditz and didn't say a word," Romano retorted.

"She'll realize with time that he's not right for her. At least I hope…"

I spared one last glance at Liza, and what I saw angered me. No wonder Gillian hasn't been able to reach her. Liza's phone was presently sitting in the front pocket of Rodereich's blouse.

He had done the same thing with me: for 'safekeepings' as he liked to play it off as. You trusted him, and he made you believe that it was perfectly acceptable for him to read your texts.

It wasn't. That's a telltale sign of a controlling, manipulative partner. Don't _ever_ think of it otherwise.

What little hope I had for Liza was gone. Elizabeta had taken her place.

"Hey, Liza!" I called out in the heat of the moment.

Liza turned and offered me a meek smile in acknowledgement. "Yeah?"

"You might want to check your phone," I seethed with a bared smile. "Gillian's been trying to reach you all morning. She's here right now, but you probably didn't know that, huh? Take care," I finished bitterly.

Perhaps _this_ was petty of me, but it felt good to see Rodereich's face flush in annoyance. He had some explaining to do considering how shocked Liza had appeared at this revelation.

I smugly turned my back on them, letting the click of the doors shutting close off our dispute. It was a small victory on my part.

"Okay, what the hell?" Romano asked me as we strode through the hallways, heading for the back entrance of the school where everyone was waiting for us. "There's something extremely fishy about that guy."

"He's the biphobic ex-boyfriend I mentioned from before," I answered. "You're right. Rodereich's a real charmer, isn't he? I don't know what Liza sees in him."

"Maybe it's what she doesn't see in him. I wanted to step in and say something. You saw it too, didn't you? I mean, you'd have to. Of course, I could just be pandering to stereotypes, but last time I checked, hardly any guy I know owns a bright pink phone…"

I didn't know what to say. If it was that obvious…

"Rodereich, eh? What a fucking stuck-up name. It suits him."

I chuckled lightly at that. "Like I said before, there's nothing much we can do. Liza's got to realize at some point that he's not a nice person, far from it."

"Wrong. I could totally run back there and sucker punch him in the nose," Romano offered, albeit teasingly. The lop-sided grin on his face made my heart hammer uncomfortably in my chest. Or even the way that his hair curled more from sweat – he was just so attractive to me, everything about him.

"Like that'd solve anything!" I smiled. A sense of empowerment jolted in my stomach, rising into my chest. I hadn't felt this confident in a long time. Having the last word over Rodereich did wonders for my mood.

"True. But it'd feel good," Romano grudgingly assented. "It'd sure teach him a lesson for talking to you like that, let alone anyone."

"In case you didn't know, I can handle myself just fine!" I said as I puffed out my cheeks in a pout. "My whole family refers to me as a bull; poke at my temper long enough and I'll explode with rage and destroy everything in my path. Sometimes… that includes people too."

"Well, fuck. Remind me never to get on your bad side. Heck, I wouldn't even want to be on the opposite team of you in a competition. You just have such a determined look in your eyes, like you know what you want and will do anything to get it. It's both terrifying and cool as shit."

Waggling my eyebrows, I smirked at Romano. Of course, with my luck he didn't read between the lines.

"Let's just hurry," I told him. "The others are probably wondering where we are."

Romano and I walked in silence on the rest of the trip back, occasionally butting shoulders with each other. It was nice. He was one of the few people in this world where I didn't feel the need to keep up a conversation with him out of nervousness.

Silence could be nice if you were comfortable enough with the person.

We found Lud, Felicia and Gillian sitting at a picnic table outside of the science wing.

Gillian, rather than being her eccentric, shit-disturbing self was checking her phone. She frantically paced back and forth in agitation, ignoring Lud's questions about her peculiar behaviour.

She was waiting for a text that would never come.

…

Later that night

…

 **Romano's POV** :

I got home from my evening shift at ten PM, and had made fort at the living room couch with Felicia. She was busy typing away at her phone, likely texting the oaf across the lot from us.

That reminds me, I still had to wash his jersey and do something to make up for his kindness. Ugh, but that meant talking to him. I'd probably just leave a free pizza on his doorstep or something. His lunatic sister had a large enough appetite that I might even have to leave two.

Oh well. That wasn't what was on my mind right now. What happened today with Isa and that stuck-up asshole had really done a number on me. She said she was fine when we had parted ways for the day, but I couldn't be so sure.

Didn't all women say they were fine when in reality they could be anything less?

It was that doubt that made me want to do something. Should I text her? No, because then it would be hard to tell how she was really feeling. Call her…? Oh god, that was the right thing to do, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

I stared at the television screen blankly. There was some sort of hair product commercial playing, and the actor's long brown curls immediately made me think of Isa. See, we were even close enough for nicknames.

Fuck it all, I'm doing it. Attracted to her or not, I still wanted to make sure that she was all right.

As I stood up from the couch, Felicia giggled.

"It's about time, Roma," she remarked. "Go, call her. You can use my room. I thought there was something off with her too."

"And how in the hell did you know what I'm about to do?!" I snapped.

Felicia merely gave me a cryptic look before resuming with her texting.

"Ugh, you're so weird!" I huffed. "Who are you, and what have you done with my innocent little sister?"

"I think you mean psychic," Felicia retorted as I reluctantly stormed into her room and slammed the door shut.

"And I'm not innocent. If you'd let me work too and give yourself some time off, you'd realize that I've grown up a lot without having you here. I love you, but I just wish you'd stop babying me sometimes…"

…

 **Isabel's POV:**

"Ouch," I muttered to myself.

I was leaning against the wooden frame of my bed, legs stretched out as far as humanely possible. My calves were cramping again, a side effect from working out and not eating enough afterwards. This was my second time today, and yet, my brain had a convenient habit of coming up with all kinds of justifications other than the real reason at hand.

I had a large water bottle on my bedside. Of course, drinking from it did nothing to relieve these severe muscle contractions. Sometimes, I would lose sleep over them; I would barely move and my muscles would constrict in protest.

I really needed to listen to my body. More than that, I knew I needed to treat it better, but the sinister thoughts at the back of my mind were winning the fight today. Was it even much of a fight anymore? Ay, I don't know.

I already felt pretty miserable as it was. The small dinner I had made my stomach bloat. It was so large and… poofy! Not fat!

Still, I didn't dare to look at myself in a mirror. I was uncomfortable even in the loose pyjamas I was wearing to hide this. I bloated every time I had food now because my system wasn't used to processing it.

I shouldn't have worked out when I got home. What happened today with Rodereich really stressed me out, though. I needed a distraction, and running helped keep my mind off things.

Afterwards, I had napped all afternoon. Henrique made a small dinner, but as usual, we didn't eat together. I took what I wanted, and ate upstairs in my room, privately.

Even in the place where I felt most comfortable, I was still uncomfortable. I had draped my shower towel over the mirror, but the bloated and discomforting feeling usually didn't go away for hours.

I almost considered going to sleep for the night, as it would mean waking up to a flatter stomach and far less worries and negative thoughts.

Henrique, on the other hand, had a much different idea.

I jolted when he abruptly knocked on my door. "Isa," he said in a scolding tone. "Can I come in? I'm beginning to think that I live with a ghost. Did something happen today? You're being awfully quiet."

"One minute," I called back.

I hugged a pillow to my stomach and folded a comforter over my waist before allowing him in. My house was frigid in temperature because of the AC. If I wanted to feel warmth, there was our backyard deck and pool to enjoy for hot summer afternoons. I can't remember the last time I was able to wear a swimsuit without panicking and changing back into looser, _safer_ clothes.

"You can come in now," I sighed.

Henrique padded into the room in his evening slippers. His shoulder length brown curls were already gelled up and moussed for the following day.

He was very proud of his hair, and reminded me of a girl more often than not with his overly dramatic beauty routine. If I wasn't in such an odd mood, I would have already begun teasing him for it. Apparently, all the girls at his university fought with each other just to touch it when they ran sorority events.

A tinge of jealously coiled at the back of my throat, a putrid lump that had no intention of going away anytime soon. Henrique was thin and could eat anything he wanted without a care in the world – it just wasn't fair.

His green eyes narrowed when he spotted me curled up in a vulnerable ball. He sat on the foot of my bed. When I didn't say anything, he pursed his lips in careful contemplation.

I winced.

"You didn't eat much for dinner today," he remarked bluntly.

"I'm not feeling well," I stubbornly retorted.

"Isa! Enough! You know that bullshit doesn't work with me anymore!" Henrique snapped. I fell silent almost immediately. It was worth a try if it meant him possibly leaving me alone. I had my highs and I had my lows throughout the day – right now, I was experiencing a low.

Henrique inhaled sharply, calming himself before he spoke. This was a very sensitive topic with me and he had to be very careful.

"You're not eating again," he continued. "I thought we were done with this. You told me you were getting better. These past two weeks you've worked out way too much and have eaten barely anything at all. I know I said I'd trust you, and that's why I have to say something now. You're slipping again, sis. Don't you realize that? I can't… I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore."

Tears pricked at my eyes.

This wasn't the first time he's said this to me. The first time he had found out about my eating disorder, I had fainted right in front of him. He took me to the doctor. I had been ten pounds underweight.

I begged Henrique not to tell our parents, as they were never home anyway, and he had agreed on the promise that we would work together to fix my _problem_.

This has been going on for two years now. An eating disorder came in cycles. You recovered and slipped countless times. Just like my mood, it was full of ups and downs. The downs of eating more to fix your metabolism was that you gained a lot of weight before losing it again. That's the hardest thing to get through, and this time I was weak and chickened out the moment I noticed my arms and hips were getting bigger.

Then I wouldn't eat at all. Then I would be thin again, but in return, I would often lose a lot of hair. I was never thin enough to be hospitalized, but I wasn't exactly healthy either.

One time, I was partially successful. I had recovered and had gone through the weight gaining process successfully. My body stabilized, and I began to eat normally. A Victoria's secret model commercial had something to say about that, and triggered this same chain of events all over again. My body may have healed back then, but my mind had still been very much vulnerable, and I had given in.

I wasn't naturally built to be thin-thin. Sometimes, I realized this. Most of the time, however, I refused to. Irrationality was an inherent part of this disorder, this disease.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I can't help it."

"That's not what I want to hear, Isabel," Henrique replied, as patient as he could given the situation. "I don't want to do it, but I may have to tell Mom and Dad about this. This is the third time that we've had to go through this. I've been optimistic for long enough. I only want the best for you, and maybe you do need that extra help."

"Please, no!" I pleaded, surging forward. "Rique, don't! You know I'm trying. Sometimes… sometimes I just can't, all right!? It doesn't mean I like doing this to myself! Old habits are hard to break! You know what they'll do if they find out. They won't help me at all! They'll just send me off to some god forsaken facility, and then I'll never get to see you or my friends for so long! I'll grow painfully lonely, and it'll only make things worse. I need to be around people or else I'll go mad. Seeing people happy makes me happy!"

"But are you happy, sis? Are you really? You think that you're a good actor, but you're not. I can tell when your smile is real or not. You're suffering, and it kills me because I don't know what to do. How long have you not been eating again for?"

A sense of déjà vu crept over the room as I found a place under Henrique's arm. I hugged his waist, scared and uncertain. "Two weeks," I answered. "Maybe three."

Henrique stiffened. "And that's what worries me. You don't tell me anything, and I'm always left guessing how bad things are because you're always either out or holed up in your room. Perhaps telling Mom and Dad isn't the best way of going about this, but I've already accepted responsibility for this, for you, damn it. We're not doing nothing. I'm trying to understand, I really am, but I don't. You're a beautiful girl, and shouldn't ever have to worry about things like this. All I want is for you to get better."

"I do too."

We sat there in silence for a small bit.

"Isa?"

"Hmmm?"

"What made you first stop starving yourself? And don't you dare give me a roundabout answer like you usually do. I want you to really think about this. We both know the answer, but I think you need to be reminded of it."

I closed my eyes. "Well, other than you catching me fainting, I think it had most to do with the laundry detergent incident."

"And…"

I smiled faintly. "I was doing laundry, and was so distracted that I ended up checking the back label to see how many calories it was. I remember feeling ashamed, and also just laughing at the ridiculousness of it. It kept me going for seven months before I… you know…"

Henrique didn't need me to fill in the dots. "I'm glad we're on the same page. Okay, tell you what. I won't tell Mom and Dad this time. But, on a few conditions. One, you have to eat in the same room as me. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll look away. I just need to make sure that you're eating enough. Two, if you work out outside of practice, I have to be there to monitor you. And three, if you get worse, I'll have no choice but to tell Mom and Dad. I know it's hard, but I've seen you beat this illness before, and I'm putting my faith in you one last time. It's not about disappointing me either. I want you to do this for yourself."

I nodded my head, my cheeks still pressed up against his chest. "That's fair. And, you don't have to look away when I eat. I'll have to get used to eating in front of people and being comfortable with it. It's part of the recovery, yes?"

Henrique smiled in response and ruffled my hair. "There's dessert downstairs if you want? I'm going to go have some."

"Oh no, I'm okay!" I laughed weakly.

Henrique simply nodded his head in defeat, a tired expression on his face. He stood up from the bed and left my room, knowing that I would be slow to recover. He looked over his shoulder. "All right. If you want any, I'll leave it on the counter for a bit…"

I shrugged to hide how disappointed I was with myself. He was trying so hard, and cared so much. Why couldn't I just make him happy? Why did I have to worry him – or others for that matter?

I went back to hugging the pillow against my stomach. Now that I was all riled up, sleep would be near impossible.

And so it was when I got a random phone call.

Stunned, I picked up my cellphone – the caller idea said it was coming from Romano, or 'Future husband' as Gillian had labelled him for me.

Immediately, my mood improved, like the flick of a switch. I licked my lips and waited for it to ring twice, just to make sure that Romano wasn't calling me by accident. We either texted or occasionally I visited his work. He had never sought out to reach me first before, and the thought of this excited me.

"Hello, this is Isabel~!" I practiced.

"Ay! NO! That's weird! I should just say hello like any other normal person! But wait! I don't want him to think of me as normal!"

"Uh….UH! UH! I DON'T KNOW!"

"Dios mio! I forgot to answer the phone!" I wailed. "Now we'll never get together!"

"Um….Isa? I think you just put me on speaker phone," Romano cleared his throat.

I looked down. "Oh."

"Oh," I repeated, giggling. "Silly (STUPID!) me. So, eheh, what's up?"

"Am I calling at a bad time? You sound really out of breath?"

"No! NO!" I protested. "I'm fine. Just fine. Perhaps a bit surprised that you're calling me, but I'm okay, really!"

"All right…" Romano paused. "I… wanted to see how you're doing after... well. Look, I hope you didn't take that asshole's words to heart. I know you told me that you didn't, but girls have a strange habit of saying the opposite of how they feel, and I couldn't be too sure. I don't think a text would have sufficed, so here I am now, calling you…probably sounding awkward as fuck but when did that ever stop me?"

"Aw!" I cooed. "That's so sweet of you. I'm good, thanks for asking. You're not being awkward, promise. It's actually quite endearing. So, how are you? Did you work today?"

Romano gave a snort and an unenthusiastic hum. Meanwhile, I was too busy imagining the cute pout and frown that would likely be on his face right now. Before I knew it, my mind was trailing elsewhere. I thought about how he had picked me up that one time at the bus stop; he had been so whimsical and charming. One time? I swear, I swoon every time he playfully bumps shoulders with me.

He acted so different with me. Kind, but always shy. There were some moments where he teased back, and it was those moments that I lived for.

"Yeah, I just got back. I'm tired as hell."

"Why aren't you sleeping then?" I asked.

"Because I'm calling you."

"Oh, well I can hang up and let you get some rest?"

"No!" Romano blurted out. "I _wanted_ to call you."

"Si, but now that you know I'm okay, what now?" I smirked. He couldn't see this, but I was batting my lashes.

"I don't know. I didn't think that far ahead," Romano admitted.

"How about we get to know each other better and ask some random questions?" I proposed.

"Didn't we already do that when you came to visit me at the pizzeria?" Romano retorted.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" I scolded. "It's only you who asked the questions then, and they were mostly about why I was wasting my spare time on you, or if my parents knew where I was. You're like an old man, eheh. Anyways, this is what we're doing, no objections. I don't see you coming up with something else."

"Fine."

"Really?!" I squealed.

"Hell I don't see why not."

"Okay! What's the thing you admire most about yourself?"

"…"

"Surely, there's something you like about yourself!" I protested.

His silence was alarming.

"Fine, I'll go first," I declared. "I admire my passion and dedication for what I love, like football."

"Can't I just say something I admire about you?" Romano countered, his voice indicating a hint of flusterment. "I'm drawing a blank otherwise."

My cheeks became pink. Suddenly, I was hot and had to thrust the covers off my waist. "Fine, but only if you think of something you like about yourself afterwards! I'll do the same for you."

"Hmmm," Romano agreed. "I like how courageous and confident you are in yourself. I don't think I've ever seen someone so sure of themselves."

"Debatable," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing~! Now, how about yourself?"

Romano sighed. "Maybe my work ethic? But it's inconsistent. Like, I care about Feli, and work all the time for her, but I can't be bothered to do anything school-related. Even now, what I'm doing is out of necessity. If I had a choice, I'd likely be bumming around all summer."

"Can I add to that?" I hummed. I didn't give him a chance to answer. "Maybe it's not your work ethic, but your compassion for others. You're so adorable when you snap at people. I can tell that you don't mean to lose your temper. It's pretty hilarious when you feel guilty afterwards and apologize profusely, but only to girls! You're still a true gentleman deep down."

"I'm glad you think of me as a joke," Romano said sarcastically.

"I don't!" I wailed.

"I know, you're just really gullible and easy to convince," Romano teased. He chuckled quietly, sending tingles at the tips of my now reddening ears.

"That I am," I said as I pouted and bit my lip.

"Before we move on with another question, I just wanted to say that I really do admire what you're doing as well. It can't be easy raising your sister without any help. I guess I just wanted to say that I'm here for you if you ever need anything. I'll help to the best of my abilities."

I didn't mention how easily I could pay for their groceries or bills. They didn't know that my family was rich, and I knew how prideful Romano was. He didn't like discussing his financial troubles, and took personal offense to it if it was ever brought up.

"You don't have to do that," Romano said politely, although I could tell he was mildly irritated. Not at me, but at the topic. "We're handling ourselves just fine, thank you. All I ask is that you be a good friend to Feli."

"And you!" I intervened. "We're friends too."

"Duh, I wouldn't be calling you if that wasn't the case."

"Are you always this sassy?!" I deadpanned. "And here I thought I had a big mouth."

"Isa, believe me. You've seen nothing yet. This is only the tip of the iceberg of how nasty I can get. I'm a fucking monster if you get me angry enough."

"Nuh-uh! I refuse to believe that. You could be shouting at me at the top of your lungs, and still I'd laugh because of the way your eyebrows scrunch together; it makes you look like a deranged squirrel."

"Funny that you say that. This is a completely unrelated story, but I actually used to blame squirrels every time my Nonno caught me wetting the bed."

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed. "That's so funny!"

I began to laugh uncontrollably. After five minutes, Romano cursed at me because he had started to laugh too. Apparently, my laugh was funnier than the joke. I got that a lot.

We spent another two hours talking to each other. The questions thing had been completely abandoned. There was just something so natural between the two of us where we didn't need to use questions as prompts. Everything flowed so perfectly.

Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end. Felicia wanted to go to bed, and Romano had been using her room so that we could chat in private.

By the time I had hung up, I couldn't shake the grin of my face. I hadn't even noticed Henrique enter my room. "Why are you giggling so much? Who are you talking to? I'm trying to get some sleep, you know. The ladies don't like it when I have bags under my eyes."

No response.

"Huh? Isa? Helloooooooooo!?" Henrique waved a hand in front of my face. The faintest of smiles curled at the corners of his lips.

He left the room again and came back two minutes later. I still hadn't moved.

"I don't know why you're spacing out like a total weirdo, but who cares, as long as you're happy. That's all that matters to me."

"I'll…um… I'll just leave this here." Henrique quietly left my room again in a stunned daze. When he got back to his senses, unbeknownst to me, he lurked outside my bedroom door.

I looked at the slice of cake he had left for me on my nightstand.

You know what? Why not? I was feeling really good right now. I had to start somewhere if I wanted to get better.

I picked up the fork and held my breath.

Fight. Fight it, Isabel. You want to get better, don't you?

I did.

The sound of my fork scraping against the plate was like music to Henrique's ears.

…

 **Romano's POV:**

I was lying on my back in a lazy sprawled position. The springs from the pull-out couch were digging into my back, but I couldn't have cared less.

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't stop smiling, especially when I replayed the sound of Isabel's laughter that _I_ had caused in my head.

Felicia had long gone to sleep – she had been too tired to question my strange and uncharacteristic behaviour.

What was even more uncharacteristic of me was that at exactly mid-night, I got up and approached the mantel above the fire place.

I straightened Nonno's picture so that it was looking down at me again, and then climbed back into bed.

"Not fucking bad," I grinned with regards to my relatively good mood. "Not fucking bad at all. Huh."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I lied. This semester is surprisingly harder than the last one xD No matter, though. This story is making good progress (over half way through!) and I'll always be sure to make the chapters super long in light of my longer absences. You guys are so sweet and awesome with your support. Thank you so much for reading this story. Have a good day/night!

-Ella

* * *

 **Romano's POV:**

Two weeks. All it took was two weeks for my giddy fantasy land to come crashing down. Nah, I'm just kidding. But, I did have another dream about Nonno, which I still don't understand the reason for. Can't the old fucker just give up and leave me the hell alone?

"You're furrowing your eyebrows again," Nonno mused, and flipped onto his side on the bed across from me. We were in our old room, my old room now, and it appeared just like it had used to before I had gotten rid of the extra bed.

It brought a sense of uncomfortable nostalgia. Nonno's 'beauty' magazines were shamelessly sticking out from underneath his bed, the room smelled too strongly of cologne, music records were splattered all over our shared desk, and there were enough plants to steal all our oxygen and make us choke. Okay, no. That was just my anxiety bubbling up again. Nonno was a huge stressor for that.

"What are you thinking about, my darling, handsome grandson?" Nonno teased, and rolled his tongue, casual in his tone.

I grumbled something incoherent and turned on my side, facing the opposite direction from him. Sometimes, we took fiestas together in the afternoon. What hurt was that I knew this wasn't real. Maybe if I fell asleep here, I'd actually wake up and leave this nightmare.

"You're not real," I muttered. "Just leave me alone."

My bed creaked and folded underneath the sudden extra weight added onto it. Warm, large hands stroked the back of my head. Nonno chuckled softly and it sent tingles reeling up my spine. A lump formed in my throat as I squeezed my eyes shut, as tight as I possibly could.

I couldn't look at him. This Nonno was healthy, completely unlike the one I had seen when he had died. Now that he was away from me, up in heaven doing whatever perverted old men like him do, he sure seemed to be better off. Either that, or my mind was just guilt-tripping me again.

"You don't know that," Nonno chastised. "I could be real, or I couldn't be. Thing is, you have no proof. So why don't you do me a favor and let me see your face? I didn't bribe God to get here, only to have you pull a childish tantrum on me," he pouted.

I didn't respond, which in his mind, was the go ahead to start embarrassing me.

"Remember when you used to get mad if I didn't kiss your cheek before I left for work? Ohohoho, I sure paid for it when I got home. Bella used to tell me that there would be steam coming out of your ears all day. You never left the window…too busy plotting your revenge, heh?"

"First of all, I was five, let it go. And second of all, cut the shit. This is just my brain pulling some malicious subconscious scheme to get me to feel bad about myself. You're nothing more than a fucked-up fragmentation of my mind."

"Can this fucked-up fragmentation of your mind at least have a civil conversation with you? If I'm here, might as well make the most of it. And what did I tell you about swearing so much? The ladies don't like it! And men? Well, that's another story…"

I made a sour face – this Nonno was an excellent actor. On top of annoying me with embarrassing stories, he had even gotten the lame-ass Dad jokes down to a tee.

I didn't protest when Nonno gently pulled the blanket off my face, took my fists, and unfolded them at my sides. He even gave me a little poke in the stomach, which prompted a string of curses on my part.

"D-don't touch me there!" I snapped through gritted teeth. "You know that I hate being tickled!"

"Oh, so are you finally acknowledging me as real?" Nonno retorted.

I bit my lip and sighed softly. "I don't know. I'm just going to enjoy the moment, like you said. So, how's heaven? Have you slept with all the women yet?"

Nonno cracked a wide grin. "How do you know that I went to heaven?"

Too shy to look him in the eyes, I tilted my chin and gazed up at the ceiling. To get comfortable, I tucked my arms behind my head.

"You mentioned some God earlier. I've already accepted that I'm completely mental for dreaming this, and I'm rolling with it. Also, why wouldn't you get into heaven? You worked your ass off for your family, and donated money you clearly didn't have to any charity you heard about. You were the most selfless person I knew… maybe if you had just listened to me and relaxed you wouldn't have–"

"No, no. None of that," Nonno cut in. "What's done is done. There's nothing you can do."

"What are you here then for?"

"To find out why my grandson is still so miserable and secretive," Nonno said, amber eyes downcast before brightening slightly. "If you have something you want to tell me, feel free to tell it. My glorious arms are waiting for a nice big hug afterwards."

"It's a dream, it's not like telling you will help me get over what's been bugging me."

"It doesn't hurt to do it anyway," Nonno retorted. "It's good to release what's on your mind. Bottling it all up will do you no good. We men have a serious problem with that; there's nothing wrong with opening up, Romano. I know what's on your mind just by looking at you, but I want you to tell me yourself."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes and looked at him. If I told him, and he got angry, I might get scared enough to wake up from this. "I'm bisexual. There. Happy?"

"Okay," Nonno hummed.

"Okay?" I spluttered and sat up. "What do you mean by okay? What's okay? What the fuck does that mean?!"

"It means exactly as I said: okay. Good, fine, bene," Nonno placed a hand over my calf. Did you really think I would have a different response? You can't change who you are, and I'll always love you. Now, was that so hard? I think this is the most I've gotten out of you in the whole 17 years of your life," he paused to stare at a baby photo strung on the wall, one where he was pushing me down a slide at the park– back when I was his only joy and Felicia wasn't born yet.

"My only regret is that you didn't trust me enough to tell me this when I was alive."

I inhaled sharply and blinked tears out of my eyes. "That was a cheap trick, you bastard. You lied; you are a fragmentation of my mind. Thanks for making me feel like shit, not like I didn't need it or anything. Leave it to my luck to have something like this ruin all the good things that have been happening lately."

"That doesn't mean I'm not glad that you told me this here," Nonno said. "Actually, now that we're being honest with each other, I wouldn't have minded experimenting with a few men of my own if I had another life. It's too late now, but it's nice to think about. I suppose I'm not as brave as you in that regard," he finished, brows strung together and lips pensive with a kind of longing I hadn't ever seen in him.

I had to remind myself that this dream was an act, and nothing more.

"Ha," I scoffed. "Brave, my ass. Don't trivialize me either. It's not something you think about, it's part of who you are."

"Perhaps I didn't word myself correctly. I've always liked men and women. The difference between you and me is that you're more comfortable with admitting it."

"Oh great, now my mind is overcompensating by making my own grandfather gay," I deadpanned and clasped at my head. "Ugh! Make it stop! Wake me up from this nightmare, damn it!"

"Nightmare, what nightmare?" Nonno asked, smugly.

A whoosh of air stirred beneath me, and soon, I was no longer sitting on my bed. The air warmed considerably, and I felt firm cement underneath my feet. Soft singing and the hymns of nightclubs and pedestrians filled the humid night. Firm metal dug into my forearms until I realized I was leaning over the outside balcony of Nonno's old summer home in Rome, the one he had sold to help raise Feli and I.

I suddenly felt homesick, and gracelessly stumbled over a potted tomato plant as I whirred around to gaze at my surroundings. It all felt so real, and yet, unreal at the same time. It's that surreal experience in a dream where you know things are familiar, but there's this strange fuzziness and buzzing in your ear that distinguishes it as something not familiar enough.

"You miss it, don't you? My job now is to make this anything but a nightmare. I want you to live a little, puns aside. Lord knows how much you need this…" Nonno muttered that last part to himself.

"I do," I said, deeply breathing in the musky scent of soil. "I guess this isn't the worst dream out there. It's really kind of nice, actually."

"I hope you know that I was being completely serious before. I wish I had as much courage as you in admitting to that other part of myself."

"Please," I said, eyes twitching. "Just stop. Enough, drop it. Zip! Zilch! I _want_ to think this is real, but the overcompensation is become overwhelming."

Nonno laughed and resumed gazing out at the cobblestones below, thinking about who knows what.

 _Stubborn, and he still has that strange sense of humour. Now, how do I show how proud I am without embarrassing him? An impossible task…hmmmm… maybe if I irritate him, he'll open up again, like a little emotional burrito heheh~_

"You've been working too hard," Nonno furrowed his brows, commenting after a comfortable silence had passed between us. "Felicia notices it too. She's feeling the same guilt that you did when I used to look after you two."

I turned. "What am I supposed to do, Nonno?" Ignoring that I had just acknowledged him, I continued. "We'll be on the streets if I don't work, and she's too young to get a job. I'm trying my best so that she doesn't have to struggle or worry about the things that I had to… _have_ to."

Nonno placed a hand over my back and rubbed it two times before letting go, knowing that I would have leapt for his throat if he had kept it there any longer. "I raised you so well," he cooed, none-too subtly dodging my questions. "So loyal and dedicated!"

"Don't praise yourself, jackass!" I scolded.

Nonno raised two hands in surrender. "I kid, I kid. It's good to see that you both have been making friends lately."

"Yeah," I shrugged. "I guess. Felicia started drawing again. She, uh, took your passing really badly. Even now, she's still not quite the same as before."

Nonno nodded, sadly. "I know, but time heals most pains. I think my leaving helped her. She needs to make friends her own age instead of latching at my side all the time. Although, what I would give for one more Sunday breakfast with you two hungry bambinos…

"Promise me you won't make the same mistakes as I did. Remember to appreciate what you have and to savor it. Make time if you have to, even if you're busy, because before you know it, it can all be taken away from you just like that. You may be short on money, but life is even shorter."

"Well if that isn't the vaguest piece of advice I've ever heard," I scathed.

"There isn't much else to say," Nonno said, chestnut curls swaying stoically as if he possessed some higher wisdom. I would have believed it more had he not have been wearing a red bathrobe.

"I wish I had this profound life lesson to give you, but there isn't one. Life is never going to be easy. All I want is for you to stop and look up at what you have. Family is the most precious thing this world has to offer you."

"We were never angry with you, Nonno," I said, reading between the lines. "We understood why you weren't home often. What you did, it was too hard for a man your age. I don't care what you say, I should have helped out and gotten myself a job."

"You know I didn't want that," Nonno replied gratefully, folds crinkling at the corners of his eyes. "My heart was already bad in the first place. You two didn't have anything to do with it. I didn't listen to my doctor, he'd been telling me for years to cut down on the sugar in my diet. There's really no one else to blame but my own stubbornness, something you inherited, mind you."

Nonno waved his hand when I opened my mouth to speak. "But, enough about me. The past is the past, I want to talk about you."

"What about Felicia?" I asked warily.

"Her too, but I'll visit her later. That is, once I'm done with you."

"Even in the spirit world, you don't stop working."

"That's not true! I relax a lot in heaven! There'll be lots of saunas and pretty ladies to get back to. No need to worry about your old man, Roma. He's doing just fine. If anything, he's more worried about you."

"Why are we talking in third person now?"

"Ah! Again with the sarcasm and snappy responses! Tsk! It must be from your father's side…what an angry bitter bunch."

I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, you were saying?"

Nonno's eyes sparkled as he reached up to stroke his stubble-peppered jawline. He had always been an extremely forgetful person. More and more, I was beginning to believe it was him, correction, wanting to believe that it was.

"Oh! Right! You need to stop coddling Felicia. I know, I know it's hard since she's just so adorable and easy to squeeze, but do try to let her grow on her own. Besides, something tells me that you've got another beautiful girl on your mind. I approve~!"

"Ugh. You did not just wink at me."

"It made you blush, so it's worth it," Nonno crooned.

"I get what you're saying, but I don't like that German guy she's hanging out with. He gives me an uneasy feeling," I faltered.

"You're just being overprotective. It's good, but save it for later if he ever hurts her. I have a good feeling about that one, though. He's stiff as a board, her complete polar opposite," Nonno mused. "Eh, they seem to complement each other well enough. It'll be good for her to put herself out there anyway. However, that can't happen unless you set her free."

My shoulders slouched. "You're right, even if I hate it. I really, really don't like him Nonno. Even his face aggravates me."

"Now, you're just being immature," Nonno scolded. "So, about that girl…"

Nonno waggled his eyebrows and gave me his impression of a macho expression. There are some things you cannot unsee and this was a perfect example of that.

I looked up the sky. "CAN I WAKE UP NOW?!" Thunder rumbled as if to agree with me.

"Romano-!" Nonno pleaded. "Please be reasonable here! Wait!"

I stirred into consciousness, the smile of leaving dream Nonno stranded still lingering on my face. The sun was there to greet me, filtering through the windows so that I saw a warm orange beneath my eyelids. I laid in bed for a small while and enjoyed that uncanny feeling of comfort that one experiences when they wake up from a good dream.

I got up after hearing the clicking shut of the bathroom door just down the hallway, which reminded me that I had to get Felicia ready for her football practice and then prepare for my morning-afternoon shift at work. Oh well, the brief moment of relaxation was nice while it lasted.

I made Felicia breakfast, and as she and I ate, Felicia kept giving me wry glances and small giggles as I rapidly replied to Isa's texts. I could barely keep up with her explosive word diarrhea.

I swear, she narrated literally everything and made it into some grand story. I honestly didn't need to know about the well-being of her tomato plants, but she still told me anyway. Either way, I was secretly flattered that I was the person she told all this to.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Felicia as I took off the housekey from its hanged position by the door.

"Um, about that," Felicia shifted uncomfortably. "I promised Luddy that I would let him walk me to soccer practice."

"Okay," I said.

"Like, us two, alone…"

I stopped zipping up my morning jacket and held in a breath. "Okay," I repeated, albeit stiffly. "Go on then, I'll lock up. Be safe, and text me right when you get there."

"Okay?!" Felicia spluttered disbelievingly. "What does okay, mean? Roma, you're not going to follow us, are you?" she wailed. "You've embarrassed me enough! The girls already think I'm the baby of the team!"

"Okay means okay. Go and meet up with him. I'll see you later after work."

Felicia didn't move, so I gave her a soft push from behind. "I said go, dummy. I have to lock the door and you're in the way."

Felicia gave me a nervous smile. "Are you sick?"

"No."

"Stressed?"

"No."

"What about-"

"I said get a move on, Feli! God damn! You're going to be late."

"Okay…" Felicia simpered. Hesitantly she stepped out into the hallway. I rolled my eyes and gestured her forward, rolling my wrists as if I were shooing away a stray dog.

When I was sure that she was gone, I stepped back into the apartment. I was a bit disappointed that I wouldn't be getting to see Isabel this morning, but there was still a significant bounce in my step that I just couldn't shake off.

I approached the mantel in the living room that held that the only good photo of Nonno we had. I looked his photo straight in the eye.

"Everything is A-Okay, Nonno, you bastard."

…

Turns out letting Felicia go had put me in a real shit mood. My heels were getting sore from stomping on the pavement, and I had only just left the building having given Felicia enough time to walk away without having to see me. Unfortunately, this meant that I had missed my bus and now had to jog to work if I wanted to make it there on time.

"What's wrong? You look troubled," a soft melodic voice called after me as I brusquely brushed past the bus stop. I stopped and turned back, immediately recognizing the person as my landlord's girlfriend. She and him owned the two buildings that Gillian, Feli, Lud, and I all resided in.

Hairs stood up on the back of my neck. The Norwegian woman had always given me the creeps, what with her unnaturally long and pale blond hair and large blue eyes that seemed to stare through you rather than at you. She was on a completely different wavelength than normal people, and was known to give fortunes and 'cosmic' pieces of advice whether they were wanted or not.

She had what people called 'the Sight.'

Bashfully, I rubbed the back of my neck. "Ah, it's um, nothing Miss Lucy," I replied politely, "just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"You're lying. Mr. Troll just told me so," Lucy then reached up to fiddle with the cross-shaped clip that kept her bangs from falling into her face. "Tsk! Your grandpa raised you to have better manners than that, Romano," she chided.

"I'm telling you, that's all it is!" I laughed, nervously with obvious strain. Not even my magic flirting powers with women were going to work this time.

"Oh my," Lucy chuckled. "You're in love, aren't you? You can't even flirt anymore. How cute," she said, still managing to sound considerably monotone even when showing delight at something.

"Her? What her?" I said, eyes darting anywhere but at Lucy.

"Tsk. You teenagers really are quite a handful, not wanting to admit to anything. I have my own little brother to worry about, and now it looks like I'll have to look after you too. Go on, you lovestruck grump. You have a shift to attend, don't you?"

"You're really starting to freak me out, lady," I sighed. "Maybe you'll finally get me to believe in this kind of stuff."

"Hmm. Only time will tell," Lucy said, and then began playing with her fingers, tapping them together lightly. She truly did look like a modern-day witch.

Not knowing what else to do, I said my goodbyes and left.

"And Romano?"

"Yeah?"

"Your Grandfather loves you."

I smiled to myself, shoving my hands into my pockets. "I know."

…

I had never wished for an early death so much in my life. HA! You thought I was Romano? Wrong! Here, allow me.

 **Isabel's POV:**

Ahem, as I was saying, death would be nice. Why? Because Henrique had taken it upon himself to come to practice today. Our agreement was that he would supervise me any time I worked out, and that included running the team. I swear, if he stuffs one more orange slice in my face, I'm going to go super duper crazy on him! I was getting better at eating regularly now, although he still insisted on coming…bastard.

It's been a week, though, so his concern is understandable. I've already gained some weight, and am doing fairly well, eating nuts and lots of protein on top of the meals Henrique prepares for me. Of course, that doesn't mean anything, and I still have to be careful. This wasn't the first time I've attempted to recover from this illness, but hopefully it would be the last.

I just needed to find a way to combat these urges and to learn to ignore my triggers. Easier said than done, but irritating distractions sure help. I was already in a sour enough mood since Romano wasn't able to come today…

Henrique looked over his shoulder and winked at me. "See this, sis? This is what it's like to be a real leader!" He then got the girls to do this ridiculously complicated cheer and handshake that I would have to make them forget later. The way he towered over them made him seem more like a dictator than anything else.

"Fufufu!" Henrique laughed. "Yes, I know! My hair is quite fluffy! I put a lot of work into it!" Henrique told Felicia before turning to scold Kiki. "Oi! It's a two-touch drill, not whatever shoddy excuse that is! Control your movements, don't just go rushing in with full force!"

"Like, sorry!"

"It's okay, Isa. Just one more hour, and you get to go home. You can do this," I muttered to myself, hugging my knees to my chest. I was sitting off to the side of the field, along with Lud who had also been exiled. Henrique was just so bossy, and that's coming from me!

"You know, maybe I should take over this team for good. You girls haven't been trained by a real leader," Henrique said, teasing obviously, but still wanting to provoke a response out of me.

"I lied. I can't do this." Agh! He was too smug, and it's not like I could do anything about it either. He keeps threatening to tell the girls embarrassing stories of me if I snap at him. I absolutely cannot let that happen! I have a stoic image to maintain.

Grumpily, I watched the team fawn over Henrique as he instructed them with another footwork drill. Lud collapsed in a heap next to me, sitting up with an impeccably straight posture as always. The one thing that wasn't straight was the frown on his face as he watched Felicia laugh at one of Henrique's totally unfunny jokes.

"Aren't you going to do anything to stop this coup d'etat?" Lud asked me.

"No," I sighed. "It's fine. Let him relive his glory days."

"He's only in University," Lud said. "He's not the old man like you're making him out to be."

"Yeah, well, at least I'm not an old man living in a sixteen-year-old body," I snapped.

Lud shrugged and didn't say anything more. He knew that I was taking my frustration out on him. It happened very rarely, so he didn't let it bother him. He looked bothered enough himself.

Wordlessly, Lud reached into his gym bag and handed me a granola bar. "It looks like we both have sibling problems," he said, having just looked at the text Gillian sent him. I had gotten the same text too. It was something about how she had slept in and expected us to bring her breakfast when we got back. That's Gillian for you.

I exchanged a wary glance with Lud and he awkwardly met my gaze. His eyes were stern, but fond. He was a smart and perceptive kid, I'll give him that.

"Thanks." I accepted the granola bar from him, acknowledging that he would rather not put the action into words.

"Don't mention it."

…

 **Romano's POV:**

"There you go, my dude. A nice and fat one for ya!" Alfred beamed, and slapped down a five-dollar bill onto the counter. My face soured, but I still accepted the tip. Maybe I would pick up some sweets on my way home now.

"Have a good day, Alfred," I said dryly, and impatiently waved him off. "And thank you."

Alfred whistled. "Wowee, you sure are in some mood today," he chuckled. "I'll leave you to it, then. Peace homie, see you tomorrow."

Juggling a plastic plate of pizza and a two-litre bottle of coke, Alfred struggled to pull open the door. I don't know how many times I've told him that it was a pushing-door, but then again, he had the memory of a fruit fly. You couldn't hold such high expectations with him.

"Push. That's not pushing. Oh, for the love of fuck, here!" I stormed over to the front door and held it open for Alfred.

Alfred smiled bashfully and gave me a haphazard salute with his free hand. "At ease, punk," he teased. I ignored him and walked back to stand behind the front counter.

Since business was dead, I decided to take my lunch break. Heracles was in the back sleeping as usual, so it's not like he would notice if I slacked off and extended it a little. Besides, I was expecting a guilty and panicked phone call from Felicia any time now.

On my prediction, she called the minute her practice ended.

"Hello?" I answered my phone.

"Fratello! I'm sorry about this morning! You must have been really lonely, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings. You don't hate me, do you? I promise to make it up when you get home, I'll have dinner ready and everything!" Felicia chirped, nervously.

I furrowed my brows. Felicia worried me when she got like this. I still don't quite understand it, but she gets anxious sometimes and irrationally believes that she's annoying and that people hate her. She's bubbly for the most part, and then there are times where she's nervous and unsure of herself. I'd have to keep my eye out for that.

"Feli, you didn't hurt my feelings," I reassured her. "It's good that you're making…friends." I struggled immensely with that last part. Words cannot describe how much I hated that potato bastard. That prick irked me to no end, unreasoned loathing or not.

Felicia exploded with another bunch of apologies.

"Seriously," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm glad that you're putting yourself out there. I'm proud of you, really I am. There's no need to worry about me, I'll be fine on my own. Oh? Yeah sure, they can come over, no problem. I'll bring back a pizza or something. No really! It's fine!"

I had to hold the phone away from my ear as Felicia squeaked and said a whole bunch of incomprehensible nonsense. She was speaking too fast for me to understand.

"Felicia!" I interrupted. "It's okay to have friends over! It's okay for you to have friends! It's okay not to spend every waking minute with me or in the house! It's okay to live a little, okay?!"

"Okay…" Felicia trailed off. "I understand. Sorry Roma, I'll be looking forward to when you get back home from work…"

"Feli, wait!"

Too late. Felicia had already hung up the phone. I groaned and brought a hand to my forehead. "Fucking hell, she worries about things too much."

"I could say the same thing for you," Isabel greeted, and then pranced over to the front counter. She was still in her football uniform, minus her socks, cleats and shin pads. I focused on the flopping of her sandals instead of braving it out and looking her directly in the face.

"Isa, I'm working," I said. "I can't really chat- Ooph!"

Isabel placed an index finger on my mouth. "I'm not in a good mood right now, Roma, so you better listen up!" she declared, green eyes wild with determination. "Both you and your sister clearly need some space from each other, so I'm suggesting that you come over to my house for dinner tonight!"

"Ah…" I mumbled. The room became hot, and it wasn't coming from the heat emanating from the stoves in the kitchen.

"No buts!" Isabel intervened. "Gillian's already abducted your sister as we speak."

My eyes widened, and Isabel shed me with a devilish smirk. "She'll be fine. They're going to have a movie night. And as for us? You're going to be paying me back for not coming to practice today and for not answering my texts. You're a terrible friend, Roma. It really hurts me so," she pouted, and put on those irresistible puppy dog eyes of hers.

"Okay, you can speak now," she finished and took her finger off my mouth.

"I…I already told her that I didn't take it to heart," I said, stunned. "That's why I didn't come to practice, I let Gillian's brother take her. What put you into such a bad mood anyway? And you're being unfair. You know when I'm at work that I can't reply to you."

Isabel had this weird meekening effect on me. She mellowed me out, it was near impossible to lose your patience or temper on her. Even stranger was that I felt comfortable with swearing around her, despite her being a girl.

"The texts I can understand, but no changing the subject! First you have to agree to coming to my house."

"I don't know…" I faltered, swallowing awkwardly. "I've never really gone to people's houses before. And then there's Feli…"

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Like I said, you guys can't be glued to each other all the time!"

"Okay," I sighed. "Even if I do agree to coming to your house, which I'm not just to be clear, how are we getting there? What time? I have work in the morning and will probably have to leave early. Doesn't really seem worth it in my opinion."

I needed to come up with an excuse. Spending time alone with Isabel scared me. Sure, she came to my work often, but this was a whole other playing field. Who knows how much I would embarrass myself.

"My house isn't too far from here, and my brother can drive you home later. For the meantime, I'll stay here and help out with whatever I can!" Isabel said, and gave me her infamous sunny smile, the one that could thaw through my unease as if it were butter rather than years of tense balled up emotions.

"B-brother?" I squeaked.

"Yes, my brother," Isabel's excited tone dropped considerably. If I didn't know any better, I would have sensed some kind of resentment. "He's been wanting to meet you ever since he's seen me texting you so much."

Anxiety swelled in my stomach and then rose to my chest and throat until I could hardly breathe. I didn't like meeting new people. Hell, I didn't even like being around them for the most part. There were very few people in this world I could be around without feeling drained, bored, or wanting to leave.

I stared, unblinking. "I still don't think this is a good idea. I'm an asshole, remember? I'm not good with people…"

"You're not an asshole to me! Ay! We've been over this. Enough with the self-deprecating attitude!"" Isabel retorted. I had to hold in a smile at her naive misuse of the word. "Too bad, Roma. You're coming, and that's that."

As if to finalize her decision, Isabel huffed and seated herself at a table closest to the front counter, thin, stubby arms and legs crossed. "I didn't say yes, you know," I reminded her. Isabel frowned and muttered to herself, tongue poking out slightly.

That's when the guilt-tripping tactics set in.

Isabel soon busied herself with cleaning the restaurant despite my protests.

"You're not getting paid for this, just stop it already, damn it!"

"No!"

"And you say I'm stubborn?!" I spluttered.

"Oh, woe is me, I'm cleaning for my best friend in the whole wide world and yet he can't do me the favor of coming to my house!" Isabel sighed dramatically as she swept dirt off the carpets.

"That's a bit of an exaggeration, I'm sure you have other friends." Isabel ignored this, but most definitely took note of how flustered her comment had made me.

"Little Roma! Little Roma!" Isabel giggled. "Won't you let me into your life?" She then pretended to imitate me, very poorly mind you. "Not on the tip of my curly stubborn head!"

"I don't sound like that!" I protested. Thank the lord that no customers were around. This girl would honestly be the death of me.

"Shh! You do!"

"Isabel! Get down from there!"

"NO! Not until you agree to come!"

*Muffled Italian swearing*

Isabel's scheme ran for another hour or so before Heracles woke up from his nap, wanting to know where the miscellaneous bangs were coming from.

Rather than getting mad at Isabel, the two made quick friends, and I couldn't have been anymore embarrassed as Isabel told Heracles what she was attempting to do. I could only look with complete disbelief as the two communicated effortlessly with what seemed to be broken fragmented sentences – either that or they were speaking a completely different language.

"Hmmmm."

"Oh seriously?"

"Hmmmm.

"Oh seriously?"

"Mhmmm."

"Oh seriously?"

"Hahum…"

"Oh seriously?"

"?!"

"Oh seriously?!"

It wasn't long before they were both peering at me with matching scolding expressions. I knew I was a goner the moment Heracles picked up Isabel by the armpits, as if she were a cat, and immersed himself in some nonsense philosophical rant about how true beauty should be appreciated. It was pretty funny, though, as Isabel clearly hadn't been expecting this.

Before I was forced into leaving, however, Heracles insisted on feeding Isabel something. As I went into the back to make her a small donair, Heracles pulled me aside. For once, he was being serious.

"Watch out for that girl and make sure she eats more. Her weight is extremely concerning," he told me.

I nodded solemnly. "I know. I'm worried too. I just don't know what to say or how to bring it up."

Heracles clasped my shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly. "I had a little cousin with a similar problem. It's best to just show them that you know, rather than telling them. It only makes them feel guiltier."

"I'll…um keep that in mind."

"You're a good kid, Romano."

"I-I…kn-" I paused and caught myself.

"Thanks."

…

 **Romano's POV:**

"Geez, Romano! Relax!" Isabel scolded as we stepped into the front room of her house. I was in a complete awe and could hardly speak. She lived in a fucking mansion. Just her front room alone was three times larger than my apartment.

Immediately, I was met with a long winding staircase that led up to the second and third floors. The marble floors glistened and sparkled wherever you stood, and moulded pillars and banisters loomed and curled from above. There were lots of several-story long windows too, but what was strange was that there were no curtains. I suppose the plants resting by most of them had something to do with this, and it's not like Isa lived in a heavily populated neighborhood. Her house was situated at the very end of a block of high-end estates.

"Eh, sorry, I just can't believe that you…" I paused and looked Isabel up and down. She dressed so regularly. Social anxiety aside, my mind couldn't comprehend how someone so obviously rich dressed so simple. She wore sandals and overalls most of the time, but could easily afford any brand she wanted.

 _What I would give for a place like this._

"I get this reaction a lot," Isabel sighed knowingly and shrugged off her sandals. I smirked at the tomato prints she had painted onto her toenails, uh, not that I was looking or anything. Totally not.

I shrugged off my sneakers as well and froze in place, unsure as to what to do as Isabel bent over to open up the closet to her right. "Would you like some slippers to wear?" she asked me as if I had a choice over the matter.

Next thing I knew, I was wearing pink bunny slippers and Isabel was elatedly towing me down the front hallway. She began giving me a tour of the house too. I was still too stiff to be much of any help as she was doing most of the pulling.

"This is where I bumped my head and got a concussion!"

"This is where I found out I was a flaming bisexual! No, really! I used to hide pictures of female models underneath this crack, here, eheh! Sexy, si? I actually tend to prefer girls more, but you're still super cute!"

With the way she babbled on, you would think she had never heard of a period. She was surprisingly strong, and her hand was warm. I'm just glad that me coming here had made her happy.

"Funny, because I prefer boys more," I remarked. You should have seen how much Isabel's face puffed up after that, it was absolutely priceless. Truth is, I didn't really have a preference. I owe this to my lack of experience in the field of dating. I had flings, but that's about it.

"This is where Henrique lost his virginity. I don't know why I just told you that! Hahaha…oh he's going to kill me now. He came to my soccer practice today, but I don't know where he went after that. I think his girlfriend called him… or, he might be making dinner in the kitchen, actually… wait! I want you to introduce you to my cat first, she's really special to me."

I found myself sitting in a lounge on the second floor, waiting for Isabel to bring her cat. The sun was just beginning to set, casting deep orange shadows across the beige carpeting beneath my feet.

Isabel had taken me for a long walk before we headed for her house. It was kind of cute how she thought that I wouldn't see through her plan to draw out how much time we got to spend together.

To ease my nerves, I checked my phone for what must have been the fiftieth time. Felicia seemed to be doing okay, even if it was Gillian who was replying to my texts having abducted her phone. I would probably only stay for dinner and then a little bit afterwards to not be rude. The worries running around in my head wouldn't have had it otherwise.

I was comfortable with Isabel, but being alone with her still made me a bit uneasy. It's not that I didn't enjoy her company, I really did adore her, I was just awkward in expressing these kind of things. I'm just surprised I haven't snapped at her yet.

"Oof! Found her!" Isabel giggled, and came barging into the lounge with a notably overweight grey tabby cat in her tanned hands. "Roma, this is Ms. Tomatito. Ms. Tomatito, this is Roma."

I shrank away as Isabel took a few steps forward, looming over me with a devilish grin. "Isa, don't just -!"

PLOP!

"MREOW!"

Ms. Tomatito scrambled in my lap, but seemed to calm down when she realized that I was just as scared as she was. A long thirty seconds passed as I stared into its dilated olive irises. She licked her lips, gave a satisfied purr, and then claimed my lap for her own. I grunted under the extra weight, eyes bulged out.

"Wow! I haven't seen her take to someone so fast like this!" Isabel exclaimed in shock.

"Maybe it's because you launch the poor thing at your guests," I retorted, and then took to scratching a very pleased Ms. Tomatito's ears. The cat rubbed her head against my chest, tomato shaped collar jingling.

"Well, whatever just happened it worked because you've calmed down a little!" Isabel chuckled bashfully. She then reached over to grab my arm. "Ay! Still stiff as ever," she said as she attempted to bend my arm, but failed to do so. "It's like a steel beam!"

"Isa, I still don't get it. Why did you even want me over in the first place?"

"We're friends, are we not?"

"Yes, we've agreed on that," I relented, already feeling my cheeks begin to warm.

"It's simple then! Friends hang out with each other!"

"I guess so," I admitted. "I do have fun with you. I just hope you're not bored with me."

"Bored! Bah! You're hilarious to me Roma. Everything you do is hilarious actually, even your facial expressions!" Isabel smiled. "Oh! How silly of me, you must be hungry! Henrique just texted me, dinner's waiting for us whenever we're ready."

"You guys don't have dinner together?" I asked, warily. Maybe I could avoid meeting her brother, after all.

"Not all the time. We eat whenever we're hungry," Isabel answered. "So, are you hungry?"

"We can eat when you get hungry too, I can wait."

"No! But you're my guest, so we eat when you're hungry."

As if the Gods were testing me, my stomach growled. The loudness of it made me want to bury my face into Ms. Tomatito's furry back and never come out.

"That settles it then, up you go. Shoo! Toma! Shoo!"

Ms. Tomatito gave a large yelp and there was a heavy crash as she bolted away from the couch. Isabel shrugged. "She's so emotional. I don't understand why. I treat her well, don't I?" I opted not to say anything, knowing that it would go over her head regardless of my opinion. Isabel was an entirely different kind of stubborn from me.

After another clipped montage of Isabel dragging me across her house, she seated me at the kitchen island large enough to hold a world meeting of politicians. I was placed on a stool, unwilling to acknowledge that my feet dangled from the ground. The seats were tall, all right?!

Isabel turned to fish out some plates from the cabinet. On the stove, there was a large pan filled with shrimp, rice, lemon slices, and other kinds of clams and shells I didn't know the names of. Oddly enough, it smelled good. Half of the dish was missing, which I assumed Isabel's brother had taken for himself.

It didn't matter anyway because I was too nervous to eat much. Having Ms. Tomatito curled up at my feet at least gave me some comfort over the matter.

"She really likes you!" Isabel commented, as she pulled out a jug of water from the fridge. As soon as Isabel came closer, Ms. Tomatito scrambled out of the kitchen, tail hidden between her immensely overweight legs.

"Sorry if there's not enough food," Isabel apologized, oblivious to the scene she just caused. "Henrique has a really large appetite. If I need to, I'll make you something else."

"No, no. Really it's fine. That's more than enough, thank you," I said, and cringed at how robotic I sounded. I had never held such a straight posture in my life. It became even straighter as Isabel's brother entered the room.

The first thing I noticed was how similar they looked to one another. Both were tanned, had curly brown hair, although Henrique's was shorter and was tied back into a ponytail and had the same deep green eyes.

Almost immediately, I felt intimidated. Henrique was rather tall and muscular, and while there were lines by the corners of his mouth that indicated his frequent habit of smiling, he sure wasn't smiling now.

"Isa, have you been hiding your new friend from me?" Henrique excused. He placed a significant emphasis on the word friend that made me shiver slightly.

"No! I just forgot to! It's a big house, all right?! We didn't hear you making dinner. Um, ah, thank you eheh," Isabel said, eyes sheepishly darting between Henrique and I.

"You're welcome," Henrique replied.

Taking her cue, I got up to shake hands with Henrique, ignoring the instinct to bolt and get as far away from this man. He looked like the type of person who was kind, but would explode if you pissed them off…exactly like Isabel…

"So this is the Romano my lil sis was talking about? She's right, you do have nice bone structure. What's your nationality? The name's Henrique, by the way."

"Stop it!" Isabel hissed in Spanish. "You're going to scare him off. God, you're so embarrassing!" Henrique ignored her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too," I swallowed. "I'm Italian."

"Huh, so I'm sure you won't have a problem with tonight's dinner then, huh?" Henrique asked.

"No, of course not, sir. It looks delicious."

"Oh good, good. I'm glad. I hope you don't mind, but I really ought to change the photos on the fridge. They're getting a bit bland, and I only want our guests to see the best." I couldn't tell you what Henrique meant by that.

It only became clear when he started plucking off pictures of male actors from the fridge, Isabel's idols, and began replacing them with female models. "Aren't women wonderful?" Henrique chirped. "Better than us guys, eh Romano? We can be quite the pigs. I always tell Isa that she'd be better off with a woman."

Weakly, I nodded my head.

Isabel brought a hand to her forehead. "You're not doing this right now. I'm going to close my eyes, and this is all just going to be one stupid dream ahahah!" She was clearly on the verge of losing her temper.

"Attitude," Henrique chastised. "Be nice, or I'll tell him about the time that you…" I lost track of the conversation as they slipped into some kind of creole, a mix between Portuguese and Spanish. Isabel looked positively horrified.

I felt like I was caught in the middle of a battlefield as Henrique smugly waved around the photos before languidly pinning them to the fridge, taking his sweet time. I didn't have anything else to do but to take my seat again and accept the plate of food Isabel just about shoved at me from across the island.

"Here!" Isabel snapped, perhaps more fiercely than intended. She then took her own plate and sat next to me with a large huff, making great lengths to ignore the bemused stares of her older brother.

"So, Romano. How's the food?" Henrique asked as he casually leaned against the fridge. He had been waiting until just the right moment where I had a large amount of food to ask me this.

"Good," I said, after finishing what I was eating. I wasn't going to let him belittle me anymore. His provocations were beginning to get on my nerves, replacing my previous distress. I was raised to stand up for myself. However, the best revenge was to be the bigger person and to be polite while enacting it. My temper would have something to say about that, though.

"Good," Henrique hummed and pursed his lips firmly.

Steam visibly came out of Isabel's ears as Henrique grabbed the pan of food from the oven top and ladled several more heaps onto her plate. "Aren't you going to eat more of the food your beloved older brother cooked for you? Don't be shy, go on. Tell me how much you enjoy it."

Henrique then turned to me. "You should have seen her when she was younger. Hermano! Hermano!" he mocked. "I'm getting chubby because of you and your yummy cooking!' She's always been such a silly girl, she was already _perfect_ to begin with."

Isabel glared at Henrique. "I thought you were going to your girlfriend's place tonight? Or did she get tired of your big fat head and dump you?"

Henrique whistled. "Someone's riled up today."

Meanwhile, I had to cough in my shoulder to hold back a laugh. Unfortunately, this didn't go unnoticed by Henrique and he gave me a discreet warning glance before flipping back to a sunny smile. It was like night and day with this guy; you never knew what to expect.

Isabel hadn't even touched her food, so I stopped out of politeness. I don't think anyone would have been able to eat in an atmosphere as tense as this. Spears of anger radiated off her, it was near suffocating.

Thankfully, Henrique's phone rang to break off the silence. "Well, that's my girl wondering where I am. Enjoy dinner you two. Just know that I have cameras installed, so don't do anything too hasty." He looked at me.

"It's obvious someone is tired of being babied constantly, so I'll back off." He looked at Isabel.

"He's lying," Isabel quipped, "we don't have cameras."

"What if I installed them behind your back?"

"You're too dumb and lazy to. You probably took a siesta after trying to figure out how to pay for them online."

"Ay!

Henrique took things a dramatic step further when he pulled out a butcher knife from a nearby wooden holder. "After all, all pigs can be slaughtered," he trailed off ominously before slowly sliding the potential murder weapon back into place. "You better take care of my sister when I'm gone."

"Dually noted," I agreed, although in a slightly harsher tone than before. My already thin patience was waning, but I didn't want to disappoint Isabel either. She seemed to be doing a good enough job at cutting her brother down from his pedestal. I've always admired her for her spunk.

"Is that sass I detect?" Henrique raised a brow, dangerously insinuating a threat I didn't want to find out.

"…"

"All right! All right! I'm leaving!"

Isabel completely lost it at this point and stood up to escort her brother out. Several stomps, shouts, and bangs later, and she came back to the table.

"You know what, let's just eat outside," Isabel snapped. "He's completely ruined the mood in here." There wasn't much room for protest as Isabel had already grabbed my plate. I meekly followed her to the patio and opened the glass sliding door for her to walk through.

She led us out onto the wooden deck, flicking on switches that turned on the fairy lights strung along the wooden posts. There were also lights from the pool, hot tub, and shed to brighten up the area. It made the forest seem a little less scary, especially since it was completely dark now.

We sat on a glass table, and I helped Isabel light some candles and raise the umbrella sticking out from the middle of the surface. It seemed more like a romantic dinner than anything else. Isabel's mood brightened considerably as she gave me teasing winks here and there. When she handed me a napkin, I jolted slightly, but was able to pass it off as nothing…somehow.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Isabel asked me.

"I'm waiting for you," I responded. Isabel smiled shyly and raised her fork in toast. It took a bit of time, but after a few lame jokes on Isabel's part, we were back to business in terms of establishing suitable comfort levels. She complained about her brother, I laughed. I complained about Lud, she laughed. It was all around a really pleasant and enjoyable experience. I don't think I've shared a moment like this with someone other than my family. Her smile and laugh were just so beautiful. It radiated brighter than anything, and you felt it seep right through you.

Still, I wasn't a complete moron. I noticed how small the bites of food that she took were. I didn't know where to start or how to even subtly hint at the topic. Was it even my place to?

BEEP!

My phone rang and I gave out a loathsome sigh.

"Is it Gillian or Feli this time?" Isabel asked me.

"Feli. She wants to know when I'm going to be home. I work early tomorrow," I explained.

"You still have a bit of time. Henrique won't be gone long, and we can drive back in a bit."

"I'd rather walk," I sniffed and feigned a shudder. "I can tell when someone doesn't like me."

"It's not that he doesn't like you. He's just overprotective. Kinda like how you are with Feli."

"Nah, I get it," I shrugged. "Never realized how terrifying it is to be on the other end of it, though."

Isabel laughed and had to take a large sip of water since she had almost choked. God, was she ever clumsy. We continued to chat, and when it became clear that she wasn't going to finish her plate, I cleared my throat.

"I can finish that if it's too much for you," I offered.

"No, I'll eat it, I just…" Isabel paused.

"It's okay," I whispered. "You don't have to explain."

Isabel looked up. Her lips trembled as she spoke. "Do you know about...?" she left the question open-ended, too terrified to voice what was on her mind.

"I do, well, at least I think I do."

Isabel's face flattened. "Oh. And here I thought I was so good at hiding it. Silly me."

"Hey," I said, and placed my fork against my empty plate. "There's nothing to feel ashamed of. We all have our own shit to deal with. I think it's pretty fucking brave of you to deal with something that crippling everyday. I can't imagine what it's like. We've all noticed it too, Gillian and Marianne and the others I mean. You've been eating more lately, and that's all that matters. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I guess," Isabel said. She was trying hard not to cry and it just about shattered my heart to see her look so devastated and afraid. "If you know already, then I want to tell you everything."

And so, she did. She told me about her eating disorder, how she couldn't look at herself in the mirror in some days, how she hated lying to everyone, how her parents were never around, and how she was still very early in the recovery process. I listened with open ears and was very careful to maintain a neutral expression until she was finished.

"You're beautiful," I told her.

"W-what?"

"You heard me, Isa. It takes a strong person to go through all this and yet not be a complete asshole. You're sweet, kind, and you can really tell that you care about others. Now all we have to do is help you take care of yourself."

"We?" Isabel frowned, dabbing at the corner of her eyes with a napkin.

"Yes, we. I'll be right here with you, and Iam always open if you need to talk to someone. It doesn't matter how long it takes. You're getting better, and before you know it, this will be nothing more than a blip in the past."

Isabel shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Roma, this isn't the first time I've gone through this. I can't promise you that I'll get better this time."

"I know, and that's okay. But, I want you to promise me that you'll try your best. You have Henrique, you have the team, Gillian, Marianne, Feli, and me on your side. We just want you to get better."

Isabel sniffed. "Thank you, hearing that…you have no idea how much that means to me. It's nice to have someone not look at me as if I'm broken and to understand how hard it is to get over something like this. I've tried so hard, and I really think this time I can overcome it."

"I do too," I said. "Now c'mere. I don't do this often, but it looks like you could use a good hug."

I opened my arms and leaned over. Isabel wasn't shy at all as she folded me in a hug, lightly weeping as I rubbed small circles into her back. At some point, we got up, leaving the dishes behind and sat on a rocking chair pushed up against the side of the deck.

I wrapped an arm around her and gently rocked it back and forth, occasionally murmuring reassurances to her. Sometimes the happiest seeming people are the ones that suffer most. Just because they don't show it doesn't mean that what they're experiencing isn't valid. I wanted to show her that it was okay to express how she truly felt.

I know I'm being hypocritical and that I should learn to listen to my own advice, but that didn't matter now. Isabel mattered to me; she was family, and God, was I ever proud of her.

"Romano?" Isabel spoke up after a while. "What about you? You've got your own things to worry about. It can't be easy raising Feli on your own and I know that bills are tight. I can help you too. Even if it's just something as simple as groceries, I want you to know that you can rely on me as well."

"Thank you, but I'm doing just fine. Things usually settle themselves without me having to worry. I'll keep what you said in mind though." Isabel didn't push the matter any further, recognizing that this was still a sensitive topic for me. I truly wished that I could be as honest with her as she was being with me. I simply wasn't brave enough, nor was I confident enough in myself.

"Well, don't be surprised if you see groceries delivered at your doorstep."

"Isa…" I warned, albeit teasingly. The giggles it prompted out of her was totally worth it.

"Ah," she sighed, green eyes gazing up with wonder at the night sky. "I have a lot of difficulties up ahead of me, but with you, I know that I'll get there eventually."

"I don't know if you realize this, but you brighten my day too, Isa. Everything is always better and more manageable when you're around. It's got to be your smile, because hell if it isn't contagious."

"You're so sweet!" Isabel cooed. I spluttered and choked for air as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I quickly became aware of just how close she was and had to avoid staring at her. I could smell her, the familiar and pleasant mix of soil and cinnamon. Her face glistened underneath the moonlight, brightening what was already a blinding smile. "I can't handle your cuteness."

Isabel moved closer and reached out to cup my face. I reeled away. "Is something wrong?" she asked me, trying not to look hurt as she settled at my side again.

"No, I mean yeah, there is," I said. "I don't know if this is a good idea."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, you and me."

"Oh."

"It's not that I don't like you, believe me I do. I think my arm is obvious of that. I don't know how to say this without being blunt. Maybe now's not a good time. We're both not in the best places, and I know I've told you this before, but I'm absolute shit when it comes to maintaining relationships of any kind."

"Roma?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up. It's about time that you be honest with me too."

Next thing I knew Isabel was kissing me with full force. I gasped, but was quick to recover as Isabel settled in my lap. My hands raked through her thick brown curls as she sucked and pulled at my bottom lips with her teeth, demanding access. I complied, and our tongues slipped in together in a sweet, slow, and sensual tempo. There was no rush; it wasn't flashy and it wasn't long, and yet, it couldn't have been anymore perfect.

Isabel cupped my face with one hand. "We'll take it slow if you need to figure things out. All I know is that I have really strong feelings for you, and I know that you feel the same way. We don't have to call this anything until you're absolutely ready. Okay?"

I gently bumped foreheads with Isabel. It was all I could do from bringing her close into another hug and squeezing her until we couldn't breathe. I didn't realize how much I needed something, correction, someone like this until it was presented right in front of me.

She…made me happy in more ways than one.

I breathed in deeply, and let my heartrate rest a bit before speaking, feeling as if I were going to wake up at any moment. I didn't.

"Okay."

…

 **To be continued**


End file.
